Six lessons learned from my son’s university search | Canada Voices

I’m a proud McGill mom now. But getting my first-born child to select a university was a devil of a job.

Don’t get me wrong: My son, Remy, is a conscientious student. He graduated from a Toronto high school this past June and aspires to become an English and history teacher. Remy, 17, is in his first year of university and is finally finding his feet.

I am so relieved.

Last fall, the prospect of pursuing postsecondary studies – especially at an out-of-province school – daunted Remy. By the time college and university application season began in October, he was a nervous wreck.

Remy knew that he needed to research schools. But he didn’t know how to go about it. Frankly, neither did I.

So much has changed since I applied to university in 1992. Back then, I picked three Ontario-based universities based solely on their programs. When I secured my top choice – Carleton University’s School of Journalism in Ottawa – my parents paid my tuition, helped pack my stuff and dropped me off. No muss, no fuss.

These days, there is much more for young people to consider when searching for the right school. Academics are only one factor because costs are higher, the competition is steeper and there is an acute pressure to fit in thanks to social media. Instagram is the new student commons.

Parents are also playing a more active role in the application process. Armed with spreadsheets and brochures, mothers and fathers are touring schools with their kids, asking the tough questions, some starting their research as early as Grade 10!

I was a slacker by comparison. But that all changed when Remy started Grade 12. To put an end to his dithering, the two of us toured 11 prospective universities in Ontario, Quebec, British Columbia and Nova Scotia last fall and winter.

He then applied to 10 universities, including two schools we didn’t visit, to have plenty of back-up options, which resulted in various acceptance offers from which to narrow down.

Our school trips wiped out a chunk of my savings and ate up many of my vacation days. But university is an expensive investment. I’ve heard horror stories about kids going away to school only to call it quits in the first few months and return home. Money is tight in my house, so I was determined to avoid a similar outcome.

Remy needed to make an informed choice. I learned many lessons from his university search but the biggest is that he places a premium on school culture and community.

So, if you are a parent of a Grade 12 student, learn what matters to your child. Accept that your dreams may not align with their desires. Remember that their health and happiness are paramount. In that spirit, I offer these tips for finding the right fit.

Decide between staying home or going away

This is the starting point for your discussions. Finances are usually the main, but not the only, consideration. Initially, Remy was only looking at Toronto-based universities. Then my parents offered additional financial support, allowing us to widen our search. But Remy still wasn’t persuaded to study away from home. As he says, nothing beats daily hugs, home-cooked meals and the comfort of his own bed. I wanted Remy to have the “full university experience,” but he needed the right academic environment and social supports to feel comfortable leaving home.

Consider the school culture

To get the most out of open houses and campus tours, listen to the presentations and meet the professors, but also talk to actual students about what it is really like to live and study there. Were there any unpleasant surprises? What clubs, societies and sports are on offer? How is the food in residence? Is the campus safe? How does the school support mental health?

Observe students as they mill about on campus for any red flags. Remy was immediately turned off by the “bro culture” at one Ontario university. Although it had an impressive campus and strong academics, Remy knew he wouldn’t fit in. “We’re not even going to apply here,” he said.

You can also review the results of student-satisfaction surveys to get the down-low on everything including diversity, drinking and drugs.

Consider the campus

Does your child prefer a small, medium-sized or large school? Some, such as the University of Toronto, have more than one campus. Reflect on your child’s ability to navigate the location and their comfort with the distance from home. Is the campus self-contained or does it sprawl throughout the city? The University of British Columbia’s main campus, for example, was breathtakingly beautiful (it overlooks the mountains and the Pacific Ocean and has a Japanese garden). But it is located on a peninsula, roughly 12 kilometres from downtown Vancouver. There’s public transit, of course, but the commute is a potential drawback. Be sure to inquire about on-site amenities, including health care, transportation and retail stores. At the end of each campus visit, ask your child whether she or he can envision studying – and possibly living – there.

Get to know the city

Since residence is usually only guaranteed for the first year of studies, familiarize yourself with the city and inquire about the cost of housing or rent. Also play tourist to learn about leisure activities. When we toured Dalhousie University in Halifax this past February, we bought tickets to see a Thunderbirds lacrosse game and a Mooseheads hockey game. We also visited Citadel Hill just days after a massive snowstorm – perfect timing for Remy to understand the reality of the winter weather there.

Montreal stood out because of its food and cultural offerings. Beyond sampling bagels and smoked meat and visiting museums, Remy wanted to learn more about francophone identity and wanted to train his ear to Quebecois argot – in comparison to the Parisian French he was raised with at home.

Make your kid do the research

Remy created his own spreadsheets. It was also his job to read up on scholarships and keep track of the various open houses and application deadlines. I kept my own list of key dates, but he did most of the work. We also discussed the importance of making a budget and tracking of expenses.

Evaluate value for money

Most people go to college or university to obtain a credential that will land them a job. So, ask about the employment outcomes for graduates, career-counselling services, on-campus jobs and other resume-building opportunities such as internships or study-abroad programs.

If your child is in a professional program, it’s important to know whether the certification will be recognized in other provinces and in other countries.

Your shortlist should include the schools that offer the best bang for your buck, with tuition fees, number of years in school, plus rent costs are factored in. Remy selected McGill because it takes five years to obtain teacher certification there versus six at most Ontario universities. That, coupled with the lower cost of rent in Montreal, put McGill ahead – even when considering higher out-of-province tuition fees. McGill’s Canada Award also took the sting out of the Quebec government’s hike to out-of-province tuition.