The best ways to date in the digital age, according to our experts | Canada Voices

On Feb. 13, healthy living reporter Graham Isador and freelance reporter Mira Miller answered reader questions on what dating looks like in the digital age, how to deepen your relationships and why Canadians are dating less.

A new survey, commissioned by The Globe and Mail and conducted by Nanos Research, suggests making romantic connections is low on people’s priority lists – with only 8 per cent of Canadians saying they’re actively dating right now.

Readers asked for tips on buffing up their dating profiles, how to start dating again after a long relationship, and what has changed in the relationship landscape in recent years. Here are some highlights from the Q&A.

Is Canada facing a dating recession?

The state of dating in Canada

In your opinion, what’s the No. 1 reason people are dating less? And how can they get interested in trying again?

Mira Miller: I don’t think it’s just one thing. Experts seem to agree that the main contributors are a difficult job market (leading to people delaying relationships to focus on education and careers first), high cost of living, dating app fatigue and an increasingly individualistic society.

But the research also shows that people do still want to find connections, and there’s a lot of interest in doing so in non-digital ways. The more folks can get out there and meet new people, whether through events or hobbies or anything, the more they might find those connections.

Graham Isador: I think it’s app fatigue. We’ve conditioned ourselves to think that dating apps are the only way to meet people and are out of the habit of setting up dates in other ways.

Whether or not you’re interested in dating is largely a personal thing. If you’re not feeling it at the moment, don’t force yourself.

Five dating profile red flags (and how to fix them)

I’m seeing most of my menopausal friends giving up on romantic relationships completely. Many of them are turning to each other and going “Golden Girls.” Is this also something we’re seeing on a broader level?

Isador: Anecdotally, yes. The Globe recently put out a call asking why people have opted out of dating. Among that cohort, there was a lot of frustration about the dating apps and meeting new people. There were also concerns about potential partners pulling their own weight in relationships and the division of labour. Many people decided it was better to just focus on their friends.

While the story skews a bit older, we had a great article that felt “Golden Girls” adjacent in January.

Miller: Indeed, your friends aren’t the only ones. I wrote about this phenomenon among young women but it seems to be true for women of all ages. Research has shown that women are more satisfied in their singlehood than men, often because they have stronger social circles, and therefore are less interested in relationships. Instead, many are choosing to focus on friendships because they require less compromise and allow women to maintain their autonomy.

How does someone meet someone, anyone, without technology being involved? In the days of polarizing political persuasions, is it possible to even forge an authentic connection?

Miller: Dating apps can be really exhausting (according to a 2025 Forbes Health survey, 78 per cent of users reported feeling emotionally, mentally or physically exhausted by dating apps at least some of the time) but they also can work, so I wouldn’t give up on them entirely. Still, it is possible to meet people organically and find authentic connections.

The best way, based on my conversations with experts, is to join a group or club based on one of your interests. This could be a sport of some kind, something in the arts, or really anything you enjoy. By doing this, you’re putting yourself in an environment with like-minded people. You already know you have something in common with them, and it’s easier to meet and talk to people while doing an activity. Plus, hobbies are good for your well-being, so you’re benefitting either way.

How to build community, one ‘hi, neighbour’ at a time

The Globe has written that loneliness is on the rise in Canada. Why is that?

Miller: Based on the reporting I’ve done, it’s happening for a multitude of reasons. For one thing, our increasing reliance on technology is making us lonelier. We’re less and less likely to see people in person, and more likely to send a quick text or message on social media, which doesn’t really satisfy our need for connection. The impacts of the pandemic also remain, with so much of life now happening virtually as a result. And we’re just more used to staying home and not being social because of it.

The cost-of-living crisis and the competitive job market have also left many people without the funds or time to prioritize socializing. Altogether, we are more isolated as a society and therefore getting lonelier. Working to build more community in our lives can help combat this. I wrote about how to do that in this piece.

Dating advice

I find that dating on the apps is getting increasingly hard with AI and people generally being dishonest or not upfront about themselves. How can I sift through all that and make a real connection?

Isador: For an article on dating apps I spoke with a number of matchmakers across Canada.

AI-generated photos – including filters or touch-ups – were an immediate red flag for every expert. So much so that if a picture gave off the impression of being AI-generated, it was often an instant deal-breaker.

“I have had people reach out to me and say, ‘I want to share an AI-generated photo of me, but it really looks like me.’ I always tell them: no. You definitely don’t want to do that,” said Shea. “If the picture looks too good to be true, it probably is. It has to be a little bit imperfect.”

If you’re looking to avoid AI in general, I would prioritize meeting people in person. Barring one of those weirdos who uses smart glasses (like the one Chris Velazco wrote about here), folks will have to speak with you. Find a meetup group for an activity you like. Put yourself in places where you’re going to meet new people.

When no one ever seems interested in getting to know you, you grapple with the idea that either something is wrong with the conventional wisdom or something is wrong with you? How do you manage those emotions?

Miller: Dating unsuccessfully can be really discouraging and make us feel like there’s something wrong with us. But if you’re enjoying your life, working on yourself and putting your best foot forward, you’re doing all the right things. There is always some luck involved with meeting the right person, and it’s important to remind yourself that someone else’s behaviour or preference isn’t a reflection of you or your worth. I’d say keep at it, but you can also take breaks when you feel discouraged. A lot of people are struggling with dating right now, so it really isn’t a you problem.

I’ve had long-term relationships in the past, but recently it feels like I’ve been too busy with work to date more than casually. How do people find the time to juggle everything?

Isador: You sound like you have a pretty complete life outside of dating, which is great. If finding a romantic partner is a priority for you, then you need to actually prioritize it. At the moment it doesn’t sound like there would be time for dating even if you did meet someone special. Drop what isn’t serving you and make some space.

Miller: You’re definitely not alone in this. Part of why interest in dating is low is because life is expensive and busy and people are juggling so much, so it falls down the priority list. If dating is important to you, then it’s worth prioritizing, especially since connection and intimacy are so beneficial to well-being. But you don’t want to spread yourself too thin either, so I’d say give it as much of your time and attention as you can without overdoing it and burning yourself out.

How can someone get back out into the dating world in middle age, especially after the death of their long-term partner?

Isador: That’s a tough one. There are a few people in my life who’ve had that experience. I think first and foremost, it’s important you acknowledge the grieving process. In the GTA groups like BFO Toronto offer support groups. When starting out dating – especially after a death – I think it’s just important to be gentle with yourself and take things at your own pace. As for getting out there, it’s largely the same as it is for everyone else. I’d find a hobby or group activity you enjoy and start from there.

It seems like a lot of people have been burned in the past and are guarded when it comes to taking chances on people, where in the past it seems like taking chances on people was how you found a partner. Is it really worth working so hard for something that might not work out?

Miller: Getting hurt can indeed create fear about it happening again and people can become guarded. In my personal experience, if we really want fulfilling relationships, we have to work through our past experiences and learn from them so we can become better versions of ourselves and better future partners. I also think we have to focus less on things “working out.” Instead, try looking at each dating experience as a learning opportunity – a chance to learn about your patterns, your preferences, etc. You can always take something good from every situation no matter the outcome. Of course we hope for things to work out, but nothing in life is guaranteed.