PLOT: Emily and her friends find a Witchboard in the woods. Using it results in deadly consequences. They have to stop it before it’s too late.
REVIEW: Few films in the horror genre are more entertaining than The Blob and A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. They bring a great mix of over-the-top violence with humor. So I was ecstatic to see writer/director Chuck Russell make his return to the genre for the first time in nearly 25 years. Setting his sights on updating the 1986 film Witchboard, which itself was a play on the popular Ouija board, this seems prime for the modern era. So, it’s upsetting for me to say that 2024’s Witchboard is a bit of a mess.
If you’re hoping for some kind of update to the 1986 story, you’re in for disappointment because we’re instead given a story about a girl finding the board and becoming possessed. Okay, that actually makes it sound more like the original, but add in a whole subplot of opening up a restaurant and a mysterious benefactor. There were times when I had to check and make sure I wasn’t watching a Blumhouse title. From the bland characters to a very stereotypical story, everything about Witchboard feels generic.
Madison Iseman has come and gone from the genre over the years, and she works well as lead, Emily. I’m curious how others will react to her as she essentially is why her friends are roped into this. I always struggle to care about that kind of character. Her complete ignorance of the situation is very frustrating. The Witchboard is clearly influencing her but it also makes it hard to root for her since she comes across as kind of stupid. And the inclusion of her former drug dealer didn’t make things any better. Again, really hard to root for. But Iseman herself does a great job. Aaron Dominguez is our real lead, and he’s decent enough. His love for Emily comes through, even if I’m often going, “What on earth does he see in this girl?” His character is very one-dimensional.
The real standout is Jamie Campbell Bower as Alexander Babtiste. As proven by his performance as Vecna in Stranger Things, Bowers has a voice that can pierce your soul. His role is very stereotypical, but he gives it so much life. He’s sadly underutilized, especially in the film’s finale. He can feel a bit one-dimensionally evil, but it worked for me. While he’s only briefly in the film, Ozark‘s own Charlie Tahan appears as the most relatable character in the film. The only person who, the moment he sees the Witchboard, is immediately against it and wants it as far away as possible. If only they’d listened to the poor guy.
Instead of using a simple ouija board, I liked the inclusion of a newly designed board. While it wouldn’t surprise me if, like the original, it was done for copyright reasons, it has a cool design. New Orleans serves as the setting for this version of Witchboard, giving it a properly witchy aesthetic. The city has a long history of witchcraft so it makes sense to set the film there.
The CGI blood can get a tad out of hand, and I became increasingly frustrated the more it was used. There are even simple moments when something physical could be used, yet they go the digital route, which is a bit disappointing. That’s not to say everything is CGI, as there’s a great throat slash and other moments. They also combine elements to great effect. The film certainly isn’t afraid to get wet. But I was often flabbergasted at the sheer amount of CGI violence. Is it really that difficult to mix some Karo Syrup and red food coloring? And the kills are often very uninspired; they just happen for shock value and without much thought. I was hoping for some Rube Goldberg-style kills but came out sorely disappointed.
Witchboard is very silly and clearly meant to be seen with a crowd. It’s more formulaic than I was expecting, but Russell delivers some great Final Destination-y kills. There aren’t any characters to attach to as they’re busy making bad decisions but the villain is eclectic and fun. I’m sure with another viewing, and rooting against these kids, could have a better return on time investment. But boasting this level of talent and getting this result, means this film is better off on the shelf.
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