Dating is political – and the divide feels wider than ever | Canada Voices

In my early years of dating, I had very few requirements: He has to have enough hair for me to run my fingers through, he should be able to make me laugh (like, for real) and he’s got to be taller than me. (As a woman of barely five feet, that last one was easy.) The simpler my standards, the more unfortunate my dating prospects were, though the pool was bottomless.

As I got older, appearance became less important, while other things topped the growing checklist: has a job, a group of friends, can cook and clean for himself, is kind and emotionally intelligent. Also – and here’s where it gets especially tough – his politics should align with mine.

According to countless surveys, women do tend to care more about political alignment than men when it comes to dating, and are also more liberal (shocker!). In 2026, pretending that politics is some optional personality add-on feels dishonest at best and doomed at worst. Research shows that political values play an important role in relationship satisfaction, especially for younger generations.

The Sleep Whisperer: Can better sleep lead to better sex – and vice versa?

Unsurprisingly, dating apps have evolved to reflect this reality. Where height and hobbies once dominated one’s profile, now you’ll also find political party affiliations, Black Lives Matter badges, watermelons for Palestine and vaccine disclosures. Conservative markers include MAGA stamps and mentions of faith-based beliefs and traditional gender roles. They signal world views, which say a hell of a lot about a person’s values.

When I log into my dating apps now, it’s rare to see a profile absent of at least one marker like this, as if more people are realizing that political alignment can be incredibly foundational to a relationship – whether that’s one that is romantic, social or familial.

What’s surprising isn’t that dating has gotten more political, though – it’s how stark the divide feels. I’ve lost count of how many profiles I’ve swiped past, not because of boring prompts or yet another fish photo, but because our values don’t line up.

Sometimes that disconnect is explicit. Sometimes it’s coded. And sometimes it’s the ugliest red flag of all: “not political.” Yuck. To me, being political is inherent to being human. Especially taking into consideration the rolling back of rights, climate disasters, continuing genocides and rising authoritarianism, there is no room for neutrality in my world.

Needless to say, this dramatically shrinks the dating pool, but I’m okay with that. I’m not turned on by devil’s advocates. I’m not interested in “healthy debate” about immigration, abortion or trans rights. I don’t want to hear “both sides” of issues that directly affect people I love or people who look like me. You either understand or are actively trying to understand why these things matter, or you don’t. Time is of the essence.

Which is why, about a half-hour into first dates, my key screening question remains the same: “What do you think of Joe Rogan or Jordan Peterson?”

Take note, does your date use the word “female” to describe women? (Conservative podcast bros tend to use the word in a dehumanizing, negative tone implying inferiority.) Or do they get visibly angry when the bill arrives and you don’t immediately reach for your wallet? Great, now I’ve learned how you view women and power, and who you look up to. More broadly, I have a sense of how you might handle future conflict, shared finances or household labour.

Five dating profile red flags (and how to fix them)

This isn’t about ideological purity or moral grandstanding. It is, and has always been, about compatibility. According to one 2024 survey, almost 75 per cent of people have previously fought with their significant other about a political matter. Generally speaking, like prefers to date like. Liberal-leaning folks are attracted to other liberal folks, and more conservative folks tend to have a thing for similarly conservative folks, while opposite views lower attraction.

In fact, according to a 2024 survey by Coffee Meets Bagel, a dating app that targets folks keen on a serious, long-term relationship, 83 per cent of respondents said they would consider ending a relationship over differing political views. After all, constantly having to explain, justify or defend your point of view is exhausting.

And here’s the thing: Women no longer need to tolerate misalignment. Today, we are more financially independent, socially connected and emotionally fulfilled than ever before. We don’t need partners for survival, status or stability. And if we do want to be in a relationship, we want it to be with someone who cares about the issues that affect us. I’d rather be single than spend happy hour debating basic human rights with six feet of bad opinions.