Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last penny.
This week: “I’m a 36-year-old senior charity manager living in Leeds. Originally from Northern Ireland, I moved for university and except for a few years when I moved back, I’ve been living in Leeds pretty much ever since. I’ve been with my partner, O, for over a decade and we’re happily child-free — we both appreciate the freedom this gives us and I’m grateful for the life we’ve built together. Sadly my mum died last year (she was ill with dementia for several years). I’m close with my dad and two sisters so it’s been hard to not live close to each other during this time but we have all done the best we can to support each other and I try to visit every few months too. Losing my mum also made me re-evaluate my life (it’s a cliche because it’s true!) and I decided to leave my previous job at another charity. I started a new job at a bereavement charity about three months ago and went down to part-time hours. It’s definitely been an adjustment and I miss my old colleagues but my new role offers a much better work-life balance. I hope my mum would be proud of me.”
Occupation: Head of Services
Industry: Charity sector
Age: 36
Location: Leeds
Salary: £42,568 for four days a week (£52,500 FTE)
Paycheque Amount: £2,677
Number of housemates: Two (my husband O and my dog F)
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses
Housing costs: £352 for my half of our mortgage, we were lucky to lock in a five year fixed rate mortgage at 0.99% interest in 2021. I also have Sprive, which transfers small amounts directly from my current account towards mortgage overpayment. I usually overpay about £45 a month.
Loan payments: £131 student loan, paid directly from my salary.
Savings?: £5,400 across three savings accounts, £600 in a stocks and shares ISA and £350 across a few sinking funds which I build up or use as needed, £1,350 in a joint savings account which we dip into for shared expenses.
Pension? Yes, I have a workplace pension — my employer pays 8%. I currently don’t pay in, but plan to start contributing in the next tax year once I’m settled into my new job. I also have about £35k in a consolidated pot from previous pensions.
Utilities: £85.50 council tax, £82.50 gas and electric, £20.50 water, internet £15.50.
All other monthly payments: £22.38 phone, £20 donation to local community pantry, £21.20 donation to Abortion Support Network, £35 life insurance, £17.50 pet insurance, £1.50 bank monthly charge, £21-£30 for a dog walker. Subscriptions: £5.49 Netflix, £25 Liberty beauty subscription, £11.99 Spotify, £16 Fussy deodorant refills,£7.99 Estrid razor refills, both every three months. £80 TV licence, £200 house insurance, £110 car service and MOT, £300 car insurance, all yearly.
Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, I did an undergraduate degree (law) and a master’s degree (psychology) a few years later. I got a student loan for my undergraduate (covering £3k yearly fees plus a maintenance loan), my parents covered the cost of my accommodation and I worked temp jobs in the holidays to cover other costs. I took a graduate loan out for my master’s degree (I paid this off about six years ago), worked an admin job part-time during the course and my parents kindly also paid £200 per month towards my rent to help make ends meet.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money?
My dad was a self-employed financial advisor before retiring, so we spoke about money openly and my parents did educate us on finances, including how to build a good credit score by having a credit card and ensuring it was paid off in full each month. My parents worked very hard to ensure we had everything we needed growing up, including a family holiday each year (usually camping in France) but they were pretty frugal day-to-day. Mum also told me that when I was small, my dad’s then business partner left the company suddenly without explanation which caused a lot of financial strain and there were times when she was putting groceries back at the supermarket because she didn’t have enough money to pay for them. I think that stayed with them even when times weren’t as tight.
If you have, when did you move out of your parents/guardians house?
I moved to Leeds for uni at 18 and graduated in 2009 during the recession so it was a challenge to find stable employment and I moved home at 21. I then went travelling with a friend and moved back in with my parents after a break up at one point, but I moved out for good when I moved back to Leeds in 2013.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself? Does anyone else cover any aspects of your financial life?
My parents have been incredibly supportive and never charged me rent when I moved back home (though I helped out around the house as much as I could, to contribute). I’ve been fully financially responsible for myself since I finished my master’s degree at 27, though my partner and I have shared costs since we moved in together around the same time.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
My parents encouraged me and my sisters to find jobs to increase our independence, so I got a Saturday job as a waitress when I was 14.
Do you worry about money now?
