After a serious health diagnosis, Jen Singhal explored her family history and its traumas, inspiring her to create a healthier future for herself and her children.Getty Images
In May of 2021, a routine check-up turned Jen Singhal’s life upside down.
She was diagnosed with a chronic, incurable, progressive illness and given two options: keep living the way she was or make different choices that would hopefully create better health outcomes.
Since then, Ms. Singhal has restructured her life by adopting a lifestyle that promotes healing, switching to a more flexible and fulfilling career and embracing a balanced approach that benefits her entire family.
In this series, Reimagining Wealth, we explore the evolving definition of wealth in today’s world. Here, we talk to Ms. Singhal about how her health diagnosis changed the trajectory of her life and helped her better understand what it means to be well.
Tell me about your health diagnosis
I was working in a senior leadership role with a hypergrowth tech company and had been there for a long time through its startup phases. It was intense work with long hours, but I loved it. On the other hand, I was overweight, and my mood oscillated from bubbly and upbeat to down and irritable. I had chronic migraines, joint pain and skin issues, but I just kept moving forward. Every day I woke up propelled by adrenaline and cortisol and was able to ignore my body’s signals. Interestingly, if you’d asked me at that time if I was healthy, I would have sworn up and down that I was so sure I was really, really healthy.
I was diagnosed with hidradenitis suppurativa (HS). It’s an autoinflammatory condition that causes skin lesions, severe fatigue and chronic pain and is implicated in a number of comorbidities, including metabolic disorders, which I have as well.
How did it catalyze change in your life?
Receiving the diagnosis from my doctor was earth-shattering. I had to decide if I was willing to change my life or not. I made the decision to take my health as seriously as I took building my career and put that same amount of energy and attention toward getting my health back on track. Through this process, I discovered a whole other subset of life that I hadn’t really been investing in up until then.
You mentioned you’ve also been healing generational trauma. What has that been like?
When I was investigating the aspects of my life that led me to discover I had an illness, I also began to consider my family history. I grew up in a family that prioritized achievement and success, I think as a measure to de-risk our lives and create stability.
I was raised by a single mother who drove [us] to pick lucrative careers for safety. When I look back even further, my grandparents and great-grandparents survived wars and the Great Depression. While this isn’t necessarily unusual, and I am so grateful for my family and honour the fact that they had to struggle, I was operating from a place of survival mode and had a scarcity mindset that wasn’t needed any more.
Jen Singhal, pictured here in Whistler, B.C., says she makes sure to spend ample time in nature.Supplied
How are you doing things differently?
My partner and I have the privilege to choose a different approach to family life and parenting. We want our kids’ basic needs to be met, but it’s just as important to us that they’re able to self-regulate, enjoy activities and interests that aren’t linked to earning income, and prioritize their health.
We have a set of family values and the top one is rest. We’ve put expectations into place around getting good quality sleep, not pushing through fatigue and listening to your body; right alongside our expectation to go to school to learn to read and do math.
We’re breaking a cycle and hopefully creating a model that doesn’t make our children feel like they must achieve at all costs. I think, if we could go back to talk to generations that are not with us any more, they would be happy to see that we can now try to live with more ease, peace and joy.
What makes you happy these days?
Picking my kids up from school. Pre-2021 it felt like a chore or another stressor, but now it’s maybe my favourite thing. I look forward to seeing them happily playing with their friends on the playground, and now I have more time to socialize with the other parents. I’ve become a part of a community that I can lean on if I need support, and that makes life feel easier and richer.
My career also brings me joy. I do fractional legal work to ensure [our finances] are covered, then pour myself into my work consulting with social ventures to help them grow. Although there are uncertainties that come with working as a consultant, I get to create a schedule that supports my lifestyle, pick projects that interest me and be a lot more creative.
What would you say to people looking to make a big lifestyle change like you did?
I genuinely hope that other people don’t have to get a health diagnosis to start making changes that lead to more fulfilled, abundant, wealthier lives in the broadest sense of the term.
These changes don’t happen overnight, and they can be done incrementally as you test out what really works for you. I believe that anyone can begin to find balance in their existing lifestyle and get to a happier place without changing everything about what they are doing.
It can be scary and challenging, but the risk is totally worth it.
