9 Signs Someone Is Emotionally Overstimulated, Not Actually Angry, According to a Psychologist

For many of us, a regular day can turn into a stressful one in the blink of an eye. It seems as if no matter what you do sometimes, things just keep piling on and on, until you’ve reached the point of total and utter chaos that overwhelms you. Laundry that usually goes smoothly abruptly becomes a headache when the washing machine breaks. A simple project at work spirals into a complicated one. Things like loud noises, bright lights and uncomfortable textures can suddenly become unbearable, too. When all of this hits the fan and you feel like this, it usually means you’re overstimulated.

Feeling overloaded can happen to the best of us, even if you typically have a cool head about things. According to a consumer survey from Best Therapies, 71% of Americans experience overstimulation. And those numbers increase by generation. A whopping 85% of those who are Gen Z report feeling like they have a low bandwidth to handle things, 82% of Millennials feel that way and so on. 

Overstimulation is a fairly new term in our current-day lexicon. But what does it mean exactly to feel overstimulated? What are some of the causes? And what should you do if you or a loved one is experiencing this kind of overload? Parade reached out to a psychologist to find out these things, and she also shares nine signs someone is emotionally overstimulated and not actually angry, even if that’s how they come across.

Related: If You Can Relate to These 9 Phrases, You Might Have High-Functioning Anxiety, According to a Psychologist

What Does ‘Overstimulated’ Mean?

Dr. Chelsea Sarai, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist and the founder of the Brentwood Therapy Collective, says that overstimulation is when the nervous system takes in more input than it can effectively process in a given moment. That input can be external—such as noise, demands, conversations, notifications—or internal, like emotional content, intrusive thoughts or stress. 

“Being overstimulated is not a character flaw—it’s a capacity issue,” she tells Parade. “I like to look at it like our body is giving us information that the system is flooded, and when we are flooded, our tolerance narrows.”

What Does Emotional Overstimulation Feel Like in Adults?

Dr. Sarai says that emotionally, overstimulation can make you feel edgy, something that can easily be interpreted by others as irritation or anger instead.  

“Small things can suddenly feel really big. Your patience shortens, and you may feel irritable, teary, restless or desperate for space,” she says. 

She goes on to say that physically, overstimulation can manifest as muscle tension, a racing heart, shallow breathing, heat in the face or chest or the urge to escape.

While feeling overwhelmed like this can happen to anyone and everyone, it can come up more often for those with certain diagnosable mental health conditions. Dr. Sarai says that individuals who have anxiety, attentional difficulties or neurodivergence and trauma can often experience this loss of emotional bandwidth. 

What’s the Difference Between Overstimulation and Sensory Overload?

Dr. Sarai says that while sensory overload is typically related to just the five senses, it is input-heavy and is often environmental; emotional overstimulation is a bit broader. 

“Sensory input can contribute to overstimulation, but it also encompasses relational tension, multitasking, emotional labor, decision fatigue or unprocessed stress,” she explains. “You can be sitting in a quiet room and still feel emotionally overstimulated if your internal world is loud.”

Related: 9 Subtle Signs of ‘Analysis Paralysis,’ According to a Harvard University Fellow

9 Signs Someone Is Emotionally Overstimulated, Not Actually Angry, According to a Psychologist

1. Snapping

If you or someone you love is feeling overstimulated, they may snap in response to something minor that usually wouldn’t bother them, according to Dr. Sarai. This doesn’t mean that they’re necessarily “angry.”

2. Withdrawal

Dr. Sarai says that you might notice that someone who is overstimulated may withdraw suddenly when in conversation with others, or this is something you notice in yourself.

3. Being illogically annoyed

If you’re feeling overloaded, you may also feel “irrationally irritated” by noise or questions, as Dr. Sarai puts it. 

4. Tearfulness

Dr. Sarai states that there may also be tearfulness that feels disproportionate to the situation.

5. Decision paralysis

When you’re overstimulated, Dr. Sarai says you may have trouble making even the simplest decisions. 

6. Needing to be alone

You may have “a strong urge to be alone or to leave the environment,” as Dr. Sarai says. 

7. Tension

Overstimulation isn’t just emotional. As mentioned, it can definitely be physical as well. Dr. Sarai states that this can show up as physical tension, which can include clenching one’s jaw, having tight shoulders or pacing. 

8. Difficulty communicating

Dr. Sarai says that you may have difficulty articulating what is wrong or why you’re upset.

9. Shutting down

Those who feel overstimulated might “shut down rather than engaging in conflict and attempting to repair,” Dr. Sarai says.

Related: 8 Traits of People Who Say ‘I’m Fine’ When They’re Not, According to Psychologists

How To Calm Down When You’re Feeling Overstimulated

It can feel impossible to achieve any feeling of tranquility when overstimulated, but you should try your best to feel a little calmer, or at least get close to your usual baseline of emotions. It can be taxing on the body and mind to be overwhelmed for a long period of time. 

Dr. Sarai says that “the first step is noticing that we are overstimulated, which truly is quite hard to do in the moment!” 

She adds that a key principle is remembering that you cannot solely cognitively reason your way out of a physiologically activated state—you have to calm the body first. 

“Strategies I recommend for regulation are stepping away from stimulation, lengthening one’s exhale, putting both feet flat on the floor and splashing cool water on one’s face,” she recommends. 

She also says that therapy can be incredibly helpful in calming yourself down while overstimulated “because it helps increase self-awareness and expands nervous system capacity over time.”

“In therapy, we learn to differentiate specific emotions from overwhelm, regulate our bodies and examine lifestyle patterns that can keep us in chronic overstimulation,” she concludes. 

Up Next:

Related: Psychologists Say These 9 ‘Deposits’ in an ‘Emotional Bank Account’ Can Improve Your Relationships

Sources:

• Dr. Chelsea Sarai, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and the founder of the Brentwood Therapy Collective.
• Best Therapies: “Overwhelmed and Overstimulated: Survey Reveals Impact on Mental Health”