I know how privileged I am as without the generational wealth I’ve had access to (through my own parents and O’s parents) I would be in a very different place in terms of financial security and definitely wouldn’t be a homeowner. I’m fortunate to earn enough to cover my living expenses and have money left over for small luxuries but I do think about what I’m spending every day and I sometimes feel guilty that I haven’t been able to save more or make a bigger contribution to causes I care about.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?
My parents gifted me £9k when I turned 21 as a way of ‘equalising’ me with my older sisters (they both went to uni before tuition fees came in). I spent this on travel and a training course in my 20s. They also gave me and O £10,000 towards our wedding and I got £200 when my grandmother died. O’s parents generously gifted us around £175k in total towards our house deposits (we bought our first house in 2017 and moved to our current house in 2021). They have also given O various amounts to help with house renovations over the years, which I have benefited from too.
6:55 a.m. — Wake up, quick cuddle with O before we head downstairs to let the dog out, feed him and make drinks.
7 a.m. — Snuggle with the dog, while reading the news and doing my daily Irish lesson on Duolingo. It’s pay day so I move some money into various pots and transfer my monthly contribution (£1,000) into our joint account towards our shared bills (including food). O pays a little more in and sometimes takes on specific expenses, as he earns more.
8 a.m. — Shower, dress and make breakfast — a cup of Yorkshire tea, a piece of toast and a banana.
8:45 a.m. — O finished painting the dining room ceiling last night so I clear up the dust sheets and give the room a hoover and mop.
9:20 a.m. — Walk to yoga — I’m really lucky to live close to a great studio and try to go regularly. I did a yoga teacher training course a few years ago and I’m quite picky when it comes to classes as a result! This morning it’s a challenging flow class.
I prepaid.
10:55 a.m. — Home, quick change then drive 10 minutes up the road to meet my friend H at a pub. She recently had her second baby and it’s lovely to see them both and we chat about plans for her upcoming 40th birthday. She kindly pays for my peppermint tea and fish finger sandwich as an early birthday present.
1:25 p.m. — I spend some time touching up the paint on the dining room floor while listening to a Spotify playlist and drinking a decaf tea. We chose a colour which seems to show up every single mark, but it looks much better once I get to work!
2:30 p.m. — Finish painting, get changed and snuggle with F on the sofa while watching an episode of New Amsterdam. Remember that I wanted a carpet protector to use under my office chair and order via Amazon. O messages to ask if I can order one for him too plus a new threshold divider for between the dining room and hall (there’s always a DIY purchase to be made!), £39.84 for my half.
3:45 p.m. — O finishes work for the day and suggests we go to the pub so we head to one nearby with the dog in tow. Doing this is becoming a Friday tradition and it’s such a nice way to start the weekend together, £10.80 for two pints.
5:30 p.m. — O makes dinner — halloumi burgers with salad and chips. We have chocolate for dessert and watch some TV.
7:30 p.m. — Run myself a warm bath. Use my favourite Magic Organic Apothecary Fortifying Bath Potion. I breathe in the essential oils in the hope it’ll cure my lurgy!
8:35 p.m. — Get snuggled in bed with O and F to watch the latest episode of Severance (O pays for our Apple TV subscription). It’s so creepy!
9:50 p.m. — Put F to bed downstairs, do my usual bedtime routine of flossing and brushing my teeth, washing my face, applying moisturiser, facial oil and nail oil then read my book for a bit before sleeping.
Total: £50.64
7:20 a.m. — Wake up, cuddle with O and he kindly lets the dog out and brings up my drink to give me a lie in. I’m feeling a little groggy but not as full of a cold as yesterday, thankfully.
7:30 a.m. — I scroll for a bit, then plan our weekly meals — O is on a restricted diet currently due to IBS, so it takes time to do, but having a plan helps with our spending and with eating relatively healthily.
9:07 a.m. — Shower and get dressed. Make breakfast of muesli, blueberries and yoghurt and a Yorkshire tea.
10:15 a.m. — O has taken F out for his morning walk. Do a check of the kitchen cupboards (to try and make sure I don’t buy stuff we already have!) then drive to the shops.
11 a.m. — Head to Aldi and get various bits including fruit and veg for the week’s meals and a few bottles of wine as we have friends coming over tonight, £38.82 for my half.
11:45 a.m. — Go to Argos to look for a new lampshade for the dining room. Find a large origami style one that will work great, £16 for my half.
