In the first 100-plus days of the second presidential term of Donald Trump, American television has fallen into a real rhythm when world leaders pay a call to Washington, D.C., as Prime Minister Mark Carney did on Tuesday.
First, the President of the United States produces his own gonzo talk show featuring these international guests in the Oval Office – one shown live on all the news channels and live-streamed on the internet.
Then, later in the day, the late-night talk-show hosts dissect what happened in Trump’s broadcast and try to make jokes about it.
These television programs have a symbiotic relationship – like The Hills and The Hills: The After Show.
But Trump’s daytime show hosting world leaders is in many ways modelled on the long-standing format of late-night shows, too.
The President takes the stage not to a band, but the clatter of clicking camera shutters, on a set that’s familiar to long-time viewers of America but with a few personal touches added in (ah, that ugly Winston Churchill bust!).
After shaking hands with whatever politician has been booked on his show this week, Trump sits down in the designated host’s chair – and his guest sits in the chair next to him.
Meanwhile, on a couch to Trump’s left is his sidekick, Vice-President J.D. Vance; like Conan O’Brien’s old right-hand man Andy Richter, Vance is always there with a supportive chuckle.
While there’s no comic monologue by Trump to start things off, he does do plenty of other monologuing to make up for it. Oh, how Trump can monologue, Canadians who tuned in to watch Carney in the hot seat learned.
The innovation that Trump has introduced to the talk-show format, however, is this: his Oval Office visitors never know if they’re there to be roasted or praised until it happens. This adds some of the suspense of his old reality series The Apprentice over who might be fired at any moment.
The American late-night talk shows haven’t innovated in the same way for Trump 2.0.
It doesn’t really matter to their writers if Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, who has been fighting for his country’s freedom with great bravery, has been bullied, or if El Salvador’s President Nayib Bukele, who once described himself as the “world’s coolest dictator” in his Twitter bio, has got a pat on the back by Trump.
Jokes must be crafted about what transpired in the Oval Office either way.
Here are some of the ones that were written about Carney’s trek to the White House.
Mark Carney on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.Supplied
The Daily Show
It’s no surprise that Comedy Central’s long-running fake-news program (now on Paramount+ in Canada) dedicated the most time to the Prime Minister’s visit.
After all, Carney soft-launched his run for the Liberal leadership on that very show in January.
Back then, in a flirtatious interview with long-time host Jon Stewart, Carney practised politely turning down Trump’s invitations to become the U.S.A.’s 51st state: “We find you very attractive, but we’re not moving in with you. It’s not you, it’s us.”
Part-time host Desi Lydic was in the chair on The Daily Show Tuesday – and resurrected this comedic metaphor of cack-handed courtship in relation to the threats of annexation. She played a clip of the President talking about how Canada joining the U.S. would be “a wonderful marriage,” followed by one where Carney said that his country wouldn’t be for sale – ever.
“I think Donald Trump just got friend-zoned,“ Lydic said. “Canada’s like, ‘You have been such an amazing ally, but I really think we just work better as sovereign neighbours.’”
Lydic added that the old excuse about having a girlfriend in Canada that Americans use when turning down a romantic advance would not work in this circumstance.
“God, this is why you don’t date someone who lives on the same continent as you. Awkward.”
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Canada-U.S. relations were fodder for more relationship-themed jokes in Jimmy Fallon’s monologue on NBC.
“Trump said if Canada became the 51st state, it would be a wonderful marriage,” he said.
The punchline: “And people were like, ‘How would he know?’”
Carney’s line about how Canada wasn’t for sale and wouldn’t be for sale – ever – was also featured in Fallon’s opening monologue.
In Fallon’s retelling: “Then Trump went back to browsing a world map like it’s Zillow.” He switched into a Trump impression here as he mimicked scrolling through that real-estate site: “Finland looks nice, the schools are good.”
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Over on ABC, Jimmy Kimmel had the darkest take on the day’s meeting of the Canada and U.S. leaders. “It was like an Ewok going to a meeting on the Death Star,” he said.
Also as part of his opening monologue, Kimmel played the same clip of Carney saying that Canada wouldn’t be for sale, ever – the Prime Minister’s emphatic “ever,” which came after the tiniest of pauses, made for an irresistible sound bite.
But then the comic followed that with a clip of Trump saying: “Never say never.”
“That’s true – he doesn’t take no for answer,” Kimmel said.
“In fact, he was found liable for it in a court of law.”
That’s a particularly gutsy punchline for an ABC personality to drop. Last fall, the network’s news department settled a defamation suit for $15-million relating to on-air comments about a lawsuit where Trump was found liable of sexually abusing and defaming E. Jean Carroll.
