Esther Marguerite MacDonald: Military mom. Matriarch. Caregiver. Cook. Born April 8, 1926, in Wheatley River, PEI; died Nov. 28, 2024, in Cornwall, Ont., by medical assistance in dying; aged 98.
Esther MacDonaldCourtesy of family
On the last day of her life, Esther MacDonald gathered her large and extended family for a meal in the private dining room at her seniors’ residence. She wore the burgundy dress with white pearls that she had picked out two years before. She always dressed well.
To see photos of the day – the smiles on her family as they assembled around her in her beloved rocking chair, you’d never know what was about to happen.
Just one month earlier, Esther, who had many ailments, was accepted into the MAID program. In a final act of caregiving, she informed her family that she wanted to die before Christmas to save everyone from travelling home twice.
This gathering was a celebration of life. While she was still in it.
Esther Stead was born on a small farm in Prince Edward Island and grew up there during the Depression. She was the second youngest of four children.
By age 12, Esther was an accomplished cook. By 18, she left PEI to work in a bakery in Saint John, N.B. It was here she met Ken MacDonald at a dance. Ken had just returned from the Second World War. He would be the one and only love of her life. They quickly married in 1947 and for their honeymoon Esther and Ken took a cruise: From east Saint John to west Saint John. They shared a hot dog and Coke.
Before long they had a baby boy, Kerry. And then another, Wayne. And then a baby girl, Debbie. With her husband away so much in the military, Esther often took care of the kids on her own.
When Debbie was diagnosed with leukemia at age three, Ken was stationed in Korea. He was sent home to fight this new battle alongside Esther. Debbie died at age four. It devastated the family. But even through her own grief, Esther found a way to take care of her two boys and an inconsolable husband. She called it “an awful time.”
Ken soon left the military. In 1958, the couple opened a restaurant in Saint John called Ken’s, even though Esther did most of the cooking. She cooked one featured meal a day, with a slice of pie for dessert. All for a dollar. The place was packed.
In time, there were more kids. A daughter, Karen. A son, Ron. A third daughter, Wendy. And a fourth son, Stephen. In 1967, the family moved to Cornwall, Ont., where Ken got a job teaching high school drafting. Esther took care of the four kids still at home and joined the Cornwall Hospital Auxiliary, where she volunteered for the next 50 years. She was a long-standing member of her local Red Hat Society social club and an accomplished five-pin bowler. She loved nothing more than heading out for high tea with family and friends.
What she didn’t like was bad food. She once admonished a waiter at the renowned Oyster Bar in Grand Central Station, N.Y.: “These clams haven’t soaked long enough. There‘s still sand in them.” And the day before her death, during lunch at a high-end restaurant, Esther didn’t like her chicken. The waiter offered to bring her another. “No,” she said, then added wryly, “I won’t be eating here again.”
In 1983, Ken and Esther lost another child when their firstborn, Kerry was killed in an industrial accident. Once again, Esther took care of the family, even while dealing with her own grief. But that’s who she was. Always taking care of everyone. If you were in need, she was there, with a helping hand, a hot meal and hug when you needed it most.
She was a mum to everyone. A role she called, “the best job in the world.”
Ron MacDonald is Esther‘s son.
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