12 p.m. — Head over to Sainsbury’s to finish the weekly shop including gluten free bread, meat and fish, gluten free beer and dog food. I also pick up a throw and cushion and treat us to a new bedding set — pay for those with £60 of Nectar points I’ve saved up, but even after that the total cost is £46.14 for my half.
1:30 p.m. — Back home and I put some leftover chicken and leek pie in the air fryer for me, and make a chickpea salad for O while he does some tidying.
2:20 p.m. — Spend the afternoon cleaning the house from top to bottom while dancing to a Daisy Jones and the Six playlist.
5:45 p.m. — Our friends, M and P arrive. M and I met in our first week at uni — nearly 20 years ago! They have two kids but have babysitters for the night so are having a child-free sleepover with us. They’ve also brought their dog, B, who F adores. The doggos chase each other round the house while we catch up over drinks.
7 p.m. — I make dinner of tuna steaks with a green bean, tomato and basil salad along with air fryer roast potatoes. I love to cook and it’s great to be able to eat in our new look dining room! Settle in for a night of chat, board games and (way too much) wine.
Total: £100.96
1:30 a.m. — We’re all surprised to see the time — we got so absorbed in the games that we forgot dessert and then had several rounds of gin and tonics instead! Show M and P to our spare room, tuck the pups up for bed, brush teeth, then bed.
5:25 a.m. — No idea why I’ve woken up, except I’m SO HOT and already starting to feel the hangover kick in… chug a big glass of water and hope for the best.
7:50 a.m. — Wake up to a cuddle with O, though we’re both feeling less than fresh… head downstairs for the usual routine, try not to wake M and P up to let them enjoy a rare lie-in!
9:20 a.m. — Get showered and dressed, pop a couple of painkillers and go downstairs where O is playing PS5 and we’re eventually joined by M and P. All agree that a great night was had, but hangovers in your 30s are brutal!
10:20 a.m. — After a much needed caffeine boost, we all head out to the woods to walk the dogs. It’s a really beautiful day — cold but crisp. Despite the banging head, I feel so lucky to be able to spend time with the people (and dogs!) I care about.
11 a.m. — M and P head home, and after a brief bit of tidying up and a round of toast, O, F and I get settled for an afternoon on the sofa.
5 p.m. — O makes dinner of spicy chicken, lime rice, salsa, chickpeas and peppers then I take F for a quick walk round the block.
6:25 p.m. — Quick change and head to yoga. Tonight it’s one of my favourites, slow flow yoga by candlelight. I try to make it every Sunday as it really helps set me up for the week ahead. It feels good to move my body after slobbing on the sofa all day!
I prepaid with a Class Pass.
8 p.m. — Home from yoga, make a peppermint tea and two bowls of dairy free ice cream, meringue, berries and raspberry coulis (our intended dessert from last night!) for O and I, then we put on an episode of Vera.
9:35 p.m. — We both end up dozing in front of the TV so head up for an early night.
10:25 p.m. — Bedtime routine, read a couple of pages of my book then bed.
Total: £0
7 a.m. — Alarm goes off and O, F and I do the usual routine — just quicker as it’s a workday for both of us.
8:15 a.m. — I’m working from home today so head to my office (O and I each have our own at home). Spend an hour catching up on my emails from my non-working day.
9:15 a.m. — Head to the dentist — after years of feeling self-conscious I’ve decided to get my teeth whitened so this appointment is to check I’m suitable. My dentist gives the go ahead and takes moulds of my teeth. Book another appointment in two weeks’ time to pick up my whitening kit, £100 (will pay £285 balance when I go back).
9:40 a.m. — Back home, make breakfast of muesli, yoghurt, raspberries and blueberries with a Yorkshire tea to eat at my desk. I’m a creature of habit when it comes to breakfast because it’s the only way I can make sure I consistently eat it!
10:40 a.m. — The doorbell goes, O answers and I can hear it’s our dog walker. We’ve used the same company since F was a puppy and while they’ve gotten more expensive over the years it’s worth it as they are great and F gets to socialise with his doggy pals!
12:20 p.m. — Spend the rest of the morning working on updating some policies then break for a quick lunch. Find leftover rice in the fridge, so chop some veggies then fry with soy sauce and mix in an egg to make a spicy fried rice dish. Serve with sweet chilli sauce and eat while doing my Irish lesson.
