Halloween 2024 is almost here! And one of the best ways to prepare for the festivities and get into the holiday spirit is by sharing funny Halloween jokes with your family and friends.
From corny jokes that are so ghastly they’re great to Halloween jokes for kids that’ll help make the days leading up to October 31st more fun, this list of 200 funny Halloween jokes incorporates all of your favorite themed icons, such as witches, skeletons, ghosts and werewolves.
Whether you’re into cheesy jokes about vampires not liking Taylor Swift’s “Bad Blood” or prefer jokes for kids that are all about puns and wordplay, these hilarious Halloween jokes are guaranteed to make you—and anyone you share them with—cackle with laughter.
Related: Best Halloween Activities and Traditions
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Halloween Jokes for Kids
1. Why did the skeleton climb up the tree? Because a dog was after his bones!
2. Why did the Headless Horseman get a job? He was trying to get ahead in life.
3. The skeleton couldn’t help being afraid of the storm—he just didn’t have any guts.
4. How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
5. What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred? Spooktacles.
6. What can you catch from a vampire in winter? Frostbite.
7. What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires? Fangs-giving!
8. Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Phillip!
Phillip who?
Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!
9. Why didn’t the skeleton go to prom? He had no body to go with.
10. Who did the scary ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up!
11. What is a vampire’s favorite Halloween candy? A sucker.
12. What’s it like being kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
13. Where do ghosts go on holidays? The Boohamas.
14. What sound do witches make when they eat cereal? Snap, Cackle & Pop!
15. What did one ghost say to the other? Get a life!
16. Where do fashionable ghosts shop? Bootiques.
17. How do you know vampires love baseball? They turn into bats every night.
18. Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Witch!
Witch who?
Witch one of you will give me lots of Halloween candy?
19. Where do ghosts like to travel on vacation? The Dead Sea!
20. The skeleton didn’t mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
21. How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
22. Why didn’t the zombie go to school? He felt rotten!
Related: 75 Halloween Puns
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Funny Halloween Jokes
23. What did the fisherman say on Halloween? Trick or trout.
24. What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin.
25. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry! I didn’t mean to scare you.
26. Why are ghosts so bad at telling lies? Because you can see right through them.
27. Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Day-scare.
28. What did the bird say on Halloween? Twick or tweet.
29. What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost as they drove down the street? Buckle your sheet belt!
30. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Howl!
Howl who?
Howl you know unless you open the door!
31. Where does a vampire eat his lunch? In the casketeria.
32. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.
33. What goes “Ha-ha-ha-ha!” right before a gigantic sounding crash and then keeps laughing? A monster laughing its head off!
34. What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? A sax-a-bone.
35. What do skeletons fly around in? A scareplane or a skelecopter.
36. How do ghosts search the Web? They use ghoul-gle.
37. Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend!
38. Wanna know why skeletons are so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
39. How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern? You use a pumpkin patch!
40. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Cement.
Cement who?
Cement to scream when she saw Dracula but she fainted instead!
41. What has hundreds of ears but can’t hear a thing? A cornfield!
42. The skeleton canceled the gallery showing of his skull-ptures because his heart wasn’t in it.
43. Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin.
44. What type of plates do skeletons like to use? Bone china.
45. What goes around a haunted house and never stops? A fence.
46. What did one thirsty vampire say to the other as they were passing the morgue? Let’s stop in for a cool one!
47. What is a vampire’s pet peeve? A Tourniquet!
48. Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees? They’re LUMBARjacks!
49. Where do ghosts like to trick-or-treat? Dead ends.
50. The skeleton decided to bone up on the facts for the big exam.
51. Who do monsters buy cookies from? Ghoul scouts.
Related: 100 Halloween Quotes
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52. Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Ben!
Ben who?
Ben waiting to get candy all day!
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53. How does a vampire enter his house? Through the bat flap!
54. Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story? Because there are so many plots there!
55. Why do Jack-o-lanterns have wicked smiles? Because they just had their brains scooped out!
56. Why are there fences around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in.
57. What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? The house was repossessed.
58. What did the girl horse dress up as for Halloween? A night mare.
59. What Halloween candy should you give trick-or-treaters if you want them to think you’re rich? A 100 Grand candy bar.
60. What do demons eat for breakfast? Deviled eggs.
61. Why did the werewolf go to the dressing room when he saw the full moon? He needed to change.
62. Where is the best place to party on Halloween? The g-RAVE-yard.
63. Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife get to sleep? Because of his coffin.
64. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A neck-tarine.
65. Why did the baby wrap itself in white cloth strips? It was trying to be just like its mummy.
66. What’s the best way to get rid of a demon? Exorcise a lot.
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Halloween Dad Jokes
67. Why do ghosts like to hang out at bars? Because all of the Boos.
68. What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us.
69. Why do ghosts hate when it rains on Halloween? It dampens their spirits.
70. Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
71. What pants do ghosts love to wear? Boo-jeans!
72. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo.
73. What kind of monster is the best dancer? The boogieman.
74. What is a witch’s favorite class? Spelling!
75. What do you call a chicken that haunts your house? A poultrygeist.
76. Why do ghosts love going to Six Flaggs? Because they can ride lots of roller-GHOST-ers.
77. How do monsters like their eggs? Terror-fried.
78. Why didn’t the coffee bean go to the Halloween party? Because it was grounded.
79. Who are the werewolf’s cousins? The what-wolf and then when-wolf.
80. Why didn’t the mummy have any friends? He was too wrapped up in himself.
81. What is a ghost’s favorite meal? Spook-ghetti.
82. What do witches use on their hair? Scare-spray.
83. Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
84. The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it and the user does not see it. What is it? A coffin.
85. What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A grave problem.
86. Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift? Because she had bad blood.
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87. Why cant the boy ghost have babies? Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
88. What do female ghosts use to do their makeup? Vanishing Cream!
89. Every Sunday, the skeleton plays his organ for the congregation.
90. The favored historical ruler of skeletons is none other than Napoleon Bone-a-part.
91. How do ghosts send letters? Through the ghost office.
92. What is a recess at a mortuary called? A Coffin Break!
93. The skeleton knew what would happen next—he could just feel it in his bones.
94. Where does Dracula keep his money? In a blood bank.
95. How do you get inside a locked cemetery at night? Use a Skeleton Key to unlock the gates!
96. The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn’t have one.
97. Why are all of Superman’s costumes tight? They’re all size S.
98. I wanted to tell a skeleton pun, but I don’t have the guts for it.
99. What is it called when Dracula rearranges his furniture with his teeth? Fang-shui.
100. Did you hear about the chopper that crashed in the cemetery? Search and rescue workers have recovered 100 bodies and expect that number to climb as digging continues.
101. Which vampire is the best at math? Count Dracula.
102. When do cows turn into werewolves? During the full moooooon.
103. What’s a werewolf’s go-to pickup line? “Howl you doin’, good looking?”
104. Why can’t vampires go to barbecues during the summer? They’re afraid of the stakes.
105. How does Frankenstein get around town? In his monster truck!
106. What did the ghost say when he fell down? “I got a boo-boo.”
107. What did the turkey dress up as for Halloween? A gobblin’!
108. How do vampires start their letters? “Tomb it may concern…”
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Laugh-Out-Loud Halloween Jokes and Riddles
