Now, different situations (and different hosts or hostesses) call for different gifts, from earnest to cheeky, casual to Very Special. A three-day weekend at someone’s recently renovated Joshua Tree compound merits something a little more premeditated than a $20 bottle of wine; for an intimate evening of takeout, couch rotting, and watching The Rehearsal finale, perhaps a box of cute matches will do the trick.
Here’s the thing: Everyone wants to go to a party — well, maybe not those Gen Z professional bed-rotters on TikToks who just want to remain horizontal and scroll, but most of us — yet being a host can be burdensome. I speak from experience as someone who throws at least two relatively decadent gatherings a year; it’s expensive and exhausting, although I’d argue that it’s (almost) always worth it, even if a recycled glass Champagne flute or a stolen pint glass from The Commodore inevitably gets shattered on the floor every time… simply a sacrifice to the party gods.
If you’ve been invited to a party, detach your eyeballs from the infinite scroll and go make some memories! Don’t just huff and puff about being late, missing all the mini lobster rolls, or having to stay longer than you’d like to avoid an exorbitant Uber fee; devote a little thought to how your lovely friend or family member put in an undoubtedly Herculean amount of effort (and likely quite a bit of money) to ensure that you, fabulous guest, have a damn good time or else. They built a dirty martini fountain; they made cucumber tea sandwiches; they wiped countertops and bought extra seltzer, all in the name of your amusement and pleasure.
Maybe this person isn’t just hosting you in their home for a few hours, but as an overnight guest for a night or three (or longer — maybe you’re staying with someone for two months while your divorce proceedings get sorted, for instance). In these contexts, when you might unwind on their premises, disrupt their daily routine, and stroll their grounds (even if their “grounds” are just 400 square feet in Greenpoint), please take a minute to recognize: wow, what a lovely experience this friend has offered you! You not only evaded the gazillion dollars spent on a hotel or Airbnb, but you probably drank all of their fourth-wave coffee and used all their two-ply toilet paper. You’re enjoying their hospitality, and you should show some appreciation.
What makes a great host or hostess gift? Something that feels a little luxe, but not enough to embarrass the recipient; think a lovely little indulgence that you feel like you’d need an excuse to buy for yourself. Price doesn’t always dictate value — such an object can be acquired for less than 10 bucks. It’s the thought that counts, and you want to be clever. Read on for the best host and hostess gifts.
A hinoki-scented candle
It’s no secret that candles make great gifts. They smell good, they establish an elevated ambiance, and they let you build a very tiny little fire in your home. Fun! But as with any heavily fragranced product, tastes diverge and preferences differ as to what smells “great.” One relatively safe bet: the scent of hinoki, a Japanese cypress tree with a sophisticated, woody, calming aroma. While many hinoki-scented candles are out there, I’m personally a fan of Boy Smells’ Hinoki Fantôme. It’s a very sexy gender-agnostic scent that’s both mysterious and inviting, with notes of cardamom, pear, and oakmoss, like a quiet walk through a forest.
Luxardo cherries
Speaking of small, round things that are intended to be the finishing touch on a cocktail but which you will want to eat straight out of the jar, one absolutely must mention Luxardo cherries. You’ve probably seen them on the shelves of high-end cocktail bars, but if you’re unfamiliar, these are not just any old maraschino cherries, like the bright red ones that came in your childhood Shirley Temples; they’re made with marasca cherries and possess a romantic, sophisticated, almost marzipan-like flavor and a superior texture, and come swimming in a syrup made only of cherry juice and sugar — no weird chemicals or artificial colors. Luxardo is an Italian-run family company that’s been in business since 1821, and it takes its cherry products very seriously, specializing exclusively in maraschino liqueur and these fabulous cherries. Plus, the label is gorgeous.
If you’re into thrifting, the designs of cocktail napkins from the 50s and 60s suggest that maybe people really were partying harder back then.
…Don’t sleep on cocktail picks, either
Cocktail picks are the perfect gift for toting to a party, since they easily fit in a pocket or purse and can immediately be enjoyed with a garnished drink or to pick up and bite into one of those blue-cheese-stuffed olives. I love all of Joanna Buchanan’s cocktail picks (this $200 zodiac set is to die for, truly, though certainly not cheap), but to get out of dream world and back into reality, this $25 stainless steel set from West Elm is surprisingly sexy.
An ashtray that doubles as a snack receptacle
Similar sentiment, slightly edgier feel: a cool ashtray remains highly useful for non-smokers, too, serving as a home for keys, matchbooks, or those really good sesame cashews from Trader Joe’s.
