I am crawling through a decidedly cosy tunnel inside the Great Pyramid of Giza, and – let’s be real – I’m totally freaking out. The tallest man-made structure in the world for 3,800 years (until it was bested by the dastardly Lincoln Cathedral in 1311), this primo pyramid stands at a whopping 140 metres, still outscaling the Statue of Liberty and far loftier than Big Ben. Yet despite its legendary status, it turns out that its hot, sweaty and deeply claustrophobic innards can be a little bit intense. Who knew?!
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I’m not sure I’d ever thought about venturing inside the oldest of the Seven Wonders of the World, suffice to say I’m now in a queue that would make the lunchtime line outside London’s Toad Bakery look pathetic. I’m also on my hands and knees, trying not to bash my head into rocks that were placed here well over 4,000 years ago.
It’s only about 100 metres from the Pyramid’s entrance to get to the King’s Chamber, which is empty apart from the stone sarcophagus of Khufu, having been ransacked for shiny golden grave goods millennia ago. Despite being such a short distance, it takes about 15 minutes to reach because of all the single-file queuing and crawling involved in getting there. The King’s Chamber itself is a small room and oddly resembles a Boiler Room broadcast, thanks to the sarcophagus looking not unlike decks and a man standing confidently behind it, seemingly deep in a mix.
The tomb itself is tiny, and there’s not much to do apart from stand there feeling pink, sticky and overwhelmed, while a lone security guard offers to take your photo and tells you to keep the noise down. Times have evidently changed a bit since occultist Aleister Crowley and his wife spent the night there during their honeymoon and performed various rituals in 1904.
After five minutes of deep breathing and attempts to comprehend just how old this structure is (and how the hell it was built), it’s time to head back out again, and we return to the daylight red-faced and stunned.
Is it one of the most magical experiences of my life? Yes. Would I do it again? Absolutely not.
A trip inside a pyramid is just one of many once-in-a-lifetime experiences that have been squeezed into an epic three-and-a-half-day trip to Cairo. I’m here as part of a Jules Verne tour, which has our small group pottering around the Memphis (the ancient capital of Egypt), the Saqqara necropolis, the Step Pyramid of Djoser, and the Great Sphinx of Giza on the first day, then strutting through the brand-new Great Egyptian Museum the next, with a quick break for lunch aboard a traditional felucca sailboat down the Nile.
The third day is a whistlestop tour through the past two millennia, dedicated to Biblical-era churches, medieval fortresses and the oldest synagogue in the world, all part of the UNESCO World Heritage Site that is Old Cairo. There’s also time for a home-cooked meal (featuring seriously good stuffed courgettes and juicy chicken pane) with a friendly Egyptian family and their chaotic kitten.
All of this is done in the capable hands of a local guide who knows more about Egypt than any history podcast. Moustafa is a walking, talking textbook, pummelling us with facts at every turn. Want to hear about the lives of the pharaohs, from the trailblazing queen Hatshepsut to the mighty Ramesses II? The irrepressible Moustafa, an off-duty archaeologist, has all the answers.
Cairo is the kind of place where a guide comes into their own, filtering 5000 years into digestible nuggets while we drive around the sprawling city and traverse epic traffic in our tour van. This dedicated driver, set up by Jules Verne, is with us for the duration of the trip – airport transfers included – meaning we’ve bypassed the usual logistical holiday legwork of Ubers and Google Maps.
Of course, we’re not the only group trip in Cairo, but ours is one of the smallest, meaning there’s no need for impersonal earpieces and radio mics. Instead, we’re able to develop a chatty rapport with our guide, which proves especially useful as we walk around the vast Great Egyptian Museum.
Only open for just over a month when we visit, this is the largest museum in the world dedicated to a single culture; work on the building started in 2002, and it contains over 100,000 items. We’re here for almost four hours and still hardly make a dent – you could spend an entire morning simply strolling through the lobby.
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The main draw is the complete King Tutankhamun tomb collection of over 5,000 shiny artefacts, including his iconic gold funerary mask. To call this instantly recognisable piece of history breathtaking would do it a disservice. It might be 3,500-odd years old, but it remains thrillingly extra. It’s also nice to see the mask (and everything else) where it belongs, at home in Egypt.
Looking for an action-packed long weekend, and fancy cramming 5,000 years into three days? This is exactly the trip to do it on – pyramid-induced panic attack optional.
Leonie Cooper travelled to Egypt as a guest on Jules Verne’s Gems of Cairo: Pyramids & Museums tour, starting from £1,685pp with flights, based on two people sharing a room. Our reviews and recommendations have been editorially independent since 1968. For more, see our editorial guidelines.
