You know her name, you know her voice (“You get a car, and you get a car!”) and you certainly know her legacy as a talk show host, pop culture icon and one of the most influential figures of the past century — but do you know about the love of Oprah Winfrey’s life? For nearly four decades, while she’s shared sage advice, intimate confessions and countless book club recommendations, Winfrey has been sharing her off-camera world with her longtime love Stedman Graham.
The couple’s secret to a successful, decades-spanning relationship — especially when half of the pair just happens to be one of the most famous women on the planet — is maintaining their own identities while supporting their partners. Graham spoke about their relationship during a May 2019 appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. “The thing about our relationship is, I’m dedicated to her happiness, so that’s great for her and I want her to be the best she can possibly be and she’s done a pretty good job of doing that,” he said. “And so for me, I’ve been able to find my own happiness, my own skills, my own talents, my own abilities and I’m satisfied with that. I’m happy with that.”
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As for what Winfrey loves about her “Steddy”? “He’s appropriately named because he’s steady as a mountain. Even-tempered, accountable, trustworthy, patient,” she wrote in a 2020 essay for O, The Oprah Magazine.
With the power couple closing in on an admirable forty years together, let’s walk down memory lane and see how Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham got together in the first place. Here’s everything you need to know about Oprah Winfrey’s longtime relationship with Stedman Graham.
Is Oprah Winfrey married?
No. While Winfrey and Stedman have been together for nearly 40 years, the pair have never actually tied the knot.
Who is Oprah Winfrey’s partner Stedman Graham?
Talk show legend Oprah Winfrey has been in a romantic relationship with Stedman Graham — an American businessman, educator, author and global lecturer — for nearly four decades. The 73-year-old gent served in the U.S. Army and worked as a prison guard in Colorado before pivoting to work in management and public relations consulting. In 1988, Stedman created S. Graham & Associates, a Chicago-based corporate and educational marketing and consulting firm. A former college basketball player, he is also the founder of AAD (formerly Athletes Against Drugs), a Chicago-based non-profit that provides scholarships and other support to underserved youth.
How long have Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham been together?
Oprah has been involved in what she’s called a “spiritual partnership” with Stedman since 1986. They went public with their romance in December 1986, when they attended the premiere of Winfrey’s film Native Son together at the Apollo Theatre in New York City. But you can argue that the real solidification of their relationship, at least in the public eye, came a year later when Stedman made a sweet cameo on The Oprah Winfrey Show in 1987 — he cheekily called into the show to ask his famous girlfriend what she had been saying about him to her best friend, Gayle King.
How did Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham meet?
Winfrey and Graham first met at a charity event in 1986, but romantic sparks didn’t fly immediately. “I had seen a particular man around town, but he was always with the same girlfriend, so I didn’t pay much attention,” Oprah revealed in her O, The Oprah Magazine essay. (At the time, Stedman had been dating another famous Chicago-based news anchor, Robin Ronbinson, from 1982 to 1986.)
“One day, though, we were both visiting a mutual friend who was ill and later died of AIDS. The guy with the girlfriend had come to the friend’s home alone, and so had I,” Oprah wrote. “We left together, and I asked if he wanted to get a beer. (Yes, I drank a lot of beer then and wore cowboy boots every day.) He said he didn’t drink. (Still doesn’t — not one sip of nothin’ alcoholic since I’ve known him.)”
Though she found Stedman “polite, yes, and kind,” Oprah wrote, she initially dismissed him because she thought he was”too handsome” to be interested in her. “Anybody that good-looking driving a vintage Mercedes merited suspicion.” How wrong she was!
Related: 100 Oprah Winfrey Quotes on Strength, Love and Self-Worth That Will Change Your Life
Why haven’t Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham gotten married?
Despite having a relationship lengthier than many Hollywood marriages, Oprah and Stedman have never made it “official,” at least legally, though they were briefly engaged in the early ’90s, but never went through with the nuptials.
As she wrote in O: “For years, there were hundreds of tabloid stories, weekly, on whether we would marry. In 1993, the moment after I said yes to his proposal, I had doubts. I realized I didn’t actually want a marriage. I wanted to be asked. I wanted to know he felt I was worthy of being his missus, but I didn’t want the sacrifices, the compromises, the day-in-day-out commitment required to make a marriage work. My life with the show was my priority, and we both knew it.”
Rather than rely on a mere legal document to keep them together, Oprah has said that it’s because they “share all the values that matter (integrity being number one).”
Was Stedman Graham married before dating Oprah Winfrey?
Yes, prior to his relationship with Oprah, Stedman Graham was married to a woman named Glenda Graham from 1974 until 1980; they share a daughter named Wendy Nicole Graham, who was born in 1975.
Do Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham have kids?
No, Oprah and Stedman never had children, though he does have a daughter from his first marriage. Winfrey addressed her decision to not have kids of her own in a 2019 interview with People, saying that the “depth of responsibility and sacrifice that is actually required to be a mother” was incompatible with her illustrious career.
However, the media mogul has said she doesn’t regret choosing a child-free life, saying that she has plenty of opportunities to mentor and nurture young people through her humanitarian work. She told the outlet: “I have not had one regret about that. I also believe that part of the reason why I don’t have regrets is because I got to fulfill it in the way that was best for me: the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa. Those girls fill that maternal fold that I perhaps would have had. In fact, they overfill — I’m overflowed with maternal.”
Related: Oprah Winfrey ‘Almost Gave’ Gayle King ‘a Heart Attack’ With Birthday Surprise
What is Oprah Winfrey’s net worth?
Per Forbes, Oprah’s current net worth is estimated at a cool $3 billion off the strength of her vast media empire, which includes her iconic talk show, her film company Harpo Productions (which co-produced popular and acclaimed films like The Color Purple and Selma), her namesake magazine and more. As for her longtime partner, Stedman Graham’s net worth is set around $10 million, according to Celebrity Net Worth.
Related: Oprah Winfrey’s Net Worth and How She Earned Her Billionaire Status
