Violence Is Not Fate. Change Is Possible

Turkish writer, theatre critic, and academic Zehra İpşiroğlu’s book Woman Plays features three theatre plays—Fathers, Uncles, and Others, Confrontation, and The Prison of Masculinity—that explore the concept of violence produced by a sexist and patriarchal society in all its dimensions. Although these three plays are independent of each other, they complement one another by revealing how violence permeates our behaviour patterns, language, and way of life; how the cycle of violence is passed down across generations; how deeply rooted traditions and seemingly harmless taboos intertwine violence into the fabric of society; and ultimately, how a different way of living and solidarity can be achieved. Therefore, these plays can be considered a trilogy.

Fathers, Uncles, and Others

Growing up with deeply ingrained teachings such as “The family is sacred,” “What happens in the family stays in the family,” and “One must not interfere in family matters” fosters a fear of tarnishing the sacred, preventing us from even acknowledging the existence of domestic violence, child sexual abuse, and rape. Forget watching a film or reading a book that breaks these taboos—we don’t even talk about them. We believe, with great certainty, that incidents like a father or an uncle sexually abusing his own child or niece; or a man physically assaulting his wife only happen in “other families”—those that are poor, uneducated, or live so far from us. We think the danger is elsewhere and choose not to see what might be happening right in front of our eyes. However, both the perpetrators and the victims are among us. Regardless of religion, language, race, education, culture, or economic status, domestic violence and child sexual abuse exist across all segments of society but are systematically ignored.

The first play in the trilogy, Fathers, Uncles, and Others, focuses on child sexual abuse, addressing the most devastating aspects of violence. Without sensationalizing the pain, the play examines the stories of children and women who have been surrounded by violence, murdered, or raped. Instead of concentrating solely on the events themselves, it explores their causes and consequences in-depth, encouraging the audience/readers to question and reflect on these issues from various perspectives.

The play, structured as narrative theatre, consists of two scenes. In the first, we hear from Suzan; in the second, we hear from Selin. Suzan and Selin are cousins. Suzan’s father is a highly successful politician, and her uncle (Selin’s father) is a renowned and beloved poet. Contrary to common assumptions, they do not come from uneducated or impoverished families.

Representing the rural class, the family’s gardener’s daughter, Sultan, is also part of the story. Selin’s widely admired poet father sexually abuses both his niece Suzan and the gardener’s daughter Sultan. Suzan keeps the abuse a secret for years. Despite being a child, Sultan is forced to marry a man who is 40 years older than she is.  Later, she falls in love with a young man and elopes with him. However, this very lover, who claimed to “love her madly,” murders Sultan in a fit of jealousy.

After years of silence, Suzan finally confides in her cousin Selin and later in her mother. She confronts her uncle at a family dinner, but no one believes her. Instead, she is accused of lying and losing her sanity. Even her mother, who faces daily physical abuse from her husband, remains silent. Isolated and unable to defend herself, Suzan ultimately decides to end her own life.

During Suzan’s legal battle against her uncle, we witness how a wealthy and influential family can effectively cover up crimes and how patriarchal oppression pervades all levels of society. The play reveals how the justice system, politics, and media perpetuate and fuel violence.

The second scene takes place nine years after Suzan’s suicide. Selin, transformed by the deaths of Suzan and Sultan, begins to question everything and confront her father. She resolves to pursue Suzan’s legal battle and ultimately succeeds in having her father imprisoned. Through Selin’s retrospective perspective, the play invites the audience/reader to critically reflect on the unseen realities behind these tragedies without trapping them into an emotional dead end.

Zehra İpşiroğlu. Book cover.

Confrontation

The second play, Confrontation, centers on three women—Özlem, Serra, and Sibel—who have internalized the patriarchal system. Through familiar and relatable stories, the play explores how normalized forms of violence shape our lives. The play takes us on a journey of self-alienation by questioning the thought patterns that perpetuate violence.

Özlem’s story explores the world of a woman raised by an overprotective and controlling father who justifies all his interventions with the excuse of “protecting” his daughter and “thinking of her best interests.” This blurred line between love, respect, fear, intervention, freedom, and captivity forces a reckoning with the mindset that sees women as weak beings who must be protected and interprets jealousy as a sign of love.

Serra, Özlem’s mother, is a university professor specializing in gender studies, women, and violence. Despite her academic expertise, she is trapped in a marriage with her highly respected doctor husband, Mert, who initially starts with verbal abuse before escalating to physical violence. Mert repeatedly apologizes and promises to change, and Serra, unable to accept that she is a victim of domestic violence, convinces herself that she is to blame. She constructs justifications like “What would people think?” and “It only happened once,” deluding herself into silence. Her story underscores the fact that violence knows no boundaries of education or culture.

