Did you know that the five stages of grief are also known as the Kübler-Ross model? Probably not if you’re not studying psychiatry or a similar field (so most of us). But yes, as the Cleveland Clinic reported, it is also known by its second title, named after the creator of the concept: Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. She was a Swiss-born American psychiatrist who researched the dying process throughout her career, including how their surviving relatives and loved ones were impacted. In her work studying humans who are dying, she came to really understand people and why they acted certain ways (or didn’t). And our quote of the day from Kübler-Ross highlights her belief in human nature and our innate ability to shine bright even in times of darkness.
Born in 1926 in Zurich, Switzerland, Kübler-Ross knew she wanted to be a doctor from a young age because of her work helping refugees from WWII. She eventually went against her father’s wishes to become a secretary, leaving home at 16 and joining the International Voluntary Service at 18 in 1945, according to the National Library of Medicine. She graduated from medical school at the University of Zurich in 1957.
Decades later, when she was an assistant professor of psychiatry at the Billings Hospital (associated with the University of Chicago) in the ‘60s, she witnessed the fact that many healthcare professionals didn’t discuss death with patients. This got her interested in the concept of dying, and preparing for it or understanding it, which jump-started her research.
As the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation reported, her “groundbreaking” 1969 book, On Death and Dying, is where she introduced the world to her important “Five Stages of Grief”: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. This model has been majorly influential in so many fields.
Today’s quote focuses on Kübler-Ross’s thoughts on how beautiful people are and that they can really show their true nature in hard times.
Related: Quote of the Day: Psychologist Gordon Allport on Humor Being the Best Way To Fight Life’s ‘Tangles’
Quote of the Day by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
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“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”
As quoted in The Leader’s Digest: Timeless Principles for Team and Organization (2003) by Jim Clemmer, in Chapter 4, titled “Authenticity.”
Clemmer writes that “our values are most truly revealed when times are toughest.” He then quotes Kübler-Ross, noting that she once said the above line.
Related: Quote of the Day by Elsie Lincoln Benedict: ‘Each One of the World’s Great Successes Was a Failure First’
Deeper Meaning of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s Quote—Inner Light and Resilience
This Kübler-Ross quote is a strikingly beautiful sentiment that perfectly illustrates human beings and inner light. It also might give a little hope and humanity to those who might not be at their brightest right now.
This quote reminds us that we are all gorgeous like stained-glass: hand-made works of art that sometimes tell stories and often live in beautiful cathedrals or historic buildings. But that’s not where the similarities stop.
Stained-glass windows are obviously transparent enough to let light through both ways: from outside, thanks to natural light, and from the inside at night when the lights are turned on in whatever building they’re adorning. And Kübler-Ross notes that humans are also like that, able to accept light from external places and from within.
It’s really easy to bask in the light that an outside source might give you—whether that’s from a partner, a parent, your boss or even just innate pride at something you did well. But life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, unfortunately. So when “darkness sets in”—maybe in the form of a bad day, a personal loss, a major disappointment or mental illness, just to name a few examples—you can still shine bright. You’re still a gorgeous glass art piece; the light source just has to come from inside of you.
Basically, this quote is saying that it’s important to understand who you are and have self-confidence that allows you to stand on your own, even (and especially) in trying times. Not vanity or arrogance, but an inner light that consists of strength and self-assurance.
Related: Quote of the Day: Stoic Philosopher Marcus Aurelius on Having ‘Power Over Your Mind—Not Outside Events’
More Quotes from Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
- “Live, so you do not have to look back and say: ‘God, how I have wasted my life.’”
- “It is difficult to accept death in this society because it is unfamiliar. In spite of the fact that it happens all the time, we never see it.”
- “Those who learned to know death, rather than to fear and fight it, become our teachers about life.”
- “Every individual human being born on this earth has the capacity to become a unique and special person, unlike any who has ever existed before or ever will exist again.”
- “I always say that death can be one of the greatest experiences ever. If you live each day of your life right, then you have nothing to fear.”
- “Our only purpose in life is growth. There are no accidents.”
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