It’s a question I’ve heard from my kids more than once after they’ve experienced the disappointment of unsuccessful job applications: “Dad, can you help me with my résumé?”
Rejection is tough, especially when you’re doing all the right things and employment prospects don’t turn out despite repeated attempts. It happens in the publishing industry I work in, too: A writer can send a publisher a great query letter that checks all the boxes – great hook, it’s personalized, articulates the genre and word count, lists comparable titles – and not get published; often, they never even hear back. That’s the reality many youth face, with summer fast approaching and employment scarce. It’s tough to explain why they’re not getting hired when they have done everything well – written a cover letter, tailored the résumé to the job, and followed up with the right person.
I know this is not an isolated concern. It’s a struggle that’s showing up in many households. In March, the unemployment rate among youth aged 15-24 was 13.8 per cent, about double the national average (across all age groups) of 6.7 per cent, according to Statistics Canada.
There are several contributing factors, from labour shifts following the COVID-19 pandemic to higher employer expectations and fewer entry-level openings. I remember my first job at a community centre canteen in Winnipeg. It was a straightforward role, and it gave me a little extra spending money. Now, those kinds of starter positions often require prior experience. But how can a teen who has not previously had a job have experience? The first step into work is no longer built for beginners.
What should you say to teens feeling pressured to fit in?
I don’t think it’s an issue of motivation. From what I see, for the most part, teenagers are trying. And just like for new writers trying to break into publishing, it’s hard for young job seekers not to take silence or rejection personally. Of course, as parents, we have to temper expectations, and rejection is a reality of life. But rejection hits different when there hasn’t been a first yes, and repeated failure without feedback can erode confidence.
What can you do when your child is doing everything they can to land some kind of entry-level job, but keeps running into a brick wall? Maybe the answer is to simply encourage persistence while having empathy as they navigate rejection.
You can also step in and offer practical support where appropriate. When your kid asks for help with a résumé, it’s easy to look it over and do some editing. You could suggest places that might be hiring or put them in touch with people in your own network willing to share career advice.
In a tight job market where the rules have changed, how we support youth on the path to employment may have to change, too. Here are a few other ways to do that.
Dads, it’s okay to struggle and ask for help
Normalize the reality
Have a conversation with your teen about how there is more competition and are fewer roles available. In that chat, try to separate the effort they are putting into their job search from the outcome of rejection or silence. In this way, they can maintain realistic expectations while reducing difficult emotions such as self-blame.
Make the process visible
Get involved with the job search without taking away a teen’s agency or independence. Look through postings of potential jobs together, and in so doing, see if you can help them identify requirements they might be missing and need to work on. This is also an opportunity to point out that if they are not successful, it’s more about fit or timing than anything to do with them as a person. This turns discouragement into encouragement, and they’re more likely to keep searching.
Adjust the strategy, not the effort
With publishing, it never really works to send a query and sample writing to a bunch of different publishers, hoping that something will hit. The same is true for a job search. Encourage your teen to target applications to job postings that are a good match for their education, experience and interests; it’s not about volume. You can also suggest little shifts in approach, such as how and when to follow up, or how to prepare for an interview.
Protect confidence during silence
As an overthinker myself, I read into almost everything. I’m hardwired to do it, even though I’ve learned to manage the tendency. For young applicants, not getting a response can be difficult, and acknowledging that difficulty is important so they can avoid over-interpreting rejection. It’s very likely not about them, and you can help by focusing feedback on controllable factors: tweaking the résumé, finding more suitable targets for searches, or working on a cover letter.
Acknowledge small wins
Any sort of progress is a step in the right direction, and sometimes the small things are what you can build on. Nurture a sense of accomplishment in your teen for applying to a job or getting a response (even if it’s not the kind they were looking for), or celebrate the fact they got an interview, whether it led to them getting a job offer or not. Spend time breaking down what went well in the interview and what they might do differently next time. Emphasizing exposure instead of immediate success can go a long way.
Searching for a job, for a teen, may not look the way it used to. The path isn’t as clear, the barriers are a little higher, and the first step isn’t as simple. But they’re still trying to take it. So, maybe our role isn’t only to help them get there, but to make sure they keep going when the road gets rocky.
David A. Robertson is a two-time Governor-General’s Literary Award winner and has won the TD Canadian Children’s Literature Award and the Writers’ Union of Canada Freedom to Read Award. He is a member of Norway House Cree Nation and lives in Winnipeg.
