Hulu’s new time-travel movie is Looper but dumb

Last week, Netflix film chief Dan Lin fired back at reports that the streamer forces screenwriters to repeat major plot points to cater to a distracted audience. “There is no such principle,” Lin told the press. To be honest, I don’t believe him. Too many Hollywood insiders have stated otherwise for this to just be an unfounded rumor. There’s little doubt that Netflix is dumbing down its dialogue so viewers can follow the plot while also scrolling on Instagram, and it appears that strategy is spreading to other streamers, too.

Case in point: Hulu original Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice, a movie best described as Rian Johnson’s modern sci-fi classic Looper for people who need something to look at while answering emails. (Although as I soon learned, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. More on that a little later.)

Both movies feature organized crime and time-travel paradoxes, but that’s where the similarities end. Written and directed by BenDavid Grabinski, Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice offers plenty of quippy comedy and some passable action sequences, but Grabinski ultimately isn’t brave enough (or perhaps unshackled enough) to do anything interesting with what should be a strong premise.

The story begins on the night Quick Draw Mike (James Marsden) dies. At least, that’s what’s supposed to happen, until his fellow gangster Nick (Vince Vaughn) travels back in time to stop it. After a bit of confusion, Mike, future Nick, present Nick, and Nick’s wife Alice (Eliza González) team up to stop the murder. One other thing: Alice is sleeping with Mike, and Nick knows it, which is why he tried to have Mike killed in the first place, and only came to regret the decision after the deed was done.

It’s a lot to follow, and Grabinski holds the audience’s hand throughout the movie. Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice repeats those basic plot points multiple times throughout its 107-minute runtime, using the fact that each new character has to understand why there are two Nicks as an excuse to recap the premise once again. One of the funniest moments occurs when Alice immediately gets what’s happening with no explanation needed, temporarily bringing the film’s comfortable rhythm to a screeching halt.

The love triangle between Mike, Nick, and Alice also gets rehashed throughout the film. A lot of that is just repeated jokes about who’s cheating on who. So in case you weren’t paying attention when their affair was first introduced, you won’t miss the vital piece of information that helps explain the entire plot.

Image: Hulu

Here’s the part of the review where I make my big confession: I’m part of the problem. Disney sent me a screener so I could watch this movie at home, and I threw it on last Sunday morning while cooking breakfast. At the start of the film, I was so distracted chopping potatoes and whisking eggs that I missed a bunch of the setup and assumed Mike and Alice were the couple. It took multiple gentle nudges from Grabinski’s unsubtle script for me to realize they were actually having an affair.

I’m not saying this to embarrass myself, or to defend Hulu and any other streaming services targeting distracted viewers. I’m saying it to explain that now I understand why movies get made the way they do these days. Watching a film in a movie theater with the lights off and your phone on silent is a totally different experience from watching at home with a million distractions. The problem isn’t Hulu, it’s me.

As much as I hate to admit it, humanity isn’t going to get any better at paying attention in the near future. The internet is only getting more addictive, after all. Not all filmmakers should cater to this bleak reality (most shouldn’t), but there’s also a time and a place for a movie that’s designed to be a bit more forgiving.

Image: Hulu

All that said, while Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice isn’t a bad movie, it’s not a very smart one. Constant plot recapping aside, this is a quick-moving comedy with plenty to enjoy. Marsden is as likable as ever, even as a seedy gangster. González is a total badass. And Vaughn continues to do the same smooth-talking shtick he’s done for decades, and it still works. (Though I’m increasingly having trouble separating the actor’s MAGA leanings from his on-screen performances.)

The action is solid, too: heavy on gunfire but never particularly impressive. It’s fun watching two versions of Vaughn team up to take on an army of gangsters, but that’s the only way Grabinski manages to get creative with his choreography. The action is also sometimes incredibly stupid, mostly in a fun way but occasionally in an annoying one, like when a supporting character dies after throwing himself through a window for no reason.

If Looper didn’t exist, Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice might feel more impressive. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. For the time being, Rian Johnson’s time-travel crime movie continues to be the gold standard example of mixing the time-travel and crime-movie genres — at least until Grabinski can get his hands on an actual time machine and erase Looper from existence.

Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice debuts Friday, March 27 on Hulu.