Sibel, a nurse at the same hospital as Mert, faces relentless harassment from him. Mert desires more than just a workplace friendship with Sibel; he never takes her refusals seriously. He harasses her through phone calls and messages, blocks her path on the street, and even shows up drunk at her doorstep. His persistent harassment leaves Sibel with no space to live her life, prompting her to file a complaint against Mert. However, this is where the play’s hidden character, “social pressure,” comes into play and starts to blame and invalidate Sibel with statements like “If you weren’t interested in him, why did you keep having coffee with him?”, “Why were you always on the same shifts?”, “So, you never encouraged Mert at all?”, and “Friendship? Can a man and a woman really be just friends?”. This overwhelming societal pressure eventually drives Sibel to leave the city and move elsewhere.

At the intersection of these three women’s stories, they become mirrors of each other, recognizing their own realities through shared experiences. The play ends with a hopeful note, emphasizing the healing power of speaking out, solidarity, and recognizing the traces of patriarchal ideology in our lives.

Zehra İpşiroğlu

The Prison of Masculinity

The final play in the trilogy, The Prison of Masculinity, is designed as a two-part interactive digital narrative theatre piece. The play establishes a forum under Future Design Workshop, moderated by two actors. Fourteen actors—seven women and seven men—are placed among the audience, contributing interventions and comments on the discussed topics, ensuring that diverse perspectives are represented.

The play creates a space for discussion and reflection on questions such as: What is violence? And how can it be prevented?, How much of what our ancestors, fathers, and mothers taught us contains elements of violence?, How does toxic masculinity develop? Is another form of masculinity possible? With room for improvisation, the play invites the audience/readers to share their own stories of transformation.

The story follows historian Derin and theatre artist Yunus as they recount their childhoods shaped by domestic violence, their struggles with the toxic masculinity imposed on them, and their efforts to transform themselves. Their stories offer both hope and inspiration for change.

We hear Derin’s story, which begins with his father, who psychologically abused his mother before leaving her for another woman. The narrative explores Derin’s relationship with his mother, his marriage, and how he balanced writing his PhD dissertation while caring for his child at home.

We also witness Yunus’s journey—his childhood under the physical and psychological abuse of his alcoholic father, his entanglement with neighbourhood gangs that led to prison, his turn to religion, and finally, his transformation into a theatre artist.

The play does not impose a single truth but instead fosters a space where everyone’s journey of change is respected. It opens the doors to dialogue and mutual understanding, allowing the audience to experience the healing power of conversation, shared experiences, critical questioning, art, theatre, and solidarity.

Violence is not fate. Change is possible.

In Türkiye, 394 women and 33 girls were murdered in 2024.  Their own family members killed 75% of these women. 19 girls were murdered by their fathers along with their mothers (Kadın Cinayetlerini Durduracağız Platformu, 2024).

In Canada, from November 26, 2022, to November 25, 2023, 62 women and children lost their lives due to gender-related killings perpetrated by men. Of these, 15 were killed by family members. (Ontario Association of Interval & Transition Houses (OAITH). (2023). 2022–2023 Annual femicide list.)

These statistics reflect only the recorded cases—instances in which lives were lost that could no longer be ignored. However, the true extent of domestic violence and child abuse remains hidden due to systemic barriers that prevent victims from speaking out. These numbers will continue to rise if we continue not to see them.

Zehra İpşiroğlu

It is possible to see, hear, speak, and understand. More than anything, it is possible to create change.

Recognizing the traces of violence is just the beginning of breaking free from the constraints that entrap us and paving the way for liberation. The harassment, assaults, and psychological and physical violence we have endured do not define us. Acknowledging our wounds and healing them is possible. Seeing the warning signs of violence, listening without judgment, standing in solidarity, and empowering one another is possible.

Beyond artistic aesthetics, these plays serve as guides, shedding light on the patterns that shape our experiences, opening pathways for discussion, understanding, and solidarity, and demonstrating that violence is not fate.

Change is possible and today is a perfect day to begin.

About Zehra İpşiroğlu

Zehra İpşiroğlu is a writer and academic who started her career at Istanbul University’s German Department. She then founded and led the Department of Theater Criticism and Dramaturgy at the same university and continued her career in the Turkish Language Teaching Department at Duisburg/Essen University in Germany.

In addition to publishing various collaborative works on creative education and teaching, she has written books on literature, theatre, and creative education. She has also authored novels, short stories, memoirs, interviews, plays, literary works for children and young adults, and literary translations. Some of her books have been translated into German, Serbian, Russian, and Hindi, and she received numerous awards.

She lives in Köln, Germany and Istanbul, Türkiye.

March 2025,

Toronto

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