An Etiquette Expert Warns Against This One Common ‘Polite Behavior’ in 2026—Here’s Why

As a child, your parents may have told you to mind your manners—to say please and thank you, hello and goodbye, etc. And as an etiquette expert, Rosalinda Randall isn’t against embracing these polite habits.

“While it may have felt like pressure as a child, it cemented a foundation on how to treat others,” she tells Parade. “As we mature and experience different personalities, we learn to adjust. Being polite shouldn’t feel pressured. It should be second nature. If forced, it’ll be obvious and fake.”

According to Randall, a big issue with “politeness” is that she fears the definition of “polite” gets lost in translation as we grow and society shapes us.

“Some people confuse politeness with weakness, and that’s when it can affect one’s well-being,” she says.

She shares that it doesn’t help that the definition of what’s considered polite can vary from person to person. Still, she warns that sometimes polite behaviors send a message to others that you’re someone who can be “cornered, manipulated or dismissed.”

That is probably not what you’re going for, and even Randall is team “put your oxygen mask on first.”

“I don’t believe we are responsible for anyone else’s well-being other than trying to be aware of signals and responding accordingly,” Randall shares.

Part of owning your well-being and returning another person’s to sender is understanding how certain habits aren’t as well-mannered as we think they are. Instead, they may put our own sanity at risk and do very little to help someone else. Never is that more evident than in one common “polite behavior,” which Randall warns against using in 2026. Here’s why.

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The #1 ‘Polite Behavior’ To Ditch in 2026, According to an Etiquette Expert

Sorry, not sorry, but Randall is begging people to work on saying, “I’m sorry,” as a reflex.

“If ‘sorry’ is used in most of your conversations, it is officially your filler word; similar to the word ‘like’ many people use,” she explains.

She concedes that people use “I’m sorry” for several reasons.

“Saying ‘sorry’ can soften a situation,” she reports. “Upbringing and cultural background can influence our speech patterns and, sometimes, it’s a habit that helps us feel polite.”

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The problem is that it can affect your relationships with others, who may find the habit grating rather than polite.

“It can become a game,” she notes. “Admittedly, I’ve done it once or twice. The receiver loses interest in the topic of conversation and begins focusing on and counting how many times the word is used.”

That’s certainly bad news in the workplace.

“It can also diminish the social or professional status of a person who overuses any phrase or word,” she warns. “It can give the impression of lacking confidence, being unprepared or unsure of oneself. “

But one of the biggest issues with “I’m sorry” is that it can affect any personal relationship because people will become so numb to you saying those two words that they don’t think your apologies are genuine.

“When it really matters, you may have to amp up your apology to differentiate it from your conversational ‘sorry,'” Randall notes.

The good news is that habits can be broken. She suggests asking yourself why you’re using it. Is it for politeness? Do you need to yield to others? Are you hoping for gentler treatment? Once you’ve determined your “why?” you can take practical steps to silence your “I’m sorry.”

“Instead of an old-school ‘swear jar,’ have a ‘sorry’ jar,” she suggests. “When you feel that word ‘sorry’ slipping out, shut your lips and nod instead.”

Alternatively, Randall suggests taking a breath before speaking.

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3 Other Common ‘Polite’ Behaviors To Stop

1. Speaking up on someone else’s behalf

There is certainly a time and place for this, but advocating for someone else requires knowledge of the situation and the people involved. It has to be intentional.

“Interjecting yourself as their advocate might make you feel like a hero,” Randall says. “But when you don’t know why the person isn’t speaking up… it can backfire or put you in an awkward position.”

She shares that you might discreetly offer your assistance before playing advocate.

2. Accepting disrespect so that you don’t rock the boat

It’s possible to set boundaries without making a scene (what someone else does is out of your control).

“Take immediate action by calmly stating, ‘I don’t participate in unproductive conversations. When you’ve gathered your thoughts, I’d be glad to resume this conversation,'” Randall says. “It’s clear and polite.”

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3. Extending your pinkie in the air

Randall says it’s a misconception that this “polite” behavior is high-brow.

“In Roman times, commoners used their five fingers to eat,” Randall says. “A cultured person ate with only three fingers, so they wouldn’t soil their ring finger or pinkie. Because we have dining utensils, it is no longer necessary. In fact, it looks pretentious.”

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3 Quick Etiquette Tips To Keep in Mind for Any Life Situation

1. Reply. Respond. RSVP.

Randall is begging people not to leave others hanging.

“Not replying to a text or email shows a lack of respect for the other person,” Randall says.

It’s far worse than no, which isn’t rude.

“Wouldn’t you rather hear a definite ‘no’ than sit there and wonder?” she asks rhetorically.

She suggests sending a polite response, such as:

“We went another direction.”
“My focus is elsewhere for the time being.”
“My schedule doesn’t permit me to add anything else.”

“This will satisfy the person and get them off your back,” Randall explains.

2. Add attitude and effort to your attire

Randall has noticed the PJ-bottom trend. Her take?

“Like it or not, it’s a thing,” Randall shares. “I have one hard rule: Don’t go out in public in the pair you slept in. You may disagree, but they stink, and they look sloppy. “

On that note, she advises that you follow the dress code—so, if a fashion trend doesn’t fit your super-corporate company culture, PJ bottoms are best saved for when you’re off the clock.

“Attitude and effort simply show that you care about yourself,” Randall states. “Pick the right fabric, color and fit. Pair it with a more structured top and stylish tennis shoes. This equals comfort while expressing your attitude about how you present yourself to the world.”

3. Be more mindful of brief responses

Randall gets it. We’re busy, and emojis, acronyms and fonts save time. However, she warns that we can cross lines with a person and cause issues that weren’t there.

“Use them wisely,” Randall implores. “If the tone or topic of the conversation changes, change with it. Consider clearer and extended responses.”

Try to read the room or between the lines of written communication.

“Follow their lead,” Randall shares. “Reply in kind. If they use abbreviations or emojis, it means they understand it and are OK with it.”

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