Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last penny.
This week: “I’m a 27 year-old first-time mum to a gorgeous (and very active!) 11 month-old baby. We live in a large town in the South West and have been based here for four years, moving here for my job shortly after we got married. My husband found work here and we bought a two bed mid-terrace house in 2022, so we’re settled here for now, an alien concept to me as I moved around very frequently as a child!
I’m currently on the last month of the unpaid portion of my maternity leave (I was previously a children’s social worker, earning £38,000), however I’ve decided not to go back to work for now as there wasn’t enough flexibility offered by my employer. F will only be this small once so I don’t want to regret not being at home with her! I found my job super rewarding, although very full on and am a little sad not to be going back in any capacity but know that being at home is the right place for now. This decision came in the same month my husband took a significant (£16,000) pay cut, to move from a job he wasn’t enjoying to one that’s already giving him much more job satisfaction and better long term prospects. While we’ve both made pretty drastic financial decisions in the last few months, we feel really settled that they’re the right decisions for our family for now.
We are trying to save for a hopeful move to a larger house in a couple of years (ideally so we can have more kids), as well as doing up bits of our current house. My husband is naturally much more frugal than I am, although I like to think I’m generally quite financially sensible and savvy about finding offers, but I’m definitely more prone to treating myself than T is. I think we’re pretty good at living within our means, although we’re adjusting to what that looks like with our new budget.”
Occupation: Maternity leave/Stay-at-home parent
Industry: N/A
Age: 27
Location: South West
Salary: £0, my husband T earns around £38,000.
Paycheque Amount: £0, T’s is roughly £2,200 (this is only his second month in the role so we’re unsure exactly what it will settle down to).
Number of housemates: Two, my husband T and our 11 month-old baby, F.
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses
Housing costs: £867 mortgage, although this is due to change in the summer and it’s likely to go up as we were lucky to get in with a 2% interest rate. We’ve been overpaying by £133 each month.
Loan payments: £13,000 left in my student loan which I’m not currently paying towards while I’m not working.
Savings?: £5,600 split across three regular savers, £6,400 in easy access savings.
Pension? I have two pensions that I kept meaning to consolidate but never got around to before I left work. I have £1,850 in my pension from my first post-university job and £2,600 in my pension from my current job.
Utilities: £92 energy, £38.13 water, £66 council tax, £20 wifi.
All other monthly payments: £15 TV license, £24.25 phones (both on SIM only contracts), £23.59 life insurance, £200 church, £32 sponsored child, £5 Tearfund, £50 to F’s ISA. Annually: £160 car tax, £375 car insurance, £210 home insurance.
Subscriptions: £11.99 Spotify.
Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
I did an undergraduate degree when I left school and was very lucky that an inheritance paid my tuition fees. I then took out a maintenance loan for my living expenses and I worked throughout the holidays too. I did a social work master’s degree on the job to avoid any more university fees and received an £18,000 bursary for doing this (although trying to balance working full time and doing a full time master’s degree was hard work!).
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money?
My dad in particular was very open about money and is very financially literate. He taught us early on about the importance of saving and budgeting and getting our money to work for us through finding good interest rates. Mum never really spoke to us about that side of finances, but is always very generous at treating us and giving us money if she feels we could use it!
If you have, when did you move out of your parents/guardians house?
I left home to go to university at 18. At 21 I left university and began working and living in a school, however I returned home briefly for a few months when I was furloughed. I moved out again later in 2020, before getting married to T.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself? Does anyone else cover any aspects of your financial life?
T and I have totally shared finances since we married and both had periods where we were the sole earner. At the moment he’s fulfilling this role, however we still have savings from my previous employment.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
I worked in the next village over for a man who made artisan pies out of a small shed. I got this job as a way of earning spending money and saving towards a post-school holiday once I turned 18.
Do you worry about money now?
Yes and no. I know that we’re able to live within our means and budget effectively, with various pots that guide our spending on non-necessary items. However, I do worry about how much we’ll be able to save due to our reduced income and what this means for the future. We’d love to have two or three more children, but would struggle to fit in our current house and I wonder whether we’ll be able to afford to move house without me going back to work. I know that my family would always support us if we ever found ourselves struggling and feel very lucky to have that safety net.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?
