8 Obvious and Unexpected Characteristics of a 'Reserved Personality Type,' According to Psychologists

A true queen (it’s Britney) once said, “There are only two types of people in the world. The ones that entertain and the ones that observe.” 

Reserved personality types are often just fine in the backseat—at least at first. And being reserved isn’t a flaw—some characteristics can help cultivate deeper relationships and conversations. Understanding typical characteristics of reserved personality types can help others avoid mislabeling them as “aloof” and creating spaces in which they feel comfortable opening up on their terms.

Psychologists share what it means to be a reserved person, obvious and unexpected traits of reserved people, how a person develops this personality and ways to build a positive relationship with them.

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What Does It Mean To Be a Reserved Person?

“A reserved personality type is a person who is often shy and reticent,” says Dr. Brian Tierney, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist known as The Somatic Doctor. “At the extreme, a reserved personality can exhibit a pervasive avoidance of potentially uncomfortable situations.”

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Why Are Some People Reserved?

The reasons are as unique as humankind. 

“A reserved personality type can be influenced by a combination of genetic, environmental and psychological factors,” explains Dr. Michael Roeske, Psy.D., the senior director of the Newport Healthcare Center for Research and Innovation.

Dr. Roeske says these factors can include:

• Being born a natural introvert
• Growing up independently or self-reliant
• Previous experiences with social rejection
• Childhood events, such as experiencing a traumatic situation 
• Social anxiety

“It’s important to remember cultural factors may also be at play, as some cultures see being reserved as respectful and polite,” Dr. Roeske says.

Also important?

“Being reserved isn’t good or bad,” Dr. Roeske explains. “It’s just part of someone’s overall personality, and it doesn’t mean they are unfriendly or don’t crave social contact.”

If that surprises you, read on while sitting.

Related: 10 Signs of Low Self-Esteem, and What To Do Instead, According to Psychologists

3 Obvious Signs of Reserved Personality Types

1. Prefers small groups or solitude 

Three’s a party for reserved personality types, who may also crave more alone time than their extroverted peers.

“These individuals find comfort in quieter environments for deeper connections,” says Dr. Joel Frank, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist with Duality Psychological Services.

2. Speak less

Dr. Frank says reserved types aren’t the loudest voices in the room and may not do much talking at all.

“They tend to speak less and listen more, exhibiting thoughtful communication and a calming presence,” he explains. “While they may take longer to engage in conversations, this, many times, reflects their desire for meaningful interactions rather than superficial ones.”

3. Risk aversion 

Dr. Tierney says reserved personality types might be more conservative with risk-taking. Just as they listen (a lot) before they talk, they’re more likely to let others be the guinea pigs in adventurous activities, like zip-lining or skydiving. According to Dr. Tierney, this trait can start developing in childhood.

“Children need to be supported in the adventure of life, and if parents are neglectful, overbearing or excessively…tentative, a person will often lack the support required to take risks in the adventure of life,” he says.

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5 Surprising Characteristics of Reserved Personality Types

1. Chattier than you think

Reserved personality types often get labeled as “shy” and “introverted.” However, they can have an inner extrovert who comes out in the right situation.

“They may actually be more extroverted and outgoing after they truly get to know others,” says Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa, Ph.D., a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor.

Dr. Roeske explains this can especially be the case in one-on-one settings, saying, “Get them alone, and you will typically find a seemingly different person.”

Related: People Who Felt Constantly Overlooked as Children Usually Develop These 13 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say

2. Strong empathy skills

A reserved person may appear so calm that they seem emotionless. However, Dr. Frank says they often have a high emotional IQ.

“They also often exhibit strong empathy skills, listening attentively and understanding others’ emotions, which can help them form meaningful connections,” he explains.

In fact, their deeply empathetic nature is often behind getting mislabeled “shy.”

“They tend to be very careful about what they say…which is really just them taking their time to understand and process experiences,” Dr. Lira de la Rosa says.

Related: 16 Things People With High Emotional Intelligence Often Say, According to Psychologists

3. Creativity

Reserved types generally talk less but have other ways to express themselves (that they might not tell anyone about).

“Despite their quiet nature, they frequently richly express their inner worlds through art and writing, and their reflective tendencies can lead to significant artistic insights,” Dr. Frank says.

4. Trustworthy friends

Reserved types may not be the life of the party, and they may not be considered “popular.” However, they make fantastic friends.   

“Reserved personalities prioritize authenticity and trust in friendships, focusing on nurturing deep, lasting relationships rather than seeking superficial interactions,” Dr. Frank says. 

5. Harmful behaviors

Sometimes, it’s possible to be too guarded. 

“A reserved person must keep their urges toward adventure bound up and packed away,” Dr. Tierney says. “This can lead to some behaviors, such as food bingeing, alcoholic benders, rage attacks and periodic risky or extreme behavior.”

Related: People Who Were Told They Were ‘Too Sensitive’ as Children Usually Develop These 14 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say

How To Make a Reserved Personality Type Feel Comfortable

1. Give them space

Reserved types may need time and space before they feel comfortable opening up.

“Avoid pressuring them into sharing their thoughts or feelings immediately. Instead, create a welcoming environment by being patient and understanding,” Dr. Frank says. “For example, invite them to join small, relaxed gatherings rather than large, overwhelming social events where they might feel out of place.”

2. Listen actively

Should the reserved person choose to share thoughts, make it a positive experience with active listening. 

“Show them that you value their input by maintaining eye contact, nodding in agreement and asking thoughtful questions.,” Dr. Frank says. “This not only encourages them to share more but also fosters a deeper connection based on trust and respect for their perspectives.”

3. Appreciate them for who they are

Isn’t that what we all want?

“Acknowledge and celebrate the unique strengths of a reserved person, such as their ability to listen, their creativity or their thoughtful insights,” Dr. Frank says. “Offering genuine compliments and recognition for these qualities can boost their confidence and reinforce the value they bring to your relationship. For example, if they provide insightful advice, express gratitude for their input.”

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Expert Sources

• Dr. Brian Tierney, Ph.D, a licensed psychologist known as The Somatic Doctor
• Dr. Michael Roeske, Psy.D., the senior director of the Newport Healthcare Center for Research and Innovation
• Dr. Joel Frank, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist with Duality Psychological Services
• Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa, Ph.D., a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor