I know I’m not the only person who finds themself reflexively opening and closing apps, like perusing digital window displays to feel as if I’m doing something.
IAIYWOYP posits a situation in which you’re just pretending to be on your phone. The site offers you intermittent orders, and actions to perform:
Widen your eyes and then frown.
You tap circles as they pop up, swipe when asked, and occasionally are told to clean your screen.
Taken all together, it creates the ideal symphony of actions that you might need to convince a neighboring restaurant table that you’re not eavesdropping on them (you’re on your phone).
What I found most compelling, and disturbing, is how satisfying all this is. I like double-tapping a pink circle, and pressing my fingers pensively to my lips. Maybe it’s the play-acting, or maybe this simple feedback is genuinely all I’m getting out of using my phone anyway. I am a compulsive phone-user, with very little to show for it other than almost 2,000 victories in Sawayama Solitaire.
If taking orders from a clever phone game is as momentarily compelling to me as, say, scrolling Bluesky, then what the hell am I doing here?