Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last penny.
This week: “I’m a 39-year-old working in the civil service as a criminal psychologist. I’ve been with the Civil Service for coming up to a decade in a variety of roles before I landed in this field five years ago, which is very challenging and interesting work. I’m a Londoner, having grown up here and moving back roughly 10 years ago following a split from my daughter’s father. I now live with my sister and daughter and our mother moved in with us two years ago following a decline in her health. It can be difficult sometimes, juggling everything when she has rough weeks and requires more care and we are deciding next steps in terms of long-term care, but overall, she’s enjoying being back with her kids and grandchild. I’m a cautious spender on a day-to-day basis, but can then have a fuck-it day and book a holiday and value experiences over possessions.”
Occupation: Criminal Psychologist
Industry: Civil Service
Age: 39
Location: London
Salary: £41,039
Paycheque Amount: £2,586 and £200-£300 overtime.
Number of housemates: Three — P, S and T.
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses
Housing costs: £1,200. We all put an equal amount, which covers utilities, rent and groceries.
Loan payments: I have roughly £2,000 on a 0% balance card from a wedding and holiday that I pay off monthly.
Savings: £10,000 in my emergency savings fund and £10,000 in a LISA.
Pension? Yes I pay 6% and my employer pays 29%. I have roughly £20,000 in, plus £18,000 from some old jobs.
Utilities: Included in joint payment.
All other monthly payments: £79 for mine and S’ phones and SIMs, £10 period charity, £11 Spotify, £20 union membership, £6 Oura.
Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
I attended university later on, completing both my degrees as an adult. I have student loans from my bachelor’s, with work paying for my master’s degree. I don’t really pay much attention to the debt as it comes out of my paycheque and only seems to cover the interest. I’m waiting for it to be wiped out after 30 years.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money
I grew up in a single-parent household. Mum was a stay-at-home mum who took care of me and my siblings and we survived on benefits. We didn’t go without, but we never went on holiday or had many discussions around money. I learnt not to ask for what we couldn’t afford.
If you have, when did you move out of your parents/guardians house?
I left home at 17.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself? Does anyone else cover any aspects of your financial life?
I became financially responsible for myself when I left home at 17 and have been working ever since. I’ve never had anyone cover aspects of my financial life and am very conscious to maintain my financial security.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
I worked as a server/bartender whilst hitchhiking around Europe with friends when I left home. It covered enough for us to get to the next country and have fun.
Do you worry about money now?
Yes. I worked hard to get to where I am and don’t have a security net in terms of family to fall back on. I check my accounts daily and make sure that I’m saving and looking for deals/swaps to reduce costs where I can.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?
No.
Day One
7:50 a.m. — Wake up. Turn on the laptop to see the damage since I’ve been off, only 300 emails for the last week. Call it a win.
8:20 a.m. — Say bye to S on her way to school. I’m lucky that she’s older now and can walk to school herself. The school run was never my vibe.
9:30 a.m. — Log on to my first meeting of the day with a collagen coffee and a green smoothie.
12:30 p.m. — Second meeting with tofu tacos and salad for brunch. There’s a bunch of changes happening at work and my days had a bunch of meetings slotted in whilst I was off so I feel like I’m playing catch up.
3:30 p.m. — S comes home and has a catch-up with me about her day.
4 p.m. — Another meeting. This is all London, so cameras off. Use this time to do my makeup for tonight and make a pasta sauce for dinner and lunch tomorrow. Have an early dinner myself.
6 p.m. — Remind Mum to make the pasta for the sauce and give S a hug before I head out. She’s deep in homework and humming to Spotify. Grab a MOTH cocktail from the fridge (they do a great margarita) for the train into central. Train ticket, £14.90.
7 p.m. — Arrive at the theatre to see Jonathan Bailey in Richard II. It’s a new theatre I’ve never been to before, it is quite small and immersive so I’m hoping that he’s as good in person as he is on screen. An American tourist and her son are sat next to me, she says she saw him in Bridgerton and is very excited.
8:45 p.m. — Intermission. Pick up a glass of wine £9.85, that’s London prices for you.
10:30 p.m. — The play was great, the son ended up sleeping on his backpack next to me during the whole second half, slightly snoring. Head to the station to get home.