Impressive olive oil
One of the problems with gifting a bottle of wine is that as soon as it’s opened, it needs to be consumed within a few days, and therefore will quickly be forgotten. But if you hand someone a bottle of flashy olive oil, it will live on their counter or in their pantry for months, reminding them over and over again of your considerate gesture and your good taste. Flamingo Estate, home to many, many gifts that are so nice you could confidently give them to Gwyneth Paltrow herself, makes our current favorite fancy-schmancy olive oil, announcing on the bottle itself that its produced with olives from 150-year-old trees. This is the kind of stuff that rich housewives in the Silverlake hills try to manifest in yoga class.
A couple of chic cocktail or wine glasses
Yes, we are currently in a renaissance of incredible glassware; I doubt that I need to tell you that, or to remind you that everyone could use another set of nice glasses to bring out when they have company. Last Christmas, I got my sister this set of charming, geometric stemless cocktail glasses by the glass wizard Sophie Lou Jacobsen. They’re unfortunately sold out now, but in the same spirit, these Anthropologie stemless martini glasses are very similar and reasonably priced, and I’m also blown away by these Serax glasses with a rounded, bubbly foot.
No need to buy a whole set — it’s a little oppressive to give someone who’s not a family member or romantic partner something that takes up a lot of cabinet space. Two will do! Three is awkward and four is too many.
A vase that looks like a bunch of garlic
I mean… just look at it. A real conversation piece. The tomato one is nice, too.
Pro tip: Order this gift set from Goldbelly ahead of time and schedule the delivery date to align with your arrival or the day of the party. That way you can not only arrive hands-free, but hopefully be offered a slice yourself. Two birds, one stone.
Flaky, fancy salt
In the great tradition of things we all want to have around but are sometimes too cheap to buy for ourselves, let us consider fancy salt. A box (or bucket) of Maldon is always appreciated, of course, but showing up with Jacobsen Salt’s aesthetic, transportable set of infused salts just feels a little more gift-y.
If your event is, like, tomorrow, this surprisingly attractive set of salad tongs is available in three colors, can be overnighted via Amazon, and is expensive-looking considering its attainable $30 price tag.
A butter curler
You know when you take a stick of butter out of the fridge, hoping to spread it all over your beautiful slice of Out of Thin Air sesame gochujang sourdough, and instead it’s hard and it’s going to tear up the surface of your bread and you’re SAD? No longer a problem once you get your hands on one of these cleverly designed butter spreader knives, which you can glide over the top of your butter hunk to achieve a spreadable consistency instantly. A bit of a stocking-stuffer type gadget, but it’s currently June, and we still think everyone should have one.
A vintage Christian Lacroix plate
Don’t ask me how I stumbled across this discovery, because it’s a very long and convoluted story, but it has come to my attention that the French designer Christian Lacroix — in addition to producing beautiful and theatrical clothing — has also made some really exquisite tableware and, more specifically, plates. Prices vary wildly on secondhand sites such as eBay, but if you look strategically you can get a trompe l’oeil plate with his signature embellished cross on it for under $50 — with the original box, might I add. The butterfly collection is nice, too.
I also genuinely love the gold-foiled, retro-hippie-chic look of classic Incense Matches, and I find the paper incense from Optatum to be so stylish and decorous, it looks like it belongs next to the sink of a bathroom in Versailles.
Cookies from an ‘it’ bakery
Eater has accurately referred to Levain as New York City’s most popular bakery, although it now has locations in multiple cities, all of which are very busy. I’m going to be totally honest with you: I do not love the cookies from Levain. I’m a flat, chewy, doughy cookie girl and I don’t like nuts in my cookies, and Levain’s cookies are tall, thick, gooey, and very nut-positive. But I can tell you this with confidence: People go absolutely feral for these cookies. The bakery’s closest location to me, in LA’s Larchmont neighborhood, is inundated with cookie-seekers at all hours of the day, with lines snaking down the block. I seem to be the only person in the world that simply doesn’t vibe that hard with Levain’s cookie style, so I can still advise that they will make a well-loved, quickly devoured gift. And honestly, this photo is borderline pornographic and makes me “get it.”
If you are blessed with ample expendable income and/or are hoping to impress the unimpressible, show up with a bottle of Rey Sol Extra Añejo. It’s considered one of the finest tequilas available — for real! — falling into a special category reserved for those spirits aged a minimum of five years in carefully constructed oak barrels. Its aroma is known for offering rich notes of vanilla, caramel, and wood, and is on par with the most storied, world-famous whiskies in terms of quality and smoothness. Plus, that bottle — you’ll definitely want to keep it long after you’ve taken the last sip.
