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Car accidents, even the small ones, can leave lasting effects—especially on children. I know because I’ve been there.
A few years ago, I was driving on a snowy day with my two-year-old son in the backseat. The roads were slick, visibility was terrible, and despite my husband’s best efforts, another car slid into us as he made a left hand turn. Thankfully, no one was hurt, but the fear in my son’s eyes and the anxiety I felt afterward still stay with me.
If you’ve been in a car accident with your child, you were likely understandably overwhelmed. As a parent, you instinctively want to protect your child both physically and emotionally. While I’m not an expert, I wanted to write this guide because I wish I’d had one back then.
Here’s what helped us and what I’ve learned since.
1. Check for Injuries (Even If They Don’t Complain)
In the immediate aftermath, check your child for any signs of injury. Keep in mind that adrenaline can reduce pain temporarily, so your child might not feel discomfort right away. Here’s a helpful article on adrenaline and how it impacts pain.
Even if your child insists they’re fine, it’s a good idea to have a doctor evaluate them as soon as possible. Kids can’t always articulate what they’re feeling, and injuries like whiplash or internal bruising might not show obvious symptoms right away.
2. Handle the Practicalities
While your primary focus is on your child’s well-being, the practicalities of the accident can’t be ignored. If another driver was at fault or there are insurance issues, consider consulting with a professional. A lawyer who deals with car accidents can help you sort through the legal and financial side, so you have one less thing to stress about.
3. Address Their Emotional Needs
Kids process trauma differently than adults. If the accident was upsetting for your child, he or she might become clingier, have trouble sleeping, or even act out in the days following the accident. Be patient and give them extra comfort during this time.
One thing that helped us was creating a safe space for my son to talk—or not talk. I’d say, “Do you want to tell me how you’re feeling about the crash?” Sometimes he’d nod, and sometimes he’d just cuddle up in silence, which was okay too.
4. Stick to Routine
Routines give kids a sense of normalcy and security, especially after something unexpected like a car accident. Stick to familiar bedtime routines, mealtimes, and daily activities as much as possible. It might take a little extra effort, but the consistency can help your child feel grounded.
5. Seek Professional Support
If your child continues to struggle emotionally, consider reaching out to a therapist who specializes in childhood trauma. They can provide tools to help your child process their feelings in a healthy way. You don’t have to navigate this alone.
6. Reassure Your Child
Accidents can be scary, especially for kids. After the initial shock wears off, they might feel confused, scared, or even guilty. Let them know that what happened wasn’t their fault and that they’re safe now. A calm, steady voice can work wonders in soothing their nerves.
For example, I remember sitting in the car with my son after our fender bender, holding his tiny hand and saying, “We’re okay. Mommy’s here. The car might be hurt, but we’re not.” He didn’t say much, but I could see his little shoulders relax.
7. Talk About Safety in a Positive Way
After an accident, your child might feel nervous about being in a car again. When you’re ready to drive, talk about the steps you take to keep everyone safe—like wearing seatbelts, driving slowly, and being extra careful on slippery roads. This can help rebuild their confidence.
For us, singing silly songs during car rides helped make the car feel like a fun place again.
8. Give Yourself Grace
Finally, don’t forget to take care of yourself too. It’s easy to focus so much on your child that you neglect your own emotional health. Whether it’s talking to a friend, journaling, or just taking a quiet moment after the kids are in bed, find a way to process your own feelings about the accident.
Final Thoughts
Being in a car accident with your child is upsetting, but it doesn’t have to leave lasting scars. By addressing their emotional and physical needs, sticking to routines, and seeking support when needed, you can help your child bounce back stronger.
If you ever find yourself in this situation, remember—you’re not alone. I hope this guide brings you some comfort and practical advice. If nothing else, know that kids are incredibly resilient, especially when they have a parent like you who’s there to guide them through the tough times.
