Involving kids in the prep work for outdoor winter activities will mean less stress for both them and parents.Bao Menglong
One of my funniest “now I am 10 years removed from the situation I can laugh about it” memories involves, as so many of my regrettable parenting moments do, a genius hack I nicked off Pinterest. The idea was to put water and food colouring into spray bottles and let your kids “spray paint” the snow. “Great!” I thought. “Let’s do it!”
It felt like it took four sweaty hours to persuade my then six- and three-year-olds to turn off Paw Patrol and wrestle them into their winter wear. Three and a half seconds after chucking them into the backyard, I heard shrieks ringing from the yard. Everything – the dogs, the side of the house, the children, my dove grey coat – everything except the snow had been sprayed and was now covered in an every-colour-mixed-together reddish-brown hue. It looked like a rusty bloodbath.
And it was starting to freeze.
In that moment, I was not the best mom I could have been. I screamed. They cried. We all went back inside. The tears lasted longer than the outdoor “fun” did. It wasn’t their fault. And as much as I would like to blame whoever posted the idea online, it wasn’t their fault either. In the decade I’ve had to reflect on it, there are definitely things I could have done differently.
I talked to some experts in the field about how to motivate kids to get outside and excited for winter activities. These tips can apply to whatever it is you have planned, be it skiing, snowboarding, skating, sledding or building a snowman.
To start, we could have avoided the snowsuit battle that set the mood for the rest of the day. Alyson Schafer, a family counsellor, author and internationally acclaimed parenting expert, recommends a method called Take time for training (TTFT). “Kids like to be independent. They would prefer to do things on their own,” she says. We can equip them by teaching the needed skills in chunks, by taking a few minutes (when you are not in a rush to get anywhere) every day over the course of a month or two to master zippers or tying up boots.
Ann Douglas, a parenting expert and creator of the Mother of All book series, is a fan of simple systems for keeping things organized. “If part of the battle involves having to track down a missing hat or pair of gloves, have a simple system in place for storing everyone’s outdoor gear,” she says. She encourages kids to be part of the problem solving. “Kids are more likely to buy into a particular solution if it is one of their own creation. Besides, kids are great at coming up with one-of-a-kind solutions that would never occur to the rest of us non-kids.”
When I saw the disaster outside, I yanked my kids back in. A better solution would have been to get out there with them and let them continue playing, even if I thought the coloured water was making things bone-chillingly cold. “We seem to think kids are very fragile and we don’t see them as being very robust. We worry about them getting colds and we worry about them being uncomfortable.” says Schafer. “We have this attitude that we think our kids can’t manage, and they’re not as robust as they truly are.” If kids get the message that they aren’t able to withstand the cold, they might eventually start avoiding outdoor activities.
Most importantly, Douglas advises gentleness. “Remind yourself that it’s hard to be a parent – and it’s hard to be a kid. Patience and empathy can take you a long way as a parent,” she says. “It’s also important to bear in mind that this is a tough time of year for a lot of people, kids included. The holidays are but a distant memory and spring seems so far off. So be kind to yourself and your kids.”
