Kali Rocha Talks Her 'Remarkably Easy' Return to 'Grey's Anatomy'

That’s a wrap for no one’s favorite residency director, Sydney Heron (Kali Rocha) on Grey’s Anatomy, at least for now. Sydney Heron is leaving Grey Sloan after returning for three episodes in Season 21. Bailey (Chandra Wilson) was finally successful in getting her job back from Catherine (Debbie Allen) after saving the latter doctor during a liver biopsy. Of course, Bailey returning to Grey Sloan means that Sydney is out of a job. 

It was obvious that Sydney was disappointed to be leaving. But her final chat with Bailey wasn’t without its heartfelt moments. The two rivals may have finally made peace with each other, even if they won’t be hanging out and watching Real Housewives together any time soon. 

Sydney’s parting gift for Bailey was officially hiring Ben (Jason George) back onto the Grey Sloan staff so that Bailey wouldn’t be accused of nepotism for doing it. Now, Sydney heads out into the world to bring her incessant positivity to another hospital—hopefully one that will appreciate her more. 

Parade caught up with Kali Rocha to talk about Sydney’s return, where that optimism comes from, and whether Sydney might actually be the most tragic character currently on the show (which is saying a lot). 

Related: Everything to Know About Grey’s Anatomy Season 21

What made Season 21 the right time to come back as Sydney Herron? 
It’s very interesting to be asked back. This rarely happens when you do a job as an actor. It’s a bit like running into an ex-partner after 17 years. You know them really well, but you haven’t been around them for 17 years, and now you’re back in their orbit. 

I loved this character. I really knew her and loved her. I really got into that world with the writing and the relationships. But then, for 17 years, she was out of my mind. I never imagined that I’d be going back in to work on her again. It was actually remarkably easy to step back into the character. Meg [Marinis] was a writer’s assistant when I started, so she knows this character better than anyone. Now, obviously, she’s the showrunner, so she and her team totally knew Sydney Heron. The whole thing just sort of came together and felt right. 

What do you think accounts for Sydney’s optimism? Because no one else at Grey Sloan has it. 
It’s obviously individual makeup, person by person. For Sydney, having experienced the trauma of losing a child in her early residency, trauma doesn’t get her down. It might, if she let it. I think she is persistently optimistic to fight the tears that are always right there. I think it’s a choice to be positive and chipper. I had a teacher once say where there is an excess, there is an absence. I think that’s true with Sydney. She’s obviously a little too much for people. I think it’s because she’s fighting the depths of a darkness that are always with her. 

Sydney’s last conversation with Miranda was very bitter but also complimentary. How would you describe Sydney’s feelings about Bailey at this point?
I love Chandra Wilson so much. We can play until the cows come home. We just enjoy each other. Those characters are rivals, but we had a number of different takes with that scene. At times I was on the verge of tears because I’m leaving. At times, I’m really happy for her that I’m leaving. There are different colors that come out. There’s many, many different levels to it in the writing. We got to play with those as actors, because we enjoy the rivalry. But we’re also the last men standing. We’re in the middle of this weird world. We’ve been through so much together and there’s a real connection there as well. 

Is there a world where Sydney and Bailey could be friends?
If we could find a middle ground where she could accept my journey and I could accept hers. I think [Sydney] is very accepting, but I also think Sydney Heron is competitive. There’s something there that hasn’t been met, and I think Bailey triggers that in her. If my character could let go of that and Bailey could let go of her allergic reaction to Sydney, yeah, I think they could be friends. 

What does that promised intern retreat look like in Sydney’s mind?
It’s a lot of Sydney-led meditation. It’s a lot of crystals. It’s a lot of oils rubbed on the temples by Sydney. It’s a lot of inspirational quotes and shared journaling, moderated by Sydney. It’s a lot of her helping people heal with love. It might be too much, but I’ll tell you that, at the end of the retreat, there would be a new understanding of me on every level. 

Related: Grey’s Anatomy Boss Teases Meredith’s Big Deal From the Season 21 Premiere

At the end of the episode, Sydney decides to hire Ben after all. What about his speech in the job interview changed her mind? 
My understanding is that Sydney Heron is ultimately a good person. She’s a damn good doctor and she knows qualifications when she sees it. When she goes into that scene with Ben Warren, she doesn’t want to be seen as supporting nepotism or just giving him the job because he’s Bailey’s husband. Obviously, she has chips on her shoulder about the Shepherds and the way the hospital has worked in the past. She’s insecure, and I think that’s triggered by these different opportunities that others have had. She is resistant to hiring Ben. But at the end of the day, she knows she’s going to do it. In that scene, she’s trying to appear tough. By the end of it, my take is that her inner monologue is like, “I missed it again. I missed it with humanity. There is something about me that people don’t like, and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.” It brings tears to her eyes. She feels really bad about it because, ultimately, she knows she is going to hire him. She knows he’s qualified, but I think she was secretly proud that she has that last bit of authority to tell Bailey, “I did this.” It’s a baton. 

I really wish someone would just give Sydney a hug. She needs it. 
I’ll tell you something interesting. I never wear my own jewelry or effects to work. I assume that all of that stuff will be in my dressing room and I’ll get things like a wedding ring when I get to set. We were about to start the first scene that I was doing, and I was like, “Oh, Bert [the props lead], do I have a wedding ring?” And he says, “Oh gosh, I don’t know.” He went and talked to the producers, all the way up to Meg and came back and said, “No wedding ring.” I remember thinking, “Ah, I love that.” First of all, the whole writing room knew that I would not have one. They made that decision that I would not have a wedding ring. That tells me they thought so much about this character and it syncs up with my take, which is that Sydney is supremely lonely. She’d love to have a partner. She thought she and Derek Shepherd might have a future. She’s looking for love, but it’s all wrong. You’re right. She just wants a hug, and I want someone to give it to her. 

Grey Sloan is obviously not the right fit for Sydney. They’re too depressed and repressing trauma. What do you think her ideal hospital environment would be? 
I think she wants to be at Grey Sloan. I really do. I think she wants to be in that environment. I think she loves those people, but they aren’t ready for her. People with a childlike curiosity and openness as she does, maybe that environment where she feels like people come in open-hearted and not cynical, not tired, maybe that would make her feel good. I want that for her. 

What advice do you have for Sydney as she departs Grey Sloan one more time? 
I would like her to go to therapy. I would like her to work on her core wounds of abandonment and trauma and blame. I think she’s a really good person. I think she really does have a good heart, as we saw with Bailey. At the end of the day, she knows what the right thing is. She’s not so caught up in her own stuff that she can’t do the right thing. I would like her to find love. I would like her to have somebody at home who is there with a glass of white wine and ready to rub her feet by the fire. You see everybody else getting that, you know. I would love for her to feel like she is enough. 

New episodes of Grey’s Anatomy Season 21 air Thursdays at 10 p.m. ET on ABC. Episodes are available to stream the next day on Hulu. 

Next, Grey’s Anatomy Boss Teases ‘Intense’ Season 21 as Catherine Embraces Her Villain Role