Why we need to party more | Canada Voices

Marlowe Granados is the author of Happy Hour.

Recently, I gasped out of shock. I was at the National Ballet in Toronto for the opening night of Winter’s Tale. Walking through the corridor in silks and fur, I was confronted with a group of people wearing… jeans. At first, I was confused, and then terribly dismayed. There are so few reasons to dress up in this modern age, and I was under the impression that attending the ballet was one of them. Think of it as wearing a team’s jersey to a game (I participate in that ritual, too).

If you’re already out the door for something as exquisite as the ballet, why not make it a night to remember? Dorothy Draper, the 20th-century interior designer and impeccable hostess, would call this reluctance giving in to “the Will to be Dreary.”

In her book Entertaining is Fun! she defines the saying as, “a morose little imp which whispers to us that something which we know would be fun would be too much trouble, will take too much time, is too expensive and probably wouldn’t be as amusing after all.”

‘Is that all there is?’ In this new world, perhaps we need a little nostalgia, and a bit of naivety

My evenings at the ballet are what I always imagined the privileges of adulthood would look like. I love the ceremony of putting together an outfit, popping in pearl earrings, and before curtain, meeting a friend for a glass of champagne. For me, these elements together make the difference between just another night, and an occasion. No matter how many times I go to the ballet, I will always be excited.

Draper writes that this kind of attitude demands you have a “flair for enjoyment.” You can certainly enjoy things, but do you have a flair for it? From what I have witnessed, there is a drought of verve and enthusiasm that must be amended, and we need to increase people’s appetites. So, if I am to urge people to take one thing into the new year, it’s a sense of occasion, no matter how casual the engagement is. Despite whatever gloom hangs over us, there’s always an opportunity to witness signs of life.

As a known social butterfly, I understand mingling is not everyone’s strength, and people are out of practice. We have increasingly become accustomed to socializing through our phones, romantically and otherwise. Friendships have shifted to include the passivity of witnessing people’s lives online, as opposed to making the effort to spend quality time with them.

I’ll admit, in this arena I have it easier than most, since I travel frequently and making plans has the urgency of catching me at the right place and the right time. But it is as simple as asking when someone is free. Maybe you’ve spent this holiday season seeing everyone you know and now believe you can take several months off from engagements. These past few weeks may have run you ragged, but you must keep spirits up through the long winter ahead.

It doesn’t matter the season, me and my friends believe in the importance of bringing a little conviviality through whatever door we waltz through. Having fun is good for you, and most importantly, it’s infectious. It’s about creating an atmosphere that is built out of optimism and vitality.

If you don’t want to venture out, invite your loved ones past the threshold and into your home. Do it in the dead of March when the idea of spring still feels like a far-off dream.

This gives people something to look forward to. Not one for cooking? Me neither, but I do have beautiful jadeite platters that I can arrange delivered food on adequately. Don’t want people to stay late? I like to add to my invitations an appropriate out time, phrased as “Carriages at x o’clock.”

If you stop yourself by giving a myriad of excuses not to do something, you give in to the “Will to be Dreary.”

Recently, I had a birthday party at my local bar on a Monday evening. It was simple, I gave a time frame that I would be there as though it were my office hours. Some would advise against having a party on a Monday because the likelihood people would come seems low, but people did and they were glad for it! I buzzed around the entire bar giving pieces of cake to everyone, including strangers, because even though it was my birthday, I was still the host.

Have dietary demands taken the fun out of dinner parties?

As Draper writes, “Every good hostess has a sense of showmanship.” That entire week after my birthday started off with an injection of vitality for at least 20 people, and I am now fielding texts to throw a little party with or without a reason again.

If you set the standard, your guests will eagerly match it, having been craving an opportunity to do so. It’s like when I met a friend for dinner and she says, “I wore these heels for you.” The shoes have been sitting in the back of her closet for months, but because I bring the atmosphere of an occasion, they’re finally allowed a night out on the pavement.

My favourite film to watch this time of year is a lesson to us all: 1999’s 200 Cigarettes follows an ensemble of New Yorkers on New Year’s Eve making it through several obstacles to get to the one party they’ve all been invited to. The host of said party, played by Martha Plimpton, frets that no one will come. She paces back and forth in a chartreuse dress, “What are they all, walking the streets out there like zombies because it’s too uncool to be prompt?”

She gives in to her worries and passes out of drunkenness. When she wakes up, she realizes she slept through the night and the party of her dreams already happened all around her.

What was all that fretting good for? One of the guests, played by Kate Hudson, is outside her apartment hailing a cab to the party. A driver stops. Noticing her indecision about going out, he opens the car door and says, “Sweetheart, you know what you need to do, you need to get into this cab.” She shuffles around in a pink coat, “I do?” The driver does not stutter, “You’ve gotta say yes to your destiny… Live tonight!”

Now, allow me to get the door for you.