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Once upon a time, I had the brilliant idea to pack my bags and move from Toronto to a small town in Ontario (Gananoque). It was all so picture-perfect in my mind: being closer to nature, having access to more affordable housing, and having a chance to reinvent myself a little. Start gardening, perhaps. Join a club.
And it was charming, for sure. Not to mention incredibly pretty. But the magic didn’t last as long as I thought it would, and the reality I walked into didn’t quite match the fantasy I’d romanticized while sitting in my tiny, overpriced Toronto apartment. I only gave it a year, which really isn’t that much time, but still, it was enough to realize that small-town living simply isn’t for me. That being said, I’m super happy I gave it a shot and definitely learned a few things about myself along the way.
Turns out, I like my privacy
Ontario wilderness.
Brittany Barber | Narcity
I think the hardest thing to adjust to was how visible I felt. I was so used to the anonymity of a big city that I didn’t expect the lack of it to hit me quite so hard. Suddenly, casual conversations didn’t stay quite so casual. They travelled swiftly and easily. I remember the first time it dawned on me. I’d mentioned something small to a neighbour, only to have it brought up later by someone I’d never even met, like they’d been there for the original chat. It wasn’t malicious or anything. That was just normal for the new context I was in.
But it made me realize pretty quickly that anything I shared could easily become common knowledge, and it turns out, I’m not so interested in that level of openness. In a city, you can choose when to be seen. In small-town Ontario, I felt like I always had to be on.
Knowing everyone’s gossip
On the flip side, I wasn’t the only one whose life was in the spotlight. People started telling me things about other people in town that I absolutely had no right knowing. It’s not even that people are particularly nosy. It’s just that information travels fast when there aren’t that many places for it to go.
You end up hearing things you didn’t ask to hear, about people you barely know, and somehow, you’re part of the loop whether you like it or not.
I like having options
City nightlife.
Brittany Barber | Narcity
When I first moved in, I was excited to explore all the quaint mom-and-pop shops around town. And to be fair, I did find some really great spots. But once I’d made my rounds, that sense of discovery dropped off pretty quickly. I thought I could learn to love the routine of it all, the familiarity… but turns out, that’s just not really my style.
In a city, it always felt like there was something new to try. Even after living in Toronto for over 20 years, there were tons of cafes and areas I could still explore. Maybe I have a toxic relationship with novelty, but I didn’t realize how much I relied on that constant sense of possibility until it wasn’t there anymore.
I actually appreciate a little background noise
I really thought the peace and quiet would feel amazing. I love going camping (like, two-weeks-without-seeing-another-person kind of camping), so I figured I’d welcome the silence with open arms. Well, that wasn’t the case exactly.
It was relaxing, sure. But it was also kind of weird. Creepy even. I couldn’t believe it, but I actually really missed the hum of a city. The distant traffic, people talking. It’s comforting to me that there’s always something happening somewhere, but I didn’t realize that until after I moved.
I don’t love driving
One of the biggest changes I had to make after moving to a small town was the amount of driving I had to do. Growing up in Toronto meant walking, biking, or taking public transit. My family didn’t even have a car.
Even though the town was pretty walkable, there were still a ton of places that I had to drive to in order to get to. Public transit was essentially non-existent, and neighbouring towns and villages were mainly connected by highways (except the VIA train, but it only stopped in town occasionally).
Errands started feeling like full outings, which I didn’t love all that much.
I’m 100% a night owl
Nightlife mirror selfie.
Brittany Barber | Narcity
Okay, I know. I could have foreseen this being an issue right from the get-go, and honestly, it was one of the things I was most worried about. I love nightlife. Going out to concerts and having late-night chats at wine bars are actually a huge part of what makes me happy in life.
I told myself I could always plan the occasional weekend in Toronto or Montreal if I really missed it. But you can’t replicate that kind of energy when your day-to-day life winds down at 8 p.m. It gave me plenty of time to dive into hobbies and side projects at home (which I actually really loved), but after a while, the lack of stimulation started to catch up with me. Because there’s a difference between choosing a quiet night in and having it be your only option, and I felt it.
You can’t avoid the people you don’t like
In a city, it’s easy to create distance. You unfollow, you avoid a neighbourhood, you move on. There’s space to curate your environment, or at the very least, create a bit of breathing room. In a small town, that kind of space doesn’t really exist. You will run into people. At the grocery store, on a walk, at the pub in town. And sometimes there’s no way around it.
What surprised me most wasn’t even the frequency of the encounters (although at times, it was a lot). It was how hard it was to move on from negative experiences. In a city, things tend to fade naturally. In a small town, everything lingers a little longer — even the things you thought were already behind you.
Small towns can be super cliquey
Living in Gananoque, Ontario.
Brittany Barber | Narcity
A lot of people have grown up together, so it makes total sense for a small town to be cliquey. But it also means social circles can feel pretty set in stone. Breaking into that can be tough, and even when people are friendly, it can still feel like you’re on the outside looking in. And it’s not overt or unkind, just hard to crack.
Whereas in a city, I think there are more people in the same boat. People looking for connection, for new friends, to try new things. There’s a kind of shared willingness to let new people in. And I realized pretty quickly how much I missed that kind of energy (and luckily, found it again when I moved to Europe).
I missed the diversity of city life
One thing I didn’t fully anticipate missing as intensely as I did was the diversity.
Not just in the different faces I got to see, but in the perspectives, food, events, and overall energy. In a city like Toronto, you’re constantly exposed to different cultures and ways of living without even trying. In a small town, things can feel more uniform, and that shift wasn’t really for me.
The opinions expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.
