I’ve been thinking about creating a button that says, “Yes, I’m fat now!” It’s easier to declare than watching that flicker of shock on acquaintances’ faces.
I knew that perimenopause and, subsequently, menopause would bring a myriad of physical changes. I endured the hot flashes, surprise menstrual periods and wild mood swings. I began doing pelvic therapy exercises to stop me from peeing when I sneeze. But I was unprepared for my body shape to dramatically shift.
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While I appreciate that celebrities such as Halle Berry and Naomi Watts are sharing their menopause journeys through Oprah Winfrey-hosted specials and book deals, we don’t hear often enough from regular women on this topic. Considering that weight gain is so common, its absence in this current menopause discourse only reinforces feelings of shame and isolation.
I decided it was important for me to understand what was happening to my body before I could accept my new plus size. So I reached out to Kelsey Mills, who practices general obstetrics and gynecology in Victoria, B.C., and is on the medical advisory board of the Menopause Foundation of Canada.
According to Mills, there are many reasons why women may gain weight as they age, including genetic makeup and a decrease in estrogen production, although estrogen’s exact role is still being researched.
“As we enter the perimenopausal transition, our metabolics really do start to change,” Mills said. While some people may find relief in hormone replacement therapy, it is not necessarily a panacea for everyone. “Oftentimes people have to take a whole-body approach to weight transition,” she said.
A key point I have learned is that it’s vital to take care of yourself, physically and mentally, during this time of life. Here are four tips for navigating menopause and weight gain.
1. Skip the wine and reach for fibre
As we age, many of us find it challenging to metabolize alcohol, and for some women alcohol can exacerbate menopause symptoms such as hot flashes. The topic came up in a recent episode of clean-living evangelist Gwenyth Paltrow’s Goop podcast when she described how alcohol made her menopause symptoms worse. Mills advises limiting your alcohol consumption, or abstaining, if possible.
She also recommends prioritizing protein with every meal. And although carbohyate-heavy foods are an easy option for busy lives, Mills emphasizes the importance of fibre ingested through whole-food plant sources such as whole grains and legumes, which “play a huge role in satiety and gut management.” According to Health Canada, women need 25 grams of fibre per day, but most of us are only ingesting about half that, so stock up on nuts and legumes.
2. Build your strength
Another factor that can lead to weight gain with menopause is simply that as we age, we often become more sedentary. “We’re burning fewer calories and that can have a major impact on weight management,” Mills said.
While there are no negatives to low-impact exercise such as yoga or cardio workouts on the treadmill, Mills recommends lifting heavy weights for a minimum of three 30-minute strength- or resistance-training sessions each week. “It’s really important for bone health,” she explained. “Osteoporosis is the most common bone disease affecting women in North America, and it’s also important for protecting muscle loss. When we lose muscle mass as women as we age, we’re losing the big calorie burner in our bodies.”
3. Set social media boundaries
Women have long been judged based on their physical appearances, but social media has turned this cruelness into a sport thanks to trolling commenters, online “thinspiration” influencers and the constant feed of images celebrating the long-held ideal that skinny is perfection.
Ramanpreet Annie Bahra, a contract faculty member in the department of sociology at Wilfrid Laurier University in Waterloo, Ont.,and co-editor of the anthology Fat Studies in Canada: (Re)Mapping the Field, recommends blocking words or phrases on social media platforms that may upset you or reinforce negativity.
Thanks to her advice, I discovered that removing “Ozempic” and “weight loss” from my Instagram feed has reduced the number of fat-shaming posts I scroll by. Now I can enjoy the dancing cat videos in peace.
4. Reset how you view your body
If you grew up in an era where fat suits were a hilarious sitcom gag, like I did, it can be hard to wrestle with the weight gain that often accompanies this stage of life. On top of that, finding medical professionals who are knowledgeable about menopause care is still a challenge. Many simply dismiss patients’ concerns by advising more exercise, self-control or weight-loss drugs.
Just as difficult can be changing how we view our own physicality so that we can better advocate for ourselves in the doctor’s office. Bahra acknowledges it can be exhausting but says the first step is finding self-compassion when we think about our physical bodies, regardless of our shape. “There is so much that your body does for you,” Bahra said. “The way you carry yourself, the way you work. It nourishes you in your own way.”