1 p.m. — Have a Zoom with some colleagues from partner charities — get updates about their work and share some of the things we’re working on too.
3 p.m. — Spend the rest of my day checking in with my manager as she just got back from leave and reviewing notes from a training day I was on last week.
5:30 p.m. — My turn to make dinner and tonight we’re having stir fry tofu, noodles and veggies with a peanut, chilli and lime sauce. Eat with O in front of the TV.
6:30 p.m. — O’s parents pick us up and we head out for pub quiz night. We’ve been quizzing together for years and it’s become a tradition that we try to keep most weeks — plus its a cash prize! Last year I got the jackpot question right and won us over £500! Tonight we’re not quite as lucky, coming in sixth.
10:10 p.m. — Home, put F to bed then bedtime routine and a quick Irish lesson.
10:30 p.m. — Lights out and bed.
Total: £100
4:55 a.m. — Wake bolt upright from a strange dream — can’t quite remember but I think my mum was in it. I really miss her, it makes my heart ache.
6:50 a.m. — Managed to get back to sleep until the alarm goes off. I’m working from the office today so O goes downstairs while I take the first shower so I can get up and out quickly.
7:50 a.m. — Quick breakfast of toast and grab some leftover salad from the fridge for lunch along with some fruit and a cereal bar.
8:50 a.m. — Arrive at the office after a 30 minute drive and catch up with colleagues. My last job was mainly working from home, so it’s been an adjustment to go back to an office for 50% of my working week — but I actually love it now! It helps that we are a small team so I’ve been able to get to know everyone quite quickly.
1 p.m. — My morning involves responding to emails, chatting about options for a few service changes we’re thinking of implementing, booking some upcoming travel and ordering a new fridge as ours has conked out. My job is certainly varied! Break for lunch and eat my salad with a peppermint tea.
3 p.m. — Join a call but they contact to say something has come up and they can’t make it. Use the unexpected time back to head out with a colleague to pick up our new fridge.
4:50 p.m. — Drive home while listening to Jamie Oliver on the Louis Theroux Podcast. I enjoy having a commute now (apart from the petrol cost!) as it gives me a chance to wind down after work.
5:30 p.m. — Arrive home to F waiting at the window — it’s true what people say that having a dog means there’s always someone who is pleased to see you! Throw F’s ball for him, then make myself an alcohol free cocktail and get comfy on the sofa while O makes us dinner.
6:15 p.m. — Eat our dinner (shakshuka with feta) while watching TV and chatting about our next house project: after three years of having no bedroom storage, we’re finally getting fitted wardrobes next week! O is paying for this as he has more savings. We need to order some wardrobe handles so we chat about styles we like.
7 p.m. — O heads upstairs to finish some work but gives me some chocolate he bought earlier as a little treat! I snuggle up with F and an episode of New Amsterdam and look for handles online… surprisingly difficult to find nice, good quality and reasonably priced ones.
8:15 p.m. — O comes back downstairs and we find handles we both like… but they’re really expensive. Keep searching until we find a better option that will arrive in a couple of days. O orders and pays for these.
9:15 p.m. — Make us both a ginger tea then put on an episode of the Dog House — we ALL love to watch this show. F is mesmerised with the pups on screen!
10:20 p.m. — Put F to bed then bedtime routine. I’m wide awake and scroll for a while, then do my Irish lesson and read a chapter of my book. O is already snoozing beside me.
11:50 p.m. — Lights out and bed.
Total: £0
7 a.m. — Usual routine but decide I’ll take a slow start as it’s a working from home day. Book myself onto yoga for this eve, £45 for 5-Class Pass.
8:40 a.m. — Shower, dress in my comfies, then take F out. He was with O’s parents yesterday, and they always take him on a long walk so he won’t need much exercise today. We walk to the local woods and I throw sticks for him. He’s a terrier so loves chasing things, but isn’t so great at bringing them back!
9:10 a.m. — Home, dental chew for F and I make breakfast of muesli, berries, Greek yogurt and honey with (surprise, surprise) a Yorkshire tea and eat at my desk while I check emails.
10 a.m. — Call with our IT guy as we need to plan some work on our email system… boring but necessary.
10:20 a.m. — Spend the rest of the morning messaging colleagues and booking meetings as well as working on some updated social media guidance. I enjoy being able to focus on deep work like this when working from home.
