How to build community, one ‘hi, neighbour’ at a time | Canada Voices

I am fortunate to be surrounded by wonderful friends and family and I consider myself far from alone. And yet, last year I found myself longing for a greater sense of community – beyond my own circle.

I wanted to feel connected to individuals from different walks of life, to experience small but meaningful interactions with new and interesting people, to feel a part of something bigger than myself and my immediate circle. So I set out to do what most terrifies many of of us: put myself in situations where I’d be forced to talk to strangers. Since I love to sing, my first step was to join a choir – a group that has now become an important part of my life.

I suspect I’m not alone in this craving for community. Despite living in a time of intense digital connection, many Canadians report feeling lonely. According to Statistics Canada, 36.9 per cent of Canadians feel lonely sometimes, while 13.4 per cent feel this way often or always.

If social isolation is the cause of loneliness, community is the cure, says Julie Aitken Schermer, a psychology professor at Western University who researches loneliness and community.

“ Feeling like you matter to somebody else – not just within your family, but to your community – leads to greater satisfaction and happiness,” Aitken Schermer said. “ You’ve got to feel like you’re not invisible.”

Trina Read, a 57-year-old sex and relationship expert in Calgary, is a natural introvert who retreated during the pandemic. Eventually, she too found herself longing for more connection.

“I have a tight-knit, loving family but I was still lonely and craved interactions,” the mom of two said.

Read now regularly attends networking events, volunteers and hosts a group for women entrepreneurs – all for the sake of camaraderie. She said pushing herself out of her comfort zone gives her something to look forward to and has transformed her mental health.

Feeling part of a wider group with shared interests or goals is a protective factor for your mental health, explains Amma Gyamfowa, a registered social worker in Ajax, Ont. Persistent loneliness, on the other hand, can put you at greater risk for physical and mental health issues, including depression and anxiety.

If you’re looking to build more community in the year ahead, here are some ideas for how to get started.

Introduce yourself to your neighbour

What is perhaps the simplest way to build community may also seem like the most daunting to some people: Talk to your neighbours.

In her research, Aitken Schermer found those who live in urban areas with high-density housing are less likely to know their neighbours than those in rural neighbourhoods, and they tend to be lonelier as a result. But this tried and true approach can have a major effect on your sense of belonging. “You can actually alleviate sensations of loneliness by just saying hello to your neighbour,” Aitken Schermer said.

Gyamfowa agrees and said small actions like this one can have a big impact. ”Sometimes it’s not these big, grand changes – it’s these little day-to-day things that allow us to feel more connected in our daily lives.”

Join a gym

Physical activity boosts mental health but doing it with others is even better.

While it may be tempting to limit your exercise routine to an at-home Pilates video, joining a gym is a great way to meet people while also motivating you to work out harder.

“Oftentimes, when it comes to our goals, we need the encouragement of other people,” Gyamfowa said. “Exercise is a natural remedy for a lot of the challenges that we experience, and being able to connect with your own body as well as the people around you is so important.”

Do the thing you love with others

Research has shown that having hobbies, whether gardening, dancing or painting, is strongly linked to improved mental health and quality of life. Engaging in hobbies with others can be even more beneficial – while helping us meet new people.

“When we’re doing something that we love, it takes away some of our stress and allows us to invest in the things that feel good to us,” Gyamfowa said. “When we’re having positive social interactions at the same time, we feel more relaxed, we feel more calm.”

Spend time in free public spaces

Being in the company of others doesn’t have to cost money. Spending time in free public spaces, including parks, libraries or squares can be another great way to connect with people, according to Nadha Hassen, a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Toronto who studies how public spaces help build community.

Public spaces are one kind of “third space,” a term that refers to anywhere besides work or home where people can gather. Research has shown that they greatly enrich social interaction and sense of belonging.

“Public spaces allow for opportunities for people to connect with themselves, connect with others, connect with their neighbourhoods, connect with nature,” Hassen said. “These spaces encourage lingering so that we’re not just moving rapidly through them, but actually taking the time to be and enjoy.”

When public spaces are animated with free, accessible events, such as art fairs or group walks, they become even more conducive to social cohesion, Hassen added.

Volunteer your time

Giving your time to help make another person’s life better can help you feel connected to like-minded people while also making a positive difference in your community.

“A lot of people struggle with feeling a sense of powerlessness given everything that’s going on in the world,” Gyamfowa explained. “Having those types of enriched communities that we pour into helps us feel like we have power, connection and the ability to impact others positively.”

Consider volunteering at your local food bank, faith-based organization or other non-profit group serving vulnerable populations.