From Nara Smith to Ballerina Farm, Mormon trad wives are cashing in on their messy, not-so-secret lives | Canada Voices

The term “trad wife” has become common speak, and not just for those with the good taste of a reality television connoisseur (ahem, like me) or those who simply spend too much time online.

These women, who practise traditional gender roles within their marriages (i.e. don’t have a job outside of the home so they can cook, clean and care-take), have taken the internet by storm. There’s Nara Smith (who makes everything – from bubblegum to waffles – from scratch) and Hannah Neeleman (a.k.a. Ballerina Farm). And then there are the reality stars such as the women featured on Disney+’s The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives and Bravo’s The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. You know it’s a moment when Saturday Night Live parodies the trend, with cast member Heidi Gardner recently playing Gretchen Adler, a TikTok star who makes cooking videos.

Other than being mothers and wives with seemingly endless time on their hands, these women currently sharing the spotlight are all Mormon, naturally drawing a connection between their faith and the role of the trad wife (trad, if you haven’t guessed, is short for “traditional.”)

At first glance, each woman displays a religiously-tuned image of submission, service and modesty – while profiting off of it. And while these shows are pinned on the virtues of their religion, it’s not flawless and holy behaviour driving their success, but the messiness of their real lives.

Consider The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, which follows a group of popular influencers whose reputation as squeaky-clean moms posting “MomTok” videos to TikTok imploded when it was revealed they were all involved in a swinging scandal (with each other’s husbands). As Mormon wife Mayci Neeley, says on the show, “Once the controversy blew up, no one really knew what MomTok stood for anymore – like are we a bunch of swingers or are we just a bunch of women fighting the patriarchy?”

The show, after only three days of streaming, became the most watched unscripted season premiere on Hulu this year so far, according to The Wrap, and it’s already been renewed for a second season. This might be thanks to its exploration of what these women really stand for: Yes, they’re Mormon, but no, they’re not perfect, and it’s on full display. In eight episodes, we see the women tackle everything from sex addiction to alcohol use to infidelity to pregnancies out of wedlock – all of which are frowned upon in the Mormon church.

Arguably, all that drama is more relatable. MomTok’s previous image, of wives who manage to look pristine while cooking for the family, cleaning the house and rearing their children, was not.

But while the general public is transfixed, the church isn’t. In a statement on their website, they said, “A number of recent productions depict lifestyles and practices blatantly inconsistent with the teachings of the Church.”

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, which features a Mormon woman who drinks and has her own tequila line, and two others who’ve criticized the church, outing their allegedly abusive experiences inside it. For instance, Heather Gay, who wrote the 2023 best-selling memoir titled, of course, Bad Mormon, that touches on how she was made to feel like a “servant” to men in the church as a girl and was frowned upon for her divorce. And when it comes to Neeleman, a recent New York Times profile suggested this mother and wife has long been living a life she didn’t entirely choose, with a seemingly very controlling husband.

Sure, it’s not good publicity for the church. But it’s making these women big bucks and garnering them even bigger audiences. Smith’s and Neeleman’s TikTok follower counts keeps growing, with each of them currently sitting around the 10-million mark.

We’re captivated because we’re getting a peek behind the Mormon curtain and it’s dishing up the unexpected, for viewers like me, and possibly for an upcoming generation of Mormons, changing the way they view their religion.

The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives executive producer Jeff Jenkins recently said in a Vanity Fair interview, “We have beautiful young women who are at inflection points in their lives. They’re very likeable, really fun to watch, really extroverted, really brave. Then there’s this whole other piece that the ladies are bumping up against, which is their faith. That’s an immovable force. So how do I, as a young person, invite that into my life without perpetuating misogyny and without passing down trauma to my kids?”

He adds: “Although this show is marketed to women, the primary audience who will enact these life scripts they see on television are teen Mormon girls and boys as they navigate what their religion means to them.”

And here we are, glued to our seats, making these women more popular than ever. Clearly we like seeing the blemishes, the mistakes, the “sins.” Not only is it more real, but it makes these people more three-dimensional and, in my view, worthy.