Bullying seems to be everywhere all at once – but we can help kids do better | Canada Voices

Ask a Child Psychologist is a new series of columns offering insights and advice on navigating youth emotional and mental well-being. It is not a substitute for professional psychological or medical advice.

As we follow the news these days, we are inundated with examples of bullying on the international stage. For example, many observers were left feeling deeply uncomfortable after February’s heated exchange between U.S. President Donald Trump and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky in the Oval Office.

Some of the families I work with in my clinical practice have voiced concerns that our society may be growing desensitized to bullying behaviour – that it is becoming normalized as not only children but also world leaders and powerbrokers increasingly engage in it. Now more than ever, it is crucial to talk to children about what bullying is and how to stand against it.

Understanding bullying

Bullying takes many forms, including physical and verbal, in person and online. It can happen between peers or even family members. According to Statistic Canada’s 2019 Canadian Health Survey on Children and Youth, 71 per cent of Canadian youth aged 12 to 17 reported experiencing at least one form of bullying in the past 12 months.

The impact of bullying extends far beyond childhood. Victims often experience anxiety, depression, PTSD and low self-esteem, which can lead to social withdrawal and trust issues. Academic struggles and reduced career confidence are also common, as well as chronic stress-related illnesses and sleep disturbances. Some individuals develop unhealthy coping mechanisms such as perfectionism or substance abuse. Without intervention, bullying can perpetuate negative self-perceptions or even abusive cycles. However, recovery is possible through therapy, strong support networks and self-compassion.

Strategies for addressing bullying

Dr. Bonnie Leadbeater, professor emeritus in the department of psychology at the University of Victoria, is one of Canada’s preeminent researchers in bullying. She founded WITS Programs, a conflict resolution program designed to help children respond to peer harassment. The program has been adopted in elementary schools across Canada and internationally.

Leadbeater says some of the behaviours unfolding on the international stage bear striking similarities to the kind of bullying she has observed in her research on children. “Bullying involves an imbalance of power, with repeated acts of aggression over time,” she said. “There is often a central figure leading the bullying but this figure is often supported by others in their network.”

To effectively reduce peer aggression among children and the negative emotional consequences of bullying, she says, parents and teachers must focus less on isolating kids who exhibit negative behaviour and more on fostering their social awareness and responsibility. She explains that peer aggression can either be reinforced and amplified or contained and minimized by an approach that involves families, friends and whole communities. The WITS Programs address four key prevention approaches for students in kindergarten to Grade 7:

1. Build healthy relationships

Teaching children how to form friendships and build strong, positive relationships is crucial. Research shows that having even one good friend can be a powerful protective factor against bullying, as children are less likely to be targeted when they have social support. Encouraging children to engage in cooperative play, group activities and team-based projects can help them develop strong interpersonal skills. Parents and educators should model positive relationships by demonstrating empathy, active listening and conflict resolution in their own interactions. Schools can also foster healthy relationships by creating inclusive environments where all students feel welcome and valued.

2. Value diversity

Encouraging children to appreciate and embrace differences from a young age reduces mistrust of those who are different and helps prevent prejudice and bullying rooted in misunderstanding or fear. When kids learn to value diversity, they are less likely to engage in exclusionary or mean-spirited behaviour. Exposure to diverse cultures, traditions and perspectives through books, discussions and classroom activities can help children develop empathy and open-mindedness. Schools and families can celebrate cultural differences by incorporating multicultural events and inclusive curriculum materials.

3.Teach conflict resolution skills

The WITS strategy – walk away, ignore, talk it out and seek help – provides children with a clear, actionable framework for managing conflicts in a constructive way. Teaching children how to identify their emotions, communicate assertively and listen to others’ perspectives can help them navigate social challenges effectively, without resorting to aggression or avoidance. Role-playing exercises and guided discussions can reinforce these skills, allowing children to practise handling disputes in a supportive setting. Schools can implement peer mediation programs, where trained students help their classmates resolve conflicts peacefully.

4. Contribute to the community

Fostering a sense of belonging and community helps children understand the importance of building each other up rather than tearing each other down. People are less likely to harm something they value, making a strong community a natural antidote to bullying. Encouraging children to participate in community service projects, school clubs and group initiatives can instill a feeling of responsibility and connectedness. When children see themselves as active contributors to their community, they develop a sense of pride and mutual respect. Schools can create mentorship programs where older students support younger peers, fostering positive role models and reinforcing a culture of kindness and support.