Even the most well-meaning parents make mistakes while raising kids. From saying the wrong thing during a meltdown to yelling to get their attention to accidentally embarrassing them in front of their friends, we’ve all been there. Moms and dads might even be on the same page about prioritizing certain activities or habits, without realizing that there are potential negative consequences they hadn’t considered.
Fortunately, there are parenting experts we can follow on social media or listen to on podcasts who share research-backed insights that we might not otherwise stumble upon—like confidence-boosting phrases to use, how to help “deeply feeling” kids, helpful house rules for families to adopt—we could go on and on.
For example, parent coach Kristin Gallant and licensed therapist Deena Margolin of “Big Little Feelings” have plenty of genius parenting hacks and tips they share with their audience (their Instagram platform alone has 3.5M followers), including how to handle challenging toddler behaviors, tricks for easier potty training, how to master emotional regulation and more.
And now, Gallant is telling Parade all about a very common habit that can actually “backfire” in families. Find out what it is, why it can be problematic for kids’ development and what to do instead.
Related: 10 Things Every Kid Needs To Hear From Their Parents and Grandparents, Child Psychologists Say
This Common Habit Can ‘Backfire’ in Families
The common habit in question? Overscheduling.
“We get it, parents want to give kids every opportunity—but overscheduling can backfire,” Gallant tells Parade. “Kids need downtime for healthy brain development. When every afternoon and weekend is filled, their stress hormones spike, sleep suffers and behavior struggles follow.”
Instead, parents and grandparents may want to embrace giving kids and grandkids more unstructured time to just “be.”
“Free play is not ‘wasted time,'” she explains. “It’s when creativity, problem-solving and self-regulation actually build.”
Related: The Genius Trick for Easier Mornings With Kids: ‘It Changes Everything’
Busy vs. Overscheduled
It’s important to point out that there’s a difference between overscheduling and simply being busy. Gallant breaks it down:
- “A busy family: Lots going on, but kids still have unstructured time to rest and reset.
- An overscheduled family: No breathing room. Every moment is structured, and kids (and parents!) feel like they’re sprinting through life without recovery.”
She adds, “Busy can be joyful. Overscheduled leads to burnout.”
Related: The Surprising Phrase You Should Stop Saying to Your Child or Grandchild—and What To Say Instead
How To Avoid Overscheduling
It might feel impossible, but there are ways to avoid overscheduling within your family dynamic. Gallant suggests the following helpful tips:
- “Start with one activity per child per season.
- Look at your whole family calendar, do you still have regular family dinners? Nights at home? Lazy Saturday mornings? Protect those like gold.
- Remember: kids don’t need to try everything at once. Childhood is long.”
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Related: 4 Phrases Parents and Grandparents Should Avoid Using Right After School—and Why
Source:
Courtesy Alex Stone Photography
- Kristin Gallant, parent coach with “Big Little Feelings.” With a background in international affairs and a concentration in maternal and child education, Kristin is a vocal mental health advocate whose mom-of-three realness shows you how to make that expert advice work in your home.
