Fight boredom and misinformation by joining at a 99.999% discount on my billion-dollar seats!

Sometimes I surprise myself.

Amazing, completely original ideas just pop into my head … often as I am in what I call Prime Innovation Zone, creating great works of art such as that in the adjacent photo. (Thank you to my professional artist friend April Matheson for turning it into suitably sized wall art as shown below.)

This morning’s new idea is a doozy!

I was simultaneously doodling and noodling this morning about how oodles of cash would dramatically improve the reach of our facts/logic-focused news platform at BIG Media.

Then it hit me like a right cross from Mike Tyson.

I could assemble a team of people who are in good financial position and are fed up with the current state of the news industry.

So, I am recruiting people who want to fight for accuracy and integrity in the news realm and who can afford to commit substantial funds to my journalistic war chest.

These people have observed how complacency in the western world has allowed a lot of bad actors to weaponize the gullible folks quietly going about their lives with nary a critical thought about the grossly inaccurate news they are consuming (Really nice people are a really big problem).

My recruits will enlist to fight alongside me in my War Against Really Nice People (My war against really nice people – Part 2).

These brave warriors will make a meaningful financial sacrifice in order to join my tactical leadership group, the Bored of Peace.

Members of my Bored of Peace can be from any nation; you just need to be tired of watching a complacent populace lulled to sleep by the incompetence of my news media rivals and their “trusted experts”.

Based on analysis from dozens of seconds of research, I could easily charge $1 billion per seat on the Bored of Peace.

However, THIS WEEKEND you can join my Bored of Peace at a 99.999% discount.

Yes, that’s RIGHT – you could be a member of my exclusive and remarkably prestigious Bored of Peace for just $10,000.

Your financial contribution will go directly to funding of my war effort versus really nice people. We will capture these people’s attention and force them to think critically about the most important matters.

Some of the tactics that we will use on our captive audience (I have consulted top legal experts and none of these actions constitutes a violation of any article of the Geneva Convention):

Sleep deprivation: Reading articles that explain fundamental principles behind climate change and other matters related to environmental science will keep captives awake until they finally realize that the world is not burning and that climate alarmism is counterproductive. Once they admit these obvious truths, the captives will be permitted to sleep well at night.

Sensory overload: Our captives have been kept in the dark for many years, so even a modest amount of enlightenment will constitute a major blow to their senses. Initial exposure to accurate information will be extremely uncomfortable for our captives, but it must happen if we are to achieve the objectives of the Bored of Peace.

Water-bored: Exposing our subjugated subjects to a torrent of facts and logic regarding such things as sea level rise and microplastics in the ocean (Trash talk: are microplastics truly the horror story we are being told?) will help them realize that they have been drowning in a sea of deceit, and that the only way to keep their heads above water is to follow us as we spit the truth.

Execution: After being subjected to our electrifying coverage – including about sometimes lethal injections (Detailed analysis of 2021 death data reveals disturbing trends) – our captives will beheading to our news platform regularly as we execute our plan to become a global powerhouse of editorial excellence.

(Rob Driscoll, BIG Media Ltd., 2026)