11:30 p.m. — Home. Do skincare, currently on a retinol journey with The Ordinary. So far it’s working. Add that and B5 cream, then bed.
Total: £24.75
Day Two
7:30 a.m. — Alarm goes. In the office today. Put my makeup on while chatting to S. Walk to the bus stop with her, hop on whilst she continues to school, £1.75.
9 a.m. — Arrive at work, make a coffee with our machine. I’m trying to drink less coffee, so I try to treat myself only when in the office (it’s working for 60% of the week). Breakfast of eggs, chicken sausages and protein yoghurt (just found a dairy-free one that’s great).
9:30 a.m. — Log on to a meeting.
11 a.m. — First client of the day. They are new. I am getting a feel for their communication style and completing initial assessment.
3 p.m. — Multiple clients later, I have lunch of yesterday’s pasta at my desk while completing some tasks.
4 p.m. — I’m training some new staff. Have a debrief with P before a client comes in. Assess the progress and some areas the client may be struggling with. P is leading the session, so give him some pointers as it’s his first time.
5 p.m. — Quick debrief with P on how it went and give advice for him as he’s going to plan the next session for me to review later.
5:30 p.m. — More clients.
7 p.m. — Pack up and get the bus home, £1.75.
8 p.m. — T is home today and has cooked a stir fry for dinner. Eat whilst catching up with the family and Gogglebox.
10 p.m. — Skincare and bedtime.
Total: £3.50
Day Three
7:20 a.m. — Wake up before alarm. Same routine as yesterday, but pack a cuter top for later as I’m going to a friend’s book launch tonight. Walk with S to the bus stop and school, £1.75.
9 a.m. — Same breakfast as yesterday. Usually have the same thing when I’m back to back in the office, makes it easier otherwise, I can forget to eat when it’s busy.
10 a.m. — Area meeting with our interventions board, which I’m a panel member of.
12 p.m. — Client comes in, in a state of distress.
4 p.m. — Spent four hours with client contacting the relevant agencies to get them support. Ends up with the emergency response team coming to pick them up and taking them to the hospital. First time I’ve had to deal with something that intense. My director heard about what happened and takes me aside to say how well I handled it and suggests I go home early to decompress.
4:30 p.m. — Pack up. T is home, so call her and make sure she’s okay cooking dinner. Decide to go to my friend’s book launch instead of going home as I need a distraction from today and promised her I would show up this evening. Text S on the way so she knows I’ll be home late. She asks if she can go over to a friend’s for dinner. Works out well as T only has to sort Mum out. Train ticket, £14.90.
6:30 p.m. — Arrive a little early and have a chat with V and meet her lovely publisher. V has some pre-launch nerves, but she’s a great speaker. Grab a glass of wine as the event is catered and grab a seat in the front so I can sneakily take some pics whilst she’s on stage.
8:30 p.m. — V was amazing as always. It’s so nice to see your friends do well and be able to celebrate their wins. Have some food and more wine, mingle a little whilst V does the rounds of meeting the publishers and press.
9 p.m. — V and a couple of close friends head on over to the pub for a catch-up now the networking is done. V buys us a round and we catch up on life.
10 p.m. — About to leave, but M buys me a drink for the road, so I stay a little longer. They’re cute and I don’t mind flirting a little.
11:15 p.m. — Leave the bar and head to the train station.
12:30 a.m. —- Home, skincare, electrolytes. Change my alarm as I’m WFH tomorrow and future me might need some extra sleep.
Total: £16.65
Day Four
8:20 a.m. — Wake up and say bye to S who’s on her way to school. Turn on the laptop whilst I make a matcha and some painkillers. No meetings today so I put on a skincare mask that I was influenced to buy. You’re supposed to sleep in them but I find that I can wear it for a couple of hours and does the same thing.
9 a.m. — Call and check in on client from yesterday. They’ve volunteered to be admitted to the mental health ward for 28 days. I think it’s for the best as they have been struggling and this will give them the time to have a break, reset and see what their options are. It’s a shame that support services are so limited with all the funding cuts that it had to come to them being in distress to get the help they needed.
