In today’s society, we’re just a few taps and swipes away from revealing highly personal information to the masses. “Getting real” and sharing more than life’s highlight-reel moments has its benefits, like helping others feel less alone in their struggles. However, psychologists warn that it’s worth taking a moment to think before sharing personal details on social media or even in one-on-one conversations with a friend.
“It is important to understand what to keep private because it protects your safety, preserves your dignity and helps to maintain healthy boundaries in relationships,” explains Dr. Holly Schiff, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist. “Sharing too much with the wrong person or in the wrong setting can lead to emotional harm, loss of trust or even exploitation. Knowing what to keep to yourself allows you to decide who has truly earned access to the more personal parts of your life.”
What personal details should you keep private, and from whom? Psychologists reveal the answers below.
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11 Personal Details Psychologists Are Begging People To Keep Private
1. Pictures of Children on Social Media
This rule is a new one in the digital age. While it may be tempting to share an adorable photo of your child or grandchild holding up a last or first day of school photo with their teacher’s name, or a sweet snap of a little one with Mickey Mouse at Disney World, one psychologist warns it’s risky.
“Sharing photos of your children on your social media can have unintended consequences,” explains Dr. Jan Miller, Ph.D., a Georgia-based licensed psychologist with Thriveworks. “This is especially true for those who don’t restrict their social media profiles. These photos could be misused by predators or internet stalkers.”
She suggests blocking or blurring kids’ faces and asking for their permission before sharing.
“[Make] sure that your privacy settings are restricted to only those you trust with this information,” she adds.
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2. Your Address and Phone Number
This one isn’t necessarily new, but it has gained new significance as bad actors continue to find new ways to manipulate people on digital platforms.
“Sharing your address and phone number can open you up to several risks, including scammers who could use this information to gain more data about you for the purpose of stealing your identity, use this information to commit financial fraud and even make you vulnerable to unwanted attention like harassment, spam solicitations,” Dr. Miller reports.
She advises people to only provide this information to someone when it’s absolutely required, such as putting your home address on a voter registration form.
“If asked for your phone number or address, ask why this information is needed, how it will be used and if this is absolutely required,” she shares.
3. Passwords and Log-in Information
Dr. Schiff says it’s crucial to keep this information private. And yes, this includes keeping it private from pals who ditched their Amazon Prime subscription and want to use your account for free shipping perks.
“Even well-meaning people can accidentally misuse the access, and in worst-case scenarios, it opens the door to serious breaches of privacy, identity theft or loss of control over your personal accounts,” she explains.
For this scenario specifically, you can always offer to order the item for them if they give you the money.
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4. Your Mental Health History
People are opening up more about their mental health history, which has helped chip away at the stigma surrounding getting help. However, Dr. Schiff says this information is still highly personal, and it’s essential to be mindful of who you share it with.
“While it is important to be honest with professionals and trusted loved ones, sharing it in casual or public settings can lead to misunderstanding or stigma,” she reveals. “Not everyone is equipped to respond with the empathy or discretion such information deserves.”
5. Personal Conversations
In addition to not sharing personal details about yourself, Dr. Miller says it’s critical not to share private information you “inherit” in a heart-to-heart conversation with someone else.
“In general, social etiquette guides us that personal conversations should not be widely shared,” she says. “This applies to both online and offline situations. Sharing details of personal conversations, especially without the other party’s consent, is a breach of trust and can damage relationships.”
She also warns that the conversation can get misinterpreted and damage reputations.
Key caveat: “There are situations in which private conversations may need to be shared without the other party’s consent, such as in cases of abuse or harassment or if legally required,” Dr. Miller reports.
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6. Career Transitions
Changing jobs—especially if you’re switching to a whole new industry—is exciting, and it’s natural to want to scream it from the rooftops. However, one psychologist recommends caution.
“Sharing the news with too many people before telling the ones it affects most is not ideal,” points out Dr. Michele Leno, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist and host of Mind Matters with Dr. Michele. “If employers and clients learn about your plans secondhand, they might become anxious or misunderstand your intentions.”
7. Plans To Leave a Relationship
This one is another significant life pivot to handle with care. Dr. Leno shares that some people may prematurely detail their exits from a relationship, and it can lead to conversations they’re ill-prepared to handle.
“Your friends and family will want to know who, when, what, where, how and why,” she explains. “They might ask these questions daily until you leave—or not.”
8. The Person You Dislike
You’re not going to like everyone, but it’s not necessary to tell everyone who isn’t on your “favorite” list.
“Your least favorite person may be a not-so-bad person in your friend’s eyes, and while it’s fine to disagree, there is no need to spoil the peace with unnecessary conflict,” Dr. Leno shares.
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9. Opinions About How Your Friend Is Raising Their Child
Dr. Leno warns that this one gets delicate fast.
“Your unsolicited thoughts could come across as judgmental,” she reports. “Even if a friend asks your opinion, tread lightly. Your friend may get defensive if you appear too eager to redirect their parenting.”
10. Extreme Political Views
You might be surprised to find this one here, given how normal it is to talk about politics on social media and beyond.
“Social media has made it popular to not just share but overshare,” Dr. Leno explains. “While it is fine to pick a side, you may want to avoid publicly bashing the opposition.”
She points out that—in conversation with someone—the other person may have a different perspective, and implying that you assume otherwise can create tension.
11. Any Information That You Don’t Feel Comfortable Sharing
If you don’t want to share it, you don’t have to share it—no matter what TikTok is doing today.
“Sharing elements about yourself, whether it is about your health, who you voted for or your favorite foods, is not anything that others deserve without earning your trust,” Dr. Miller explains. “Once you share information about yourself, you cannot take it back, and you lose control over what happens to that information. By knowing your boundaries and level of trust in the other person, you can make a more informed decision on what to share.”
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3 Questions To Ask Before Sharing Something
1. Is sharing necessary?
Despite she shared in the above list, Dr. Miller shares that it’s sometimes necessary to share certain information, even if it’s uncomfortable (like if someone’s safety is at risk). However, other times, even “standard” questions don’t require answers.
“Oftentimes, we may feel like we must share information we’re not comfortable sharing because of a perception that we have to, like our phone number when making a purchase,” she explains. “Asking more questions about the reasons for this request and how the data will be.”
For instance, when making a purchase, you may only need to provide your home address (for shipping).
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2. Is it safe to share?
This question is critical, especially in protecting yourself and your loved ones from security risks.
“If this information contains identifiable information, you may want to limit who receives this data,” Dr. Miller says. “Safety also involves the trust level of the person receiving this information—is the person you may share this information with safe to hold this information?”
3. What is your intent in sharing?
Precisely, why do you want to share this information? Getting to the heart of this answer can provide valuable perspective.
“If sharing this information is for the intent of helping someone, building relationships or sharing elements of yourself that you feel comfortable with, then it may be beneficial to share,” Dr. Miller explains. “If there isn’t a clear intent or it feels dangerous, you may consider not sharing.”
Up Next:
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Sources:
- Dr. Holly Schiff, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist
- Dr. Jan Miller, Ph.D., a Georgia-based licensed psychologist with Thriveworks
- Dr. Michele Leno, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist and host of Mind Matters with Dr. Michele
