Biology offers some plausible clues for why sex might ease the transition to sleep.Drazen_/iStockPhoto / Getty Images
The Sleep Whisperer is a series of columns offering insights and advice about sleep health. It is not a substitute for seeking professional medical care.
We already know that exercise can help us sleep better. What about the kind of physical activity that happens closer to the pillows?
For many, sex and sleep share the same environment – the bedroom – and, according to surveys, the most common time for sex is right before lights out, typically between 11 p.m. and 1 a.m. It’s a natural question: Does what happens under the sheets influence how we sleep?
The short answer: It might help more than we think.
Many people report that sex, especially when it ends in orgasm, leaves them feeling relaxed, drowsy and ready to drift off. In studies from Australia and Norway, a majority of adults said sex before bed helped them fall asleep faster and improved their sleep quality. About 60 per cent of respondents in the Australian study felt they slept better after sex with a partner. That number climbed slightly when orgasm was involved but dipped to roughly 45 per cent when people were talking about masturbation rather than partnered sex. In other words, people tend to perceive more sleep benefits when intimacy includes another person.
But perception isn’t proof.
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Few studies have tested this in a sleep lab, where brain waves and sleep stages can be measured objectively. A study done in Montreal in the 1980s compared sleep after reading quietly, masturbating without orgasm and masturbating with orgasm. Researchers didn’t find meaningful differences in sleep architecture between conditions. However, this was a very small study (there were only 10 participants, five men and five women) and, to my knowledge, the effects of partnered sex have not yet been studied this way – fair to say the field could use an update.
Still, biology offers some plausible clues for why sex might ease the transition to sleep.
After orgasm, the body releases a cocktail of hormones and neurochemicals associated with calm and contentment. Oxytocin – sometimes called the “bonding hormone” – rises. Prolactin, which has been linked to sexual satisfaction and relaxation, also increases. Endorphins create a sense of well-being. Meanwhile, cortisol, the stress hormone that keeps us alert, tends to drop. It’s almost the perfect biochemical recipe for sleepiness.
Do these effects look the same for everyone?
Not exactly.
Across studies, men are slightly more likely than women to report that sex with a partner helps them fall asleep. Women are also more likely to say that sex sometimes makes it harder to settle down. Interestingly, those differences seem to disappear when the focus is specifically on orgasm rather than intercourse itself.
One possible explanation is what researchers sometimes call the “orgasm gap.” During partnered sex, men report reaching orgasm more consistently than women. If orgasm is one of the key drivers of post-sex sleep enhancement, that difference alone could explain why sleep benefits aren’t felt equally.
Energy expenditure may also play a role. Some studies suggest men burn more calories during intercourse, which could add a bit more physical tiredness. But the science here is far from settled – and it’s important to remember that sleep and sexuality are shaped by much more than biology, including comfort, stress levels, relationship dynamics and personal preferences.
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The relationship goes both ways: While sex might help sleep, good sleep clearly helps sex.
Chronic sleep problems are linked to sexual difficulties. Sleep apnea, for example, has been associated with lower testosterone in men. This sleep disorder, characterized by repeated breathing difficulties, roughly doubles the risk of erectile dysfunction and female sexual dysfunction. Encouragingly, these problems often improve for both males and females when apnea is treated – if you needed extra motivation to use your CPAP machine, consider this it.
Insomnia tells a similar story. People who consistently struggle with falling or staying asleep report lower sexual satisfaction and worse sexual dysfunctions. Fatigue, mood changes and stress – all hallmarks of poor sleep – are hardly aphrodisiacs.
Then there’s the emotional piece.
Healthy relationships and good sleep tend to reinforce each other. Feeling close to your partner can ease stress and promote positive mood, which supports better sleep. Also, when we sleep well, we are more patient, better disposed to regulate our emotions and understand our partner’s perspectives, and well equipped to navigate the inevitable bumps of daily life together. Research from British Columbia has even shown that higher relationship satisfaction is linked with longer and better quality sleep.
So maybe it’s not just about sex. Maybe it’s about connection.
All in all, don’t think of sleep and intimacy as competing for time. They may actually support each other.
This Valentine’s Day, you might not need to choose between an early bedtime and a little romance. One might just lead to the other.
Dr. Rébecca Robillard, PhD, is a clinical neuropsychologist and associate professor at the School of Psychology at the University of Ottawa. She also leads clinical sleep research at The Royal mental health hospital. Robillard’s main area of work focuses on interactions between mental health, the sleeping brain and the sleeping heart. She co-chairs the Canadian Sleep Research Consortium, a national hub of sleep scientists and clinicians.
