When you’re feeling strains in your relationship, there are some good tried-and-true tactics to help, like communicating with “I statements,” learning to speak your partner’s love language and scheduling a much-needed date night. These strategies can help improve intimacy and vulnerability in general.
However, author and licensed sex therapist Vanessa Marin just shared a unique habit she swears by in her own relationship while on The Mel Robbins Podcast: making out every day.
While speaking with Mel Robbins on episode #273, “Your Guide to Better Sex, Intimacy, & Love From a World-Leading Sex Therapist,” Marin explained that a couple of years ago, her and her husband fell into a “trap” that “most couples fall into,” when life was so full of craziness between the kids and work, they didn’t have time for each other.
Related: Mel Robbins Reveals the 5-Minute Nighttime Habit That Will Transform Your Mornings
“I realized one day, I don’t remember the last time that we made out,” she said on the podcast. “And we used to make out all the time at the beginning of our relationship—it was just one of those incredibly sweet, pure, brings you back to being a teenager, making out in the car. And so I realized, I really miss that. I miss that we’re not making out with each other. So I decided, you know what? Let’s make a ritual out of it. Let’s make a fun little ritual where I want us to make out every single night.”
What does that look like, practically?
“So it could be 10 seconds, it could be a couple minutes,” she continued. “We just do like a minute every night and it’s just this really sweet little moment of connection for us where we get to enjoy kissing just for the sake of kissing. It’s a really great way to bring that romance back.”
And it doesn’t have to lead to anything else—actually, for the first month of doing this, Marin and her husband made a rule that the nightly make out wouldn’t lead to anything more.
“We have to break that connection that touch is supposed to lead to sex,” Marin later explained while talking about a “bristle response,” AKA “when your partner reaches out to touch you and you feel your whole body recoil” because you assume your partner wants more.
Instead, this simple, “fun little ritual” of making out directly corresponds to what studies have shared about how physical touch leads to strengthened bonds between partners and lowered stress.
What better way to reignite romance?
Up Next:
Related: This Tiny Tweak to Your Thinking Can Transform Your Relationships, According to Mel Robbins