10 a.m. — Quick breakfast of eggs, spinach and potatoes. It was meant to be a Spanish omelette but turned out more of a scrambled mess, tastes great though.
10:30 a.m. — Update my director about yesterday. They’ve been very supportive and ask if I want the day off but I’d rather make sure it’s all sorted. Spend the next hour or two filling out the paperwork for it all.
1 p.m. — Decide to go drop off my Vinted parcels at the locker to have a break and get out of the house. Enjoy selling on Vinted as I can build up a kitty on there and having a teenager it helps with her style options as she’s into vintage atm. Though I find it hard to call early 2000s vintage.
2 p.m. — Have some reports due and case files to look at ahead of next weeks monthly review. Spend the rest of the afternoon working on these.
5 p.m. — Make a prawn risotto for dinner whilst keeping one eye on the laptop as a colleague left out vital information on some of the reports. If it comes in this evening I’ll be fine, otherwise I’m going to have to chase it up. I’m working on being better at delegating work but it’s times like these that I am tempted to do it all myself.
6 p.m. — Have dinner with S, talk about what we want to do for summer break. It’s just the two of us and I like to do something fun once a year. I’m thinking of a quad biking, she’s thinking beaches. We look at different countries we haven’t been to and make a list based on climate and where we haven’t been and then I’m left with the homework of checking deals and prices. Even though I’m doing okay financially, I still don’t like paying full price if I can find a good deal.
7:30 p.m. — S helps with the dishes and then heads over to her room to finish up a school project that’s due. Check the emails, no luck as apparently they forgot. Decide to just do it myself. I know I should be a better manager with things, but it’s important and I need to make sure it’s ready for Monday. Contact all the relevant people as some of the information can take a couple days to come through. Hoping my good relationships with the other departments means it’ll come through for me to complete tomorrow and not have to work over the weekend.
10 p.m. — Say goodnight to S have an everything shower, LED mask whilst watching Netflix and then bed.
Total: £0
Day Five
8 a.m. — Wake up, laptop on. Say bye to S on her way out. Makeup on as I’m going into work later.
9 a.m. — Coffee, greens and meeting.
10 a.m. — Staff check in. We do this twice a week as the team is hybrid it’s not mandatory but after this week it’s nice to connect.
10:30 a.m. — Porridge for breakfast with a load of seeds.
11 a.m. — Session with my mentor. We’ve been working with her for a couple months as I’m part of a women’s scheme at work that helps women in all stages of their careers. The idea is that you mentor those in an earlier stage of their career than you are. I really like my mentor, we have a lot in common and she’s helping me with some future planning. It also helps me think about my practice and how I can support my mentee who is quite new in her career.
12:30 p.m. — Take the bus into work, £1.75.
1:30 p.m. — Catch up with colleagues whilst I make a coffee and a smoothie. K is getting married in a couple of months and has been going through all the details with us.
2 p.m. — Client session goes well, we had a bit of a breakthrough. I’m slowly moving away from being client facing but today’s session was a nice reminder of how therapeutic work can make a difference.
3:30 p.m. — Another client session, this one was way tougher, not all wins.
5 p.m. — Finish up some session logs that are due and give my colleague H a recommendation for my nail lady. It’s a new place I found locally they have good prices and are very zen. Tempted to gate-keep as I hate loud and stressful places but H is one of my favourite colleagues.
6 p.m. — Bus home, £1.75.
7:30 p.m. — Steak, homemade wedges and roasted veggies for dinner.
8 p.m. — S is going to a party tonight and likes to use my vanity to get ready. She fills me in with all gossip about her friends.
8:30 p.m. — S is new to going out and whilst she has a curfew I don’t like to head to bed until she’s home. Shes always fine, I’m just a worried parent which I try not to project on her. I am getting better as I used to check Find My Phone every five mins when she first started. I decide to finish up some work with some skincare. M from the other night texts and distracts me a little.
11 p.m. — S calls and asks if she can stay a little longer as her friends are and they can all take the bus home together. She sounds like she’s having fun so I say yes.
11:40 p.m. — S is home had a great time. She’s been putting herself out there and expanding her friendship circle and I’m proud of her. Both head to sleep.