109. Why was the broom late? It over swept.
110. How did Dracula learn to be a vampire? He took a crash corpse online.
111. How do you make a witch itch? Take the W away.
112. What’s a ghost’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghoul-iet.
113. Why do ghosts pick their noses? They have boo-gers!
114. Have you heard about the poor witch who won the lottery? It was a rags to witches story.
115. Which key opens a haunted house? A spook-key!
116. Where do werewolves store their Halloween candy? In a were-house.
117. When’s the best time to cast a spell? The witching hour.
118. Why did the policeman give a ticket to the ghost on Halloween night? It didn’t have a haunting license.
119. What did the skeleton order at the restaurant? Spare ribs.
120. How does Dracula stay fit? He plays bat-minton.
121. What do you call a cow on Halloween? A boo-vine.
122. Why did the vampire get glasses? It was as blind as a bat.
123. What’s a ghost’s favorite type of bean? A human bean.
124. Why are spiders great baseball players? They know how to catch flies.
125. What did the ghost use to wash her hair? Sham-boo.
126. What position does the teenage ghost play in soccer? Ghoul-keeper.
127. Who’s in charge of the candy corn on Halloween? The kernal.
128. What does a ghoul put on its pizza? Monster-ella cheese.
129. Why does a witch ride a broomstick? So she can make a clean getaway.
130. Why do ghosts make the best cheerleaders? Because they have spirit.
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The Best Halloween Jokes and Puns
131. What kind of bread do zombies like best? Whole brain.
132. How does a ghost get its girlfriend’s attention? “Hey, boo!”
133. What do witches feed their cats for breakfast? Mice crispies.
134. Why don’t skeletons skydive? They don’t have the stomach for it.
135. What do you call Winnie-the-Pooh on Halloween? Winnie-the-Boo!
136. Why don’t mummies take time off work? They’re afraid to unwind.
137. What do you call two spiders who just got married? Newly webs.
138. What’s the best thing to put in pumpkin pie? Your teeth.
139. Where do zombies live? Dead-end streets.
140. What’s a ghost’s favorite day of the week? Fright-day!
141. Did you hear about the crazy vampire? He was totally batty.
142. How do witches play loud music? On their boom boxes.
143. What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
144. What’s a monster’s favorite type of cheese? Muenster.
145. What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-boo!
146. What room do ghosts not need in a home? A living room.
147. How much does a bone car cost? A skeleton-ton!
148. What is a monster’s favorite type of pet? Creepy crawlies.
149. Where did the college ghosts go for spring break? Mali-boo.
150. Why did the mom ghost starch her sheets? She wanted everyone to be scared stiff.
151. How did the zombie become great at trick-or-treating? Dead-ication.
152. What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal? Rice Creepies.
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153. How do zombies serve the country? In the Marine Corpse.
154. What do skeleton dogs eat? Milk bones.
155. What’s a vampire’s favorite kind of dog? A bloodhound.
156. What did the skeleton wear to the Halloween party? A human costume!
157. Why did the witch take a nap? She need to rest a spell.
158. What candy do you eat on the playground? Recess pieces.
159. What do you call a hip jack-o’-lantern? Way ahead of the carve.
160. What type of pumpkins work at the local pool? Life-gourds.
161. What did one ghost say to the other ghost? Do you believe in people?
162. How do witches play loud music? On their broom boxes.
163. What does a turkey dress up for on Halloween? A goblin.
164. Why did the scarecrow decline dessert? He was already stuffed.
165. What is Dracula’s favorite cake flavor? Vein-ella.
166. What did the witch do when her car broke down? She witch-hiked.
167. What do witches put on their bagels? Scream cheese.
168. What did the happy pumpkin say? Life is gourd.
169. What did the zombie say to his date? I love a woman with brains!
170. What’s a bird’s favorite Halloween game? Ducking for apples.
171. What do ghosts call a mistake? A boo boo.
172. What made the witch go to the hospital? She had a dizzy spell.
173. Why can’t you invite twin witches to a party? You can never tell witch witch is witch!
174.. What do you call two witches sharing an apartment? Broommates.
Related: Halloween Trivia
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Kid-Friendly Jokes for Halloween
175. What did Dracula say about his wife? It was love at first bite.
176. What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost? “You sure are boo-tiful!”
177. Why are mummies good employees? They get wrapped up in their work.
178. What did Frankenstein say when he woke up from his nap? I had a shocking dream!
179. Why did the baby ghost cry? He missed his mummy.
180. What is a monster’s favorite game? Hide and shriek.
181. Why did Cyclops give up teaching? He only had one pupil.
182. How do you make a skeleton laugh? You tickle his funny bone!
183. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
184. What happened to the cannibal who was late to dinner? gave him the cold shoulder.
185. What do you call an observant wolf? Awarewolf.
186. What does a skeleton say before eating? Bone appetit!
187. Where can a monster get a tattoo? At Monster’s Ink.
188. Why is Christmas a mummy’s favorite holiday? He gets to do all the wrapping.
189. Why was the candy corn booed off the stage? All of his jokes were too corny!
190. What do witches eat for lunch? Sand-witches.
191. Why don’t vampires eat a lot of Halloween candy? They’re afraid of tooth decay.
192. How does a witch know the best time to go trick or treating? She checks her witch watch.
193. What is a ghost’s favorite drink? Mountain Boo.
194. Do zombies eat burgers with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately.
195. What did the bat say to the other bat? Want to hang out?
196. What’s a mummy’s favorite type of music? Wrap.
197. How do vampires like movie stars? Medium rare.
198. What’s a skeleton’s favorite song? “Bad to the Bone.”
199. What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween? Candy corneas.
200. What types of TVs are in haunted houses? Wide scream TVs.
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