If you haven’t heard by now, I’m not thrilled to be the bearer of this news. The latest album from Australian artist Lorde, Virgin, features a (mostly) nude photograph of her genitals in the album-liner slipcover for the vinyl edition. The mostly part is because she’s wearing transparent plastic pants. But … it’s pretty clear what anyone who sees it is looking at. (And, for the record, I’ve only seen pixelated images, though that was enough to verify the story.)
Lorde’s first hit song was “Royals,” waaaayyyy back in 2013. She’s had some minor moments since then. But she certainly hasn’t commanded the internet’s attention in the way this image of her body has. At the most basic level, it’s a sobering reminder that the old adage “sex sells” remains as true here in 2025 as it ever has. Would I be writing a blog today about this now 28-year-old singer had she not published a revealing picture of herself? Doubtful. So … mission accomplished, Lorde. You’re trending again.
But let me arrest my temptation to descend any further into sarcasm, because this story demands a deeper response. And I write today as a father of two teen girls and a teen boy, all of whom my wife and I are trying to help navigate this hypersexualized culture.
Shock and Yawn
As you’d expect in our evermore divided culture, online responses have ranged from shock to a yawn, from disappointment to applause. Some are decrying Lorde’s seeming self-exploitation, while others cheer her high-profile, high-risk commitment to female empowerment (as they interpret that idea, anyway). Still others are asking, “What’s the big deal?”
Anyone who came of age in the ‘80s will remember Madonna’s similar infatuation with nudity and the feathers that she ruffled repeatedly. This is hardly the first time a popular musician—or any other kind of celebrity, for that matter—has used nudity to make some kind of statement about herself.
But the fact that it’s happened before doesn’t make it any less significant for those this story may be affecting today. And if we have teens who are aware of this stunt, what Lorde has done could be an opportunity to talk with them about her decision—and why it’s significant in ways even she may not understand.
Start With Questions
If the subject of Lorde comes up, you might start by asking your teens what they know about this story. What are the people they follow on social media (if they have access to it) saying about it? You might also ask: What do you think about the choice she’s made? Does it change the way you think about her? If so, how? How do you think publishing a revealing image will affect Lorde’s career? Do you think she will experience any negative consequences from it?
Asking questions like these might seem uncomfortable. But as so often happens, the world is already having this conversation, no matter what we think about it. There’s a reasonable chance your teens are talking about this story with their friends, too. And that makes it an important conversation for us, as parents, to step into as well.
Your kids might initially think talking about stuff like this is weird. And frankly, it can be really awkward. But when we engage in the conversation that the culture is having, when we invite our kids to share their thoughts and perspectives, it builds trust with them. And that trust enables us to continue speaking into their lives in this critical area.
Culture’s Understanding of Sexuality Vs. God’s Good Design
These sorts of conversations pave the way for ongoing dialogue about God’s intended purpose for the sexual part of our identity. A full discussion of that topic is beyond the scope of this blog post. But let me say that our kids desperately need us to help shape their conception of the purpose and place of sex in our lives.
Our culture—and especially the entertainment culture—largely communicates two vastly different, but equally troubling, ideas about sex. On one hand, because we’ve largely thrown God out the window in mainstream culture, sex is elevated as the pinnacle of human experience, the most important part of our identity. People are frantically looking for a sense of understanding, meaning and purpose in sexuality, longing for it to give a transcendent experience that makes life bearable.
On the other hand, we also have many voices in our culture that, in the name of being “sex positive,” minimize sexuality’s importance to almost nothing. “It’s not a big deal,” they might say. “It’s like sneezing or any other biological function.” “If it feels good and no one’s getting hurt,” they might say, “go for it.” On that side of the spectrum, the only ethic that matters is consent. And if there’s consent, then there are no other moral considerations whatsoever.
The Christian understanding of sexuality, in contrast to these two extremes, walks a middle ground. Sex isn’t everything, but it’s not nothing. God has given it to us as a gift that reflects our creation in His image as man and woman. And the union of a man and woman can potentially yield the profound reality of a new life being created, as well as bonding a couple in equally profound ways. Thus, sexuality is a good gift to be cherished and protected and enjoyed within the context of marriage, a place where we love and value one another in many other ways as well.
Map and Mirror
Christian youth culture expert Walt Mueller of the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding has noted that our entertainment culture is both a map and a mirror. It’s a mirror in that it shows us the values of the world around us. But it’s a map in that it also points us in certain directions. To put it another way, our entertainment world reflects and reinforces a given set of values—values that are often at odds with what Scripture reveals as God’s way of doing things.
Lorde’s latest publicity-garnering decision reflects a culture that simultaneously places maximal emphasis on sexuality, while at the same time shrugging it off as “no big thing.” You can see both of those responses in the many online conversations about her explicit photo. She’s currently enjoying perhaps the biggest surge in attention she’s ever had. But it’s worth asking—and helping our kids consider, too—what the long-term outcome will be. What will using her sexuality as, essentially, a marketing stunt mean for her career? Will it empower her for the long run? Could it undermine or even demean how others see her?
Lorde is aware of her self-presentation, both in that picture and in the lyrics of her latest album. She seems to anticipate polarization. In an interview with Rolling Stone in May, she said, “There’s going to be a lot of people who don’t think I’m a good girl anymore, a good woman. It’s over. It will be over for a lot of people, and then for some people, I will have arrived. I’ll be where they always hoped I’d be.”
The way Lorde has chosen to expose herself, quite literally, won’t be the last time something like this happens. I’m neither surprised nor shocked. I’m not even disappointed, really. Instead, the father in me wants to say, “Oh, Lorde, I’m not sure that decision is going to have the long-term outcome you think it’s going to.” From my perspective, she’s trading something precious for something fleeting.
What I do know is that we have a responsibility to help our kids walk through this minefield of culture today, to protect them, to nurture them and to instill in them a deep conviction about God’s way of living. I want my kids to “taste and see that the LORD is good” (Psalm 34:8), to know that He can fill them in a way that fame, celebrity and self-focused sexuality never can.
But to help them internalize those truths, we have to keep talking, keep engaging, keep relating and praying … for our kids, especially, but also for those like Lorde whose choices have ripple effects extending outward across our culture.
