Do you ever reminisce on the luxury of hogging the TV when your roommate is gone for the weekend? Do you live for those lazy, weekend days when you get the condo all to yourself?
That’s the life for so many twenty-somethings in Toronto. But not so much so for many Toronto parents, who wake up, feed their kids, make lunches and pick them up from school — amongst other things.
Until one day, the constant scramble of that reality comes to a halt when the kids move out.
Then what?
When Leaside mom Charlene Wood first found herself with an empty home after her youngest child went to university, that first taste of solitude in years might have sounded like a dream to some.
It meant no noise, no extra responsibilities, and the best of all: all that spare time back to yourself.
That transition didn’t evoke those feelings in Wood, though. Instead, it left her feeling the effects that many empty-nesters experience after their last child leaves home.
That inspired her to find the answer to loneliness: creating a Facebook club called the Leaside Moms Empty Nesters Support Group, where other women can reignite their social lives and form connections along the way.
And for Wood, that meant one thing: Not wanting anyone to feel like they’re alone.
“It occurred to me that I can’t be the only one going through this,” she said. “This is a whole new part of my life, and a blank canvas. And although that can be really exciting, from other women I’ve spoken to, it’s not. It’s scary.”
While an empty sounds like a dream to some, the foundation of the club inspires goals that anyone can see value in: finding friends in your community and creating lasting bonds with people who share similar lifestyles as you.
After Wood fulfilled her dream of pursuing a career in real estate, she was able to reconnect with women in her neighbourhood, which sparked the initial idea.
“Real estate is what I do, but helping women feel seen, supported, and unstoppable — that’s who I am,” said Wood.
Since the club was started two years ago, the Facebook group’s “About” page has welcomed moms from Leaside preparing to send their kids off to university.
But Wood welcomes empty-nesters from all walks of life, stating that women will be able to “share our wins in life after having our kids.”
Wood, pictured above, participating in a vision board-making night with her club. Photo courtesy of Charlene Wood
The club started with around 10 members and has now grown to include 77 women from the community.
Members can decide to get together and do whatever they please with one another, including finding a walking buddy, having a wine night or starting a book club.
While the options are endless, it’s also common to gather at one person’s house, where a host will typically organize an event or gathering of their choice.
She stresses that the club isn’t centred around her, but more so for anyone who feels left behind at home.
“This is my gift back to the community,” she said. “You could meet your next best friend here.”
Wood says she and other women have met and formed friendships through the activities they participate in together.
For now, the club is centred in the Leaside neighbourhood. While Wood isn’t opposed to opening the door for residents around Toronto, she says it’s essential to maintain a sense of community among one another.
“Maybe over time it will expand,” she said. “I just want to keep it to women who have that in common, who can help support each other.”
Feeling alone in a city like Toronto can be daunting, but that can also mean there’s a greater chance to meet people who are going through similar challenges, says Wood.
She says some members are divorced, while others are still married or even widowed.
The paramount message of the group’s founding? Just because you’re missing a couple of family members at home doesn’t mean the fun is gone.
“Your life can still be so great now,” she said. “Like even better than ever before.”
