Many people still have misconceptions about the value of therapy and doubt whether it’s truly helpful.FatCamera/Getty Images
Chances are, you or someone you know goes to therapy. In recent years, psychotherapy, or talk therapy, has exploded into the mainstream. Maybe it’s just my professional bias as a therapist, but I’d say that’s a great thing. Yet many people still have misconceptions about the value of therapy and doubt whether it’s truly helpful.
If you’re considering therapy but unsure whether it’s right for you, here are my answers to four questions I often hear.
What’s the point of talking about my problems?
Our ability to verbally communicate our needs and emotional experiences is one of the most powerful tools we have as human beings. Naming our pain does not make us weak, it makes us aware.
We communicate from the moment we’re born. A newborn’s cry can signal hunger, discomfort or a desire for connection. When that need is met, a sense of calm returns. As we grow, we experience a wider range of emotions, including joy, sadness, anger and love.
But with age comes complexity, and sometimes deeper, more complicated struggles such as loss, trauma or emotional pain. These experiences often go unspoken and remain buried beneath the surface when we don’t have the tools or the courage to express them. Rather than facing these feelings, we might suppress, deny or erupt. Over time, this can give rise to unhealthy coping mechanisms and a growing disconnection, not only from others, but also from ourselves.
Talk therapy helps satisfy our need for expression by reducing emotional burden, releasing tension, validating emotions, increasing self-awareness and clarifying thoughts. It also provides opportunities to confront struggles, gain introspection, manage anxieties, heal from past wounds and cultivate healthier ways of thinking, feeling and relating to ourselves and others.
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Isn’t therapy only for people with severe mental health issues?
I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard this question. To it, I say: People visit the doctor for all kinds of reasons, not just emergencies. Mental health deserves the same range of attention.
Psychotherapy offers a safe, supportive space to explore our inner world away from everyday challenges, such as relational conflicts, life transitions, grief, anxiety, burnout (work), low self-esteem, divorce and separation
It can also help treat more complex mental health conditions, often in tandem with psychiatric or medical care, including depression, trauma, personality disorders, behavioural Issues, eating disorders, addiction and chronic illness or pain.
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Why would I pay to talk to a stranger when I can just talk to my friends or family?
There is no doubt that meaningful conversations with those who care about us can be deeply therapeutic. However, the role of a therapist is fundamentally different from that of a loved one. Therapists are trained to listen without judgment, to recognize patterns, to ask deeper and more nuanced questions, to guide without bias and to hold space for our experiences in ways that friends and family sometimes can’t. Therapy is a space that is entirely devoted to you – your time, your needs, your healing.
Therapy isn’t about replacing loved ones, it’s about relieving them, and you, of expectations people may not be equipped to meet. Therapy is not about venting or merely exchanging words; it’s about fostering connection, trust and healing.
Many people also confide during sessions that they’ve become the “therapist” in their relationships – typically with a partner, sibling or parent – and feel emotionally drained by the role. This alone speaks volumes. While it’s wonderful to support one another, it’s not sustainable or fair to expect loved ones to carry that kind of emotional weight.
As a therapist, I don’t seek to eliminate feelings; I create space for them and gently witness what arises. I do this by helping individuals learn to navigate their emotional landscape with greater awareness and resilience. Sometimes, the most powerful thing we can offer isn’t advice or a solution, it’s the space to be seen and heard.
A recent conversation with a psychiatry client reinforced this truth. She wondered whether she had truly helped her patient. While she had prescribed medication, she felt the dosage was too small to make an immediate impact. In a later session, she realized that the real difference wasn’t in the prescription but in the atmosphere she had created. By simply listening without judgment, without rushing to fix, she had given her patient something invaluable: the freedom to express, to be heard and to feel understood.
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I’m too old to change, so what’s the point of therapy now?
While it’s true that by around age 25 the brain has established many of its habitual patterns, research in neuroscience shows that it remains capable of change throughout life. This is a concept known as neuroplasticity. Meditation and therapy can help rewire thought patterns, emotional responses and behaviours even in older adulthood. In other words, it’s never too late to grow or to heal.
As people age, they frequently face major life transitions that therapy can help to navigate. Later life can be a particularly meaningful time for growth, as older adults often bring a wealth of life experience and perspective that can enrich the therapeutic process. Just as with other areas of mental health, there are therapists who specialize in this stage of life.
Anita Owusu holds a master of social work and is a registered social worker and psychotherapist in private practice. She is also a clinical field supervisor to masters students in social work, psychotherapy at the University of Toronto and a contributor to Psychology Today.
