Let me tell you a story about a monster.
This monster is malformed. Twisted. Evil. It drains life from its prey—not physically, but emotionally, relationally and spiritually. It breeds anxiety and isolation, gnaws at self-worth. Its hunger never slackens, always seeking another victim to drag into its hellish mire of corruptive despair.
But here’s the thing: This monster doesn’t look all that monstrous, at least from a certain point of view. Sure, those who remember first seeing this monster might recall an initial distress, a sense of wrongness. And yet, there also exists a strange appeal. Many seek out the monster; the more they see it, the less bad it seems.
“You must come back,” the monster says. “It’s only natural. I will give you everything that you need.”
Even those who now recognize the monster’s wickedness are drawn back to its lair despite themselves. They return again and again, promising themselves and others that this time will be the last. But it never is.
“You must come back,” the monster says. “What would people say if they knew? Stay in the dark, and it will be our little secret.”
So the people come—young and old. The monster feeds and grows, destroying lives and warping the minds of those in its grasp, ever seeking to bring more victims under its thrall …
Sounds like something out of a horror movie, right? But unfortunately, this monster isn’t regulated to the world of fiction. It is very real.
The monster’s name, of course, is pornography.
The Problem of Pornography
Porn use has become an epidemic in our modern era, spreading like wildfire across the kindling of a perpetually online world. Access to pornography has never been easier. But porn isn’t a problem exclusive to adults.
With more access to technology and bad actors peddling explicit content on perceived “safe sites,” those who are exposed keep getting younger. According to a 2022 study by Common Sense Media, the average age of exposure to pornography is 12 years old. Porn is damaging enough to individuals who have finished developing. But for those who are still in crucial stages of physical and cognitive development, it can lead to serious consequences throughout their lives.
Here’s how pornography is having a negative effect on affecting kids, tweens and teens today, as well as some safeguards and solutions we can use to protect the children in our lives.
How Porn Affects …
Kids
The early years are crucial for a child’s development. As some studies have indicated, young children may feel confusion and/or guilt over the explicit sexual content they witnessed, which can lead to a deep-seated uncertainty as they grow and consider what their own sexual experience may look like. Other children may have a sense of curiosity or attraction to such images, even if they’re not quite sure why.
In certain cases, problematic sexual behaviors can arise. Kids may process their experiences by mimicking what they have seen in pornography, which can lead to further harm to themselves and others.
Tweens
The negative effects of pornography are no less serious in tweens. When exposed to pornography, young children can experience a variety of troubling effects, such as anxiety and a lower sense of self-esteem.
Research indicates that intentional exposure to porn correlates with symptoms of depression in youth. Another study found that children experiencing depression and anxiety were more apt to use pornography compulsively.
You can see how a damaging cycle could form in these instances: A young porn user grows more depressed by his or her use, which leads them back to pornography as a coping mechanism causing worsening depression, and so on.
Teens
Porn’s correlation with depression and loneliness continues in the teenage years as well, and research indicates that frequent use of it is linked to a higher risk of suicide.
Use of pornography also leads to a distorted view of sexual intimacy. Though 45% of teens felt that porn gave them “helpful” information about sex, according to a Common Sense Media report, this couldn’t be farther from the truth. Pornography separates sexual intimacy from its God-given marital context, an influence that can lead those suffering from pornography addiction toward risky sexual behaviors.
Additionally, sexually explicit images frequently depict violent acts in a sexual context. This leads to the perception that these things are natural and even expected, which can perpetuate sexual aggression and violence in relationships. And many users will gradually move in this direction, engaging in more and more extreme visual content as they become desensitized and no longer experience arousal from less explicit imagery.
How to Combat the Influence of Porn in Your Home
It’s important to acknowledge the strong pull that pornography can have. Sexual intimacy is, after all, rooted in a natural desire that God has given us, realized fully and exclusively in marriage. But pornography—and, more broadly, the sin of lust—tells us that our own sexual gratification is the end goal, rather than a good gift that is part of God’s greater plan for our lives. As Benjamin Franklin said, “Half a truth is often a great lie.”
But we do not fight a losing battle!
There are ways that you can protect your kids from the dangers of porn—even if, like many of their peers today, they have already had some exposure. We’ve touched on some of these suggestions before, but they bear repeating.
First, keep the lines of communication between you and your child open. As a parent, be that safe space for your child to come to you with any issues they might have, even uncomfortable and embarrassing ones. If your child has been exposed to pornography, it will make a huge difference if they feel they can come to you immediately rather than struggling with it themselves. And recognize that dealing with the aftermath of such exposure is likely going to require an ongoing conversation, not just a one-time discussion.
Second, be conscientious about phones and other internet-connected devices for your child. There are various recommendations as to when you should give your kid a phone. A lot of that will depend on your son or daughter’s personality. But consider the advice of Dr. Danny Huerta, Vice President of Parenting & Youth at Focus on the Family: “When we give our children a portable electronic window into everything the world has to offer, our parenting challenges potentially increase, not decrease.”
Finally, consider some safeguards for the devices you and your family use. There are many different options for monitoring software available, such as Canopy or Covenant Eyes, that could prove useful. And whatever you choose to do for your kids, implement those protections for yourself as well. Few things will be as impactful for your kids than seeing you hold yourself accountable as well.
Overcoming the Porn Problem
Pornography is a huge problem for children and adults. And, as we’ve seen, it comes with a bevy of dangers and detrimental effects. With the rise of new technologies such as AI, expect the laundry list of potential dangers to grow.
But it’s not insurmountable.
With love, compassion, proactive communication and wise safeguards, families can help their children avoid and overcome the problem of porn, living healthy lives with a proper view of God’s design for sexuality.
