Amey Dexter Cushman: Sister. Savant. Joyful. Kind. Born June 13, 1949, in Morristown, N.J.; died Jan. 12, 2025, in Pointe-Claire, Que., of esophageal cancer; aged 75.
Amey Cushman.Courtesy of family
Growing up, Amey Cushman spent hours winding up her record player to listen to songs such as Perry Como’s Catch a Falling Star and musicals like My Fair Lady and Oklahoma. Amey’s philosophy mirrored the optimism of the lyrics, “Oh, what a beautiful morning, oh, what a beautiful day!”
Amey lived at a West Island Residence for the Intellectually Handicapped in Montreal for more than 30 years. She was known for her joyful disposition, delightful sense of humour and savant-like memory.
Her love for music evolved with the times, and she embraced rock ‘n’ roll and the Beatles, identifying songs and artists with remarkable precision. When the board game Trivial Pursuit was released, Amey’s knowledge of pop culture outshone her siblings.
Amey’s parents Jan and Bob Cushman spoke French, and Bob seized an opportunity to move the family, leaving New York for Montreal to work for ALCAN’s steamship subsidiary. Their children – Robert, Amey and Hope were born in the U.S. Two more children, John and Charlotte, were born in Montreal.
Amey’s memory was formidable: On one occasion Robert forgot his landed immigrant card as he returned home from Boston. He had to call home in desperation from the Canadian border. Thankfully, Amey answered the phone and instantly recalled the family’s arrival date in Canada, Nov. 6, 1952. The border official confirmed the date and commented, “Buddy, you’re lucky to have such a smart sister.”
While Amey had a disability, she had so many remarkable abilities. She engaged everyone with genuine curiosity, remembering details about others and lifting their spirits. Spending time with Amey always left her siblings feeling better, her positive attitude dispelling any petty or existential concerns.
Faith played an important role in her life. She often recited her favourite grace at family gatherings and at her group home. Known for her impeccable manners, Amey punctuated conversations with “please” and always sent thank-you notes after overnight visits.
In the 1950s and early 1960s, when few services were available for children with intellectual disabilities, Amey’s parents joined forces with other parents to foster social groups and to pioneer services, including swimming lessons, day camps and later, group homes where Amey lived with friends from childhood. Some years ago, Jan received an award for her activism from a group that got its start in the basement of her family home.
Amey participated fully in life. She worked at a Renaissance Thrift store in Montreal, attended adult school and read to grandnieces and grandnephews. She swam in races for the Special Olympics, walked her many dogs in McGill’s Morgan Arboretum and skated on the Rideau Canal. During a trip to New York, Amey braved the walk over the Brooklyn Bridge, despite her fear of heights.
Amey was comfortable in any social setting and quick with a quip. In 1978, when Robert called home to share a surprise, she guessed it first: “What, you and Lynne are getting married?” and then added, “It’s about time.” One New Year’s Eve, when offered a selection of fancy beers, Amey playfully shot back, “Don’t you have any real beer like Molson or Labatts?”
Amey never focused on her own challenges, even during her three-month battle with cancer.
She was the glue of the Cushman family. Her compassion for others and concern for those in need were a beacon. And her family always thought Amey’s favourite expression – “This is really living!” – reflected her full embrace of life for all 75 years.
Robert Cushman is Amey’s brother.
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