Total: £3.50
Day Six
9 a.m. — Wake up, skincare then full English breakfast with S.
10:30 a.m. — Leave the house to head into central. S and I are looking at unis today. Pick up some Blank Street coffees for the train as S wants to try them out. Nothing amazing but I don’t put extras in like S does, £10.65.
12 p.m. — Arrive at the open day and the uni is gorgeous. I’m trying not to have an opinion and let her get a feel for things as S says I can get over excited by things. I think it comes for being able to give her things I didn’t have, but it looks pretty cool and I’m having fun.
2 p.m. — Checking out the halls. The first one was alright but the second one was amazing. The girl who showed us around is definitely an S type of person and I could see her face light up and try to be cool when she saw the second halls. Money wise this will be a later-on convo that I’ll have to figure out. I’d love to have S home if she goes to uni in London, but I can see that she wants to start her independent life.
4 p.m. — Head to the food hall and pick up some sushi and teas and chat about the visit, £22.75. She’s a lot more excited about the uni than I thought she’d be. I’m not mad if she stays in London but we have several more to visit over the coming months which are all across the country.
5:30 p.m. — Decide we can’t be bothered to cook. Call Mum and ask what she wants, then pop into the Waitrose to get bits for dinner. Vegan pizza for me and S (we are dairy free) and they do the best ones that still taste like pizza. Get a bottle of wine, salad, vegan desert for S and regular pizza for my Mum, £35.
7 p.m. — M texts me on the train home asking if I’m out tonight. I’m not in the mood to do a late one and I’m also trying to be more mindful with my dating. I’m liking the chat but did first meet them whilst having a couple drinks in the evening so I suggest a drink tomorrow afternoon to which they’re up for and suggest a place (I like someone who plans).
8 p.m. — Home for dinner. Check in on Mum as T was working today. She’s a little worn out from the week so I bring her dinner and put her laundry on.
9 p.m. — S and I play some Switch together and then settle on a movie, we are going through classic 90s/00s. Tonight we’ve gone for 10 Things I Hate About You. Put it on whilst we do our skincare together.
12 a.m. — Movie was a win and still holds up. Head to bed.
Total: £68.40
Day Seven
9:30 a.m. — Wake up and the trains come out from yesterday, £22.35.
10 a.m. — Put some laundry on. Have some matcha and an everything shower.
11 a.m. — S emerges from her room. Make her breakfast as she’s got some homework due and wants a chill day to herself. We are similar in that way when we have had a lot going on, we like to spend some time chilling on our own.
11:30 a.m. — Put a stew in the slow cooker and get ready for my… should I call it a date? Debate on whether to wear makeup. I’m on a lowering makeup “journey” (I hate that word). Had a lot of body issues growing up in the 90s/00s and have been moving to just dyeing eyebrows and eyelashes and working on skincare. Decide to do some.
1 p.m. — Give S a hug before leaving and head to meet M, £14.90 for the train.
2:20 p.m. — Get there a little early walk around a bit because I don’t want to be the first person there.
2:30 p.m. — Arrive and spot M it’s a cute brunchy type place and we order bits to share. M was out last night so has a Bloody Mary and I start with a Mimosa.
6 p.m. — Times really flown and I’ve had more fun than I thought I would. We both have work in the morning, so make the responsible decision to head home. M insists on paying again, it’s something I’m getting used to. I reluctantly say yes and they walk me to the station. Have a pretty good kiss and say bye.
8 p.m. — Home. Make some bits to take to work tomorrow check in on S and Mum before calling it an early night.
9:30 p.m. — M’s texted which is sweet. I’m newly single after a long relationship which didn’t end well so I’m probably more cautious but today’s been nice. Do an LED mask and skincare and watch some Supacell on Netflix which I’m really enjoying.
Total: £37.25
The Breakdown
Conclusion
“I’d say financially it’s an average week. I tend to try to save and have no spend days during the week. But I will have big spends, like when we decide on our holiday, or S’s school supply run. The date was unexpected and if we see each other again, I’d pay. It’s been nice to log everything this week. I do worry about money a lot and seeing my spend this week, most was on ensuring S was having a good experience visiting universities and that’s where I value spending money — experiences.”
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