Quote of the Day: Dorothy Parker’s Blunt Advice for Anyone Who Cares Too Much What Others Think

Dorothy Parker had a way with words that could make people laugh, wince and think all at the same time. The writer, poet and critic, who was born August 22, 1893, became famous for her razor-sharp wit. But there was much more to Parker than her great one-liners. She wrote poetry, short stories, essays, criticism and screenplays, creating work that could be funny, romantic and brutally honest.

In an interview with the Paris Review Parker talked about the craft of wit. “Wit has truth in it,” she said. “Wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.” This distinction mattered to her. She understood that a clever line might get a laugh. But the best humor had something deeper underneath it.

Parker began writing captions for Vogue in 1914 and later became a drama critic at Vanity Fair, where she met Robert Benchley and Robert E. Sherwood. The three became close friends and were among those who attended the first luncheon that became the famous Algonquin Round Table.

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The Round Table would help make Parker famous. The informal gathering of writers, editors, actors and wits met for lunch at New York’s Algonquin Hotel, and Parker became one of its luminaries. Her reputation for her sharp observations grew quickly, helped in part by Franklin P. Adams, who printed some of her remarks in his Conning Tower column. As her New York Times obituary later noted, “fame was quickly rapping on her door.”

But Parker was never simply the woman who sat around a hotel table delivering great lines. She was a serious and prolific writer. Her work appeared in The New Yorker from its second issue in February, 1925, through December, 1957. The magazine’s longtime editor William Shawn later described Parker, along with Robert Benchley, E.B. White, James Thurber, Frank Sullivan, Ogden Nash and Peter Arno, as part of the original group of contributors who helped establish the magazine’s early tone and direction.

Parker’s writing also revealed a much more vulnerable side. Her wit often had disappointment, loneliness and romantic disillusionment. She could make a joke about heartbreak while also share how much heartbreak hurts. In “Anecdote,” she captures the experience in just four lines: “So silent I when Love was by / He yawned, and turned away; / But Sorrow clings to my apron-strings, / I have so much to say.”

Quote of the Day by Dorothy Parker

“But now I know the things I know,
And do the things I do;
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you!”

Parker wrote those lines in a poem published in her 1926 collection, Enough Rope.

After spending her younger years trying to please others and changing herself to suit their expectations, the speaker finds self-knowledge. She knows who she is, knows what she wants and is no longer interested in reshaping herself for someone else’s approval.

It is quintessential Parker. The language is playful, but underneath the punch line is something surprisingly serious. Here is the freedom that comes with finally knowing yourself.

Related: Quote of the Day: Martina McBride on Why Being Your Best Doesn’t Mean Being Perfect

Deeper Meaning of Dorothy Parker’s Quote

Parker’s poem begins with a confession about people-pleasing. The speaker remembers trying to please others and changing herself according to the opinions of others. That opening makes the final words more powerful. She isn’t claiming that she has always been completely confident. She’s describing what happens after years of trying to become what other people wanted.

The turning point is simple: “Now I know.” Those words suggest experience. Self-knowledge doesn’t necessarily arrive all at once. Sometimes it comes from making mistakes, trying to fit into relationships that don’t fit us and eventually realizing that constantly adjusting ourselves for someone else comes at a cost.

The final line is deliberately funny and blunt. Parker doesn’t soften the message or ask permission to be herself. If someone doesn’t like her as she is, she is willing to let that person go. The humor makes the sentiment memorable, but the underlying message is one of self-respect.

That idea remains remarkably relevant. It says stop compromising your identity for the approval of others. True peace comes from accepting your choices and confidently letting go of people who require you to diminish yourself.

More Quotes From Dorothy Parker

“I don’t care what is written about me, so long as it isn’t true.”

“I like to have a martini. Two at the very most,” says Parker. “After three I’m under the table. After four I’m under the host.”

“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”

“I hate writing, I love having written.”

“She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go.”

“It’s not the tragedies that kill us, it’s the messes.”

Next: Quote of the Day: Audra McDonald on Why the Scariest Choices Often Lead to the Greatest Growth