As a person endlessly fascinated by the past, present, and future of pop culture, and how the classics can be reframed and reinterpreted by modern context, I appreciate a media powerhouse like DC diving into the archives to construct new internet-friendly edits out of its vast media library.
But a new video published to DC’s YouTube channel on Friday, titled “Batman’s most LEGENDARY RIZZ Moments 🔥” is the work of a true Joker.
Clocking in at an astounding 33 minutes and 35 seconds, the video splices together scenes from every theatrical Batman installment (from Batman 1989 to Nolan’s trilogy to The Batman and even The Lego Batman Movie), plus snippets from Batman: The Animated Series, Batman: The Brave and the Bold, and many more, and a few of the direct-to-video DC Animated features. As the YouTube summary reminds us, “Gotham’s Dark Knight isn’t just about justice, he’s got ultimate game too. Enjoy some of Batman’s smoothest, and most legendary chaRIZZmatic moments from the very beginning.”
Does Batman have ultimate game? Looking past the fact that “Batman’s most LEGENDARY RIZZ Moments” feels a few years late to the slang game — perhaps it’s time for Batman’s most embarrassing “uh duh duh” goofs? — the chaotic fan edit raises lots of questions about how we collectively think of Batman as a romantic icon. While the Caped Crusader has mixed and mingled over the years, having even married Catwoman a few years ago, his sexual lane seems much more “repressed hyper-male” than “smoother-operator icon” in the vein of James Bond. Despite finding 33 minutes of Batman/Bruce Wayne hetero-interaction across the canon, very few of the clips see the hero displaying true rizz in this writer’s mind. In fact, he’s quite awkward!
Of all the Batmans, Christian Bale comes closest to bringing some steaminess to the character in his scenes opposite Anne Hathaway in The Dark Knight Rises. In fact, Hathaway, Michelle Pfeiffer in Batman Returns, and Zoë Kravitz in The Batman all exude significantly more rizz than any of their cowl-covered leading men as they weaponize sexuality for their master plans. Give Catwoman a stand-alone supercut!
Am I way overthinking this? No. No I am not. This is the doing of “Batman’s most LEGENDARY RIZZ Moments 🔥,” not me. The only cursed object I have put in this world is this Photoshopped picture of The Rizzler as The Riddler that I made in 10 minutes.
Now that is rizz.