I received some inheritance money which paid my tuition fees for my undergraduate degree. This was such a blessing and has meant that my student loan is only around £13,000, so may well end up being paid off. In 2017, I received £4,000 which went towards my first car and the remainder into my Help to Buy ISA that ended up being our house deposit.
1:12 a.m. — Woken by F, who’s sleep is still settling down after a few illnesses and new teeth. She’s decided it’s party time.
5 a.m. — F stirs, so bring her into bed with us, we doze until 6 a.m. and T gets up with her.
7 a.m. — Get up and make F breakfast — banana, peanut butter French toast roll ups with berries. I reckon 20% of our food budget is now spent on soft fruit.
7:45 a.m. — Make F’s lunch — egg, cheese and veg frittatas, and also pack cheese, berries and oat muffins.
9 a.m. — First nap for F, a snuggly contact nap. It can be frustrating to be nap trapped, but I really cherish the sleepy cuddles and know they won’t last for long.
10 a.m. — Drive to a local padel court for a friend’s birthday.
10:30 a.m. — Get really competitive playing padel, my team come third of five. I played lots of sport at uni, so it’s nice to feel that buzz again. We all take turns occupying F on the cold sidelines.
11:30 a.m. — Celebratory brunch in the cafe. F enjoys her frittatas and loves watching all the dogs in the cafe. T and I share a breakfast burrito and crispy duck waffle with plum and sriracha sauce — so tasty. As I’m queuing to pay I give in to temptation and also get a spiced caramel cookie for T and a canele for me, £29.65.
12:45 p.m. — Drive home with T desperately trying to keep F awake until we get home so she has a full nap at home.
1:45 p.m. — I finish researching e-readers during F’s nap. Decide to put my Christmas money towards a Kobo Clara so I can read one handed while F is napping. Buy it through a cashback site for £112.
3:45 p.m. — F wakes up and T takes her to do a food shop, £25.74. I normally do the food shop on a Monday but T has had some time off so we’re all out of routine. He gets lots of fruit and veg, mince, tinned beans and crumpets and comes back with a surprise bar of chocolate — hero!
5 p.m. — I make baby burrito bowls — rice, chilli, guacamole, chopped coriander and lime and we eat dinner together. T and I are getting used to salt-free food, but have a good collection of hot sauces to spice up our dinner.
6:15 p.m. — T gives F her bath, which thankfully she loves, and then we do PJs, story and feed to sleep.
7:15 p.m. — F asleep so collapse onto the sofa and catch up on TV (Death in Paradise) while eating chocolate.
8:30 p.m. — Feeling knackered so head to bed and read a chapter of my book before falling asleep.
Total: £167.39
1:23 a.m. — F wakes up, feed her, back to sleep.
4:20 a.m. — F awake again.
5:45 a.m. — T and I give up trying to get her back to sleep so I take her downstairs to play with all her toys.
7 a.m. — Make breakfast for F and I: pear, almond and ginger porridge. She decides half way through she doesn’t want to be spoon-fed so ends up cramming fistfuls of porridge in her mouth — it’s a very messy affair.
7:45 a.m. — Have a quick scroll through Vinted as F is about to move up to the next size of clothes. Find her a fleece and a few jumpers for £15.83. We get most of her clothes as hand-me-downs, but I like to pick out a few second-hand pieces too.
10 a.m. — Let F have a long nap after her early start and load everyone up for a rather wet and chilly walk to church.
10:30 a.m. — F goes to crèche at church and loves playing with the older kids.
12 p.m. — A drizzly walk home before all having leftover lunch (bread, cheese, salad, veg and gammon).
1:30 p.m. — My parents pop over with some bits from a bakery Too Good To Go bag they won’t get through, one of the perks of living so close! Lots of smiley cuddles with F, as my mum is her favourite person (besides us!).
1:45 p.m. — Feed F before T gets her down for a nap in her cot — a rare situation. He sits and reads in her room so he can resettle her when required.
