While some kids celebrate the arrival of summer, some might have emotions around saying goodbye to a beloved teacher or not seeing friends every day.Photo illustration by The Globe and Mail/Source: iStock
As the school year draws to a close, many parents expect their children to bounce out of classrooms with nothing but joy – celebrating the arrival of summer, a break from homework and the promise of carefree days ahead. And while many children do feel excitement and relief, this time of year can also be surprisingly emotional, especially for sensitive children or those deeply connected to their teachers, classmates and routines.
In my clinical work with children, I’ve seen how the end of the school year can stir up a wide range of emotions. Some kids are eager to kick off their summer plans, while others are quietly mourning the end of a familiar routine. This transition, though often overlooked, can be a significant emotional event for a child. And like any transition, it brings a mixture of joy, anxiety and sadness.
I have often heard children say they wish school didn’t have to end “just yet.” Some express sadness over leaving a beloved teacher, while others worry about losing touch with friends or feeling lonely over the summer months. It’s a reminder that emotional development doesn’t follow the calendar – it responds to connection, change and continuity.
Here are a few common themes I see in children at this time of year:
- Saying goodbye to a beloved teacher: A strong teacher-student bond can be deeply comforting. When that connection ends, children may experience real grief.
- Losing daily contact with friends: For many kids, school is their social world. The summer break, with its lack of daily interaction, can feel isolating.
- Fear of change: Transitions can be unsettling. Moving up a grade, or to a new school, can prompt worries about the unknown.
- Grief over what’s ending: Children often feel time intensely. A wonderful year can be hard to leave behind, and it’s common for kids to struggle to articulate those feelings.
Sometimes the sadness children feel doesn’t show up as tears – it appears in behaviour. I’ve seen children become more withdrawn, irritable or clingy around the end of the school year. Some regress in behaviour, while others show increased difficulty sleeping or managing big feelings.
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If your child seems “off” in the weeks surrounding the last day of school, they may be struggling with these deeper emotional layers and could benefit from some support.
I’ve developed a number of strategies over the years to help parents support their children’s mental health through transitional periods. These are practical, compassionate approaches that honour their child’s experience and help them build confidence and emotional resilience during times of change.
1. Acknowledge their feelings
Validation is incredibly powerful. When children feel seen and heard, they are better able to process their emotions.
I often encourage parents to say things like: “It sounds like you’re really going to miss your teacher. That makes sense – you two had a strong connection,” or “Saying goodbye to your friends is hard. I understand why you’re feeling sad.”
Avoid rushing into distraction or cheerfulness. Instead, hold space for the sadness. It teaches children that emotions are not problems to fix but experiences to understand.
2. Create rituals of closure
Rituals help children process transitions. In my practice, I suggest small but meaningful ways for kids to say goodbye: writing thank-you notes to teachers, drawing pictures for classmates or creating a memory book of favourite moments. These tangible acts give children a way to honour the year and bring emotional closure.
3. Support connection
If your child is worried about losing touch with friends, help them make a plan. For younger kids, that might mean scheduling a few summer playdates. For older ones, offering supervised ways to stay in touch via messaging or video calls can provide reassurance.
Even the possibility of connection continuing can ease the pain of parting.
4. Maintain gentle structure over the summer
Many children thrive on structure, and in its absence, they can feel disoriented. I often work with families to create a flexible summer rhythm of mealtimes, quiet reading or creative play, and predictable weekly outings. The goal isn’t to mimic the school day, but to offer a reliable sense of order in their world.
5. Look ahead with reassurance and optimism
When your child is ready, talk gently about what’s coming next. I suggest focusing on small, specific positives: “Next year you’ll get to do more science experiments – remember how much you loved those?“ or ”You’re growing up and learning so much. I can’t wait to see what’s ahead for you.”
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Planting hopeful seeds gives kids something to look forward to, even as they’re still holding onto what they’re leaving behind.
The end of the school year is more than a milestone. It’s a turning point, filled with a mix of emotions. When we give children permission to feel sadness alongside joy, we foster emotional resilience and empathy. We teach them that change is not something to fear but something to understand. So let them laugh, let them cry – and most of all, let them know you’re there, walking beside them as they close one chapter and prepare to open the next.
Dr. Jillian Roberts is a research professor of educational psychology at the University of Victoria. She is also a practising registered psychologist in British Columbia, Alberta and the Northwest Territories. She specializes in child and adolescent development, family therapy and inclusive education.