11:25 a.m. — I’m so engrossed that I don’t see a text from O asking if I want anything from the coffee shop until he’s already been and gone — gutted to miss out on a chai latte! Have a redbush tea and a cereal bar instead.
12:30 p.m. — Vinted order arrives — a cute red maxi dress I bought last week. I plan to wear it when we’re away at the weekend as we’ve booked a meal for my birthday.
1:20 p.m. — Break for lunch. Make a bacon and egg roll but have an apple for dessert because, y’know, balance! See that I’ve had an offer accepted on Vinted — I love a bargain but I’m trying to be more mindful. This jumper will go with lots though so I decide to get it, £12.
3 p.m. — Last meeting of the day with my boss and one of our trustees to do some prep for an internal planning session we are co-facilitating tomorrow. I really enjoy being able to strategise, taking actions forward that will make the most difference to the people we support.
5:10 p.m. — Finish work for the day. It’s a nice feeling to look out the window and still see daylight!
5:55 p.m. — Make our dinner of ham, leek and pea risotto with a side salad. Watch TV for a bit with O.
7:45 p.m. — Head out to class — it’s yoga nidra, a guided meditation lying under cosy blankets. Bliss.
9:10 p.m. — Home from yoga, decide to have an early night. Catch up on some email updates for my volunteering role (I volunteer once a month for an abortion support helpline) then do my Irish lesson. O comes up after he’s put F to bed, we cuddle and chat for a bit.
10:40 p.m. — Bedtime routine and lights out.
Total: £57
6:40 a.m. — Early alarm today as I’m working from the office. O sorts the dog while I get first shower.
7:50 a.m. — Grab a slice of toast and a banana, head out to the car to see it’s covered in ice. De-ice as quick as I can while feeling slightly annoyed I’ll be late.
8:50 a.m. — Arrive at work, make tea and check in with colleagues. Touched that my team each give me a birthday card! Get logged on for the planning session.
11 a.m. — Meeting finished, definitely in need of a tea break! Do a tea round (peppermint for me).
12:10 p.m. — Lunch. Head out to get petrol,£42.01 including impulse purchase of a car air freshener. I was planning to get a salad but the smell of Greggs is too tempting so I get a pizza slice and a caramel custard doughnut, £4.30.
1 p.m. — Hop on a Zoom with someone in a similar role at another charity to pick each others’ brains about a few things we are working on.
4:50 p.m. — Spend the rest of the day catching up on emails, writing up this morning’s workshop and chatting with colleagues. I’m off work now until Tuesday, so put my out of office on then head home.
5:30 p.m. — Home, catch up with O about our days and play with F before heading out to meet two friends (L and C) at a Greek restaurant 15 mins walk away.
6:30 p.m. — We have a good catch up over gyros, hummus and pitta and two bottles of wine. I met L and C (and a few other friends we see regularly) about 18 months ago via a local friendship making group. They’re in their twenties and early thirties so we joke that I’m the grandma, but I feel lucky to have made lovely new friends as it’s really not easy to do this as a grown up. The bill comes to £35 for my share.
8:40 p.m. — We decide to move on to a bar for another glass of wine, £7.50. C asks how I’m feeling about my first birthday without my mum — both C and L have also lost loved ones, so I know they understand and it feels cathartic to be able to chat about it together.
10 p.m. — Say goodbye as we’re walking in opposite directions and head home.
10:15 p.m. — Get home to see my boys! F is snoozing beside O on the sofa. Head upstairs.
10:40 p.m. — We’re heading away tomorrow so chat about plans, and negotiate that if O walks F in the morning so I can make my yoga class, I’ll pack F’s things. I definitely got the better deal! Book tomorrow’s yoga with my Class Pass then get ready for bed.
11 p.m. — Drink two glasses of water to stave off a hangover, Irish lesson, few pages of book then bed.
Total: £88.81
Food & Drink: £142.56
Clothes & Beauty: £12
Home & Health: £200.84
Entertainment: £0
Travel: £42.01
Other: £0
Total: £397.41
Conclusion
“All in all, apart from the teeth whitening and buying more food and drink for our friends staying over, this was a fairly typical week and I’m pretty happy with my spending. I’ve really been trying to avoid spending mindlessly on things I don’t need, so I’m pleased that most of my spending went on food and drink as it’s an area where I find a lot of joy — especially when shared with people I love!”
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