2 p.m. — I start using this time to do some kitchen clearing and then realise it’s a rare opportunity for a nap, so I cosy up in bed with my book.
3:45 p.m. — T heads out to his weekly sports training. I seem to find myself back on Vinted and can’t resist a bundle of summer dresses for F, £11.79.
4 p.m. — F wakes up so we go downstairs and play with her new toy kitchen, doing some ‘cooking’ together.
5:30 p.m. — F and I have leftover burrito bowls for dinner followed by yoghurt, kiwi and berries for her. There’s just enough food left for T to take into the office as his work lunch.
6:45 p.m. — T gets home in time to say goodnight to F, having picked up a pizza for himself and some new Haribo sweets we’ve not tried before, £3.83. We both have such a sweet tooth and struggle to withstand temptation if we’re in the shop, which is why I try to do a weekly shop.
9 p.m. — Up to bed and read until we fall asleep.
Total: £31.45
3:12 a.m. — F wakes up for a feed, having had a nice long stretch of sleep. She used to be able to go straight through before she got ill, so this feels like we’re moving in the right direction.
5:25 a.m. — F is up for the day so take her downstairs. She’s happy to amuse herself taking clean washing off the airer, so I have a rash moment of motivation and decide to sort out the kitchen cupboards.
6:10 a.m. — The regret has kicked in as I look at the contents of the kitchen cupboards sprawled across the dining table.
7 a.m. — Cupboards restored to normal and breakfast made for F of peanut butter, banana and blueberry baked oats. T gives her breakfast while I shower and get ready.
7:45 a.m. — T leaves for work. I have crumpets with butter and Marmite for breakfast.
8:15 a.m. — Decide to continue with my productivity and clean the bathroom, feel that I’ve bossed Monday morning.
8:30 a.m. — Get F down for an early nap and snuggle under the blankets as it’s so cold!
10:45 a.m. — Arrive to do the food shop to discover that I’ve lost my trolley pound — disaster! Load F up into the baby carrier and battle through! Shop includes berries, chicken, fish, lots of veg, cheese, milk and some store cupboard staples like tinned tomatoes, coconut milk and noodles. Also top up the snack cupboard now T is back to work. Total comes to £62.54 which is more than normal, but the cupboards are pretty bare.
12 p.m. — Pop in to see a friend and catch up. She kindly makes lunch of pesto, goat’s cheese and tomato toasties.
1:30 p.m. — Head home for nap time, again snuggling under blankets to try and stay warm.
3:30 p.m. — F wakes up and we walk round to another shop for lemongrass and no-salt chicken stock cubes, £2.64.
4 p.m. — Stop in at the charity shop on the way home and find a couple of animal themed games for F’s birthday present, £3.50. She loves animals and is starting to make animal noises, especially lion roars which is mega cute.
5:30 p.m. — Three friends come over for dinner and we all eat with F. I make Thai green curry with chicken and prawns as F is not such a fan of chicken but will devour prawns.
7 p.m. — F is asleep and we chat with our friends. We’d normally play a board game but are all pretty low on energy.
9 p.m. — Our friends leave and I head straight to bed to read a chapter before falling asleep.
11:30 p.m. — F wakes up, thankfully a 10-minute feed and she’s back asleep.
Total: £68.68
4:45 a.m. — F wakes and I try and get her back to sleep. During the work week I do more of the wake-ups so T is more rested for work and we tend to swap at weekends.
5:30 a.m. — F laughs whenever I try and lay her down for sleep so we build towers and play with her blocks in her room.
7 a.m. — T gets up and does F’s breakfast so I can shower and get ready for the day.
7:45 a.m. — T leaves for work, I have two crumpets with butter and Marmite for breakfast.
9 a.m. — Feed F to sleep and transfer her to her pram for her nap.
9:25 a.m. — Walk past a building site which wakes F up and can’t get her back to sleep, guess we’re having a grouchy day then!
10 a.m. — Head to toddler group. I’m on the team that runs it so don’t have to pay.
12 p.m. — Walk home via a charity shop and get a dress