A Super Bowl guide for Swifties and other football newbies | Canada Voices

It’s Super Bowl Sunday, but for hard-core Swifties (and hard-core conspiracy theorists), football is a side plot: an essential backdrop, but secondary to the real action. That will be happening in the stands (read: VIP suites), and later on the field, where a postvictory proposal could be both the culmination of the greatest love story ever told and also proof that Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are CIA operatives. Or something like that.

So what should Swifties be looking out for on game day? Is there any chance of an awkward run-in between Swift and Donald Trump? And where can you place bets on all things Swelce? We have the essential Swiftie Guide to the Super Bowl.

I love Taylor, but I’m less keen on watching a bunch of dudes throw a ball around a field for three hours. Why should I tune it?

It’s true: As far as three-plus hour productions go, this is no Eras Tour. But for a lot of Swifties, watching said dudes has become part of their pledge of Tay-llegiance. How else to explain the rise in female football fandom over the past 18 months? Super Bowl 2024 drew a record 123.7 million viewers in the U.S. based largely on a 24-per-cent jump in women between 18 and 24. Ad sales for this year’s game have reached a record price tag based, at least partly, on this demographic expansion, which is known as “the Taylor Swift effect.”

I could tell you that Super Bowl LIX will be an expression of athletic excellence, but perhaps more compelling to know is that Kelce has called this the most important game of his life. This is likely because a win would make KC the first team in NFL history to score three consecutive Super Bowl victories (the last great American dynasty?), but also possibly because a certain someone will be playing with an engagement ring in his pocket (now there’s a good reason to keep an eye on the field).

How are we so certain that Swift is going to be there?

She made it to Super Bowl LVIII and that was straight off an Eras performance in Tokyo, so her presence has been widely presumed. And now Travis’s brother, Jason Kelce, has confirmed it: “I think everybody’s coming,” he told People magazine before naming Swift specifically. So, yes, she’ll be there.

But who is everybody? Last year Swift’s squad included Ice Spice and Blake Lively, who is currently embroiled in multiple lawsuits. It’s conceivable that Lively and her Canadian hubby, Ryan Reynolds, would attend the Super Bowl as a flex, but unlikely that Swift wants to invite that kind of Hollywood drama. Model Gigi Hadid is a close pal and fellow football lover, but she’s with Bradley Cooper, who has said he would rather see the Philadelphia Eagles win the Super Bowl than win an Oscar himself, so …

There was a lot of talk about how Swift and Olivia Rodrigo were getting chummy at last weekend’s Grammy Awards, so maybe an invite was extended at the after-parties. WNBA star Caitlin Clark (who appeared with Swift at a KC game earlier in the season) would be an interesting seatmate – a sly expression of feminism in a temple of patriarchy is exactly the kind of subtext Swift is famous for – but, again, a long shot. If it’s a sure thing you’re after, place bets on the only woman more obsessed with the Kelce bros than Swift: Mama Donna Kelce.

Are people actually betting on these things?

Wagers on aspects of the game unrelated to what’s happening on the field are known as proposition bets, or “props.” For example, how long will the national anthem last, or which quarterback will the Fox News cameras pan to first? When Taylor enters the chat a range of options opens up: outfits, entourage, what she will drink (and whether she will chug it). Like all props, these bets are illegal on U.S. sportsbooks sites, but Ontario (the “Wild West of sportsbook regulations,” according to The New York Times) is a haven for Swift-happy gamblers. FanDuel Canada, to name one site, is currently taking bets on whether Kelce will propose.

Will he?

Probably not. That seems to be the general consensus among not only bookies but also Swifties and,supposedly, Taylor herself (an unnamed source told a British tabloid the singer does not want to be the centre of attention). Of course, it’s easy to get wrapped up in the poetry of it all: a real life You Belong With Me meets Love Story narrative where the girl in the bleachers gets to (baby just) say yes.

What’s really interesting is the way that the proposal rumours play into various Swift and Kelce conspiracy theories: that the relationship was cooked up by league brass to boost ratings, or that Swift is a CIA psy-op, whose involvement with an NFL golden boy is a way to deliver Middle America to the Democrats. (If that’s the case, we may have found the one thing she’s not good at.)

Has Swift been good for Kelce’s career?

If you want to get into the football nitty-gritty, apparently certain stats have been in decline, but like the singer herself, Swifties prefer the grand, romantic narrative. In terms of his profile off the field, Kelce hosted Saturday Night Live after the KC Super Bowl win in 2023, which was pre-Swelce. But that was just run-of-the-mill famous versus most-famous-people-on-the-planet famous. When he does retire, Kelce will be able to do whatever he wants for the rest of his life – both because he’s a charming, talented, stupidly wealthy white man and because, well, #Tayvoodoo.

Trump has announced he will attend the Super Bowl. Could that get awkward?

You mean because Swift, a private citizen, wrote a considered and informed explanation of why she was supporting Kamala Harris while encouraging her fans to do their own research and vote accordingly, and then Trump, a presidential candidate, responded by posting, “I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT,” on Truth Social?

It’s true Trump will be the first sitting president to attend football’s annual prom night, but a Swift/POTUS run-in is easily avoidable. Still, their presence under the same Super Dome makes everything feel that much more political. Expect clashes between fans in MAGA hats and fans in friendship bracelets.

Speaking of outfits …

This is really the biggest question of all. Fans have noted that the skirt Swift wore to the AFC Conference Championship looked a lot like the skirt she wore to the same playoff game last season. So perhaps superstition will play into her sartorial strategy; certainly, KC red will be part of it. There is also a lot of chatter around some kind of snake representation to flick at the long rumoured release of Reputation, Taylor’s Version.

Could Swift perform at the Super Bowl?

If you mean will she join Kendrick Lamar during his halftime show, the answer is no. This is the Super Bowl, not karaoke night. It’s not like you chug a couple of brewskis with Mama K and suddenly wind up on stage. Besides, Swift is there to cheer for her man, and/or influence the fate of the free world. Regardless, it will be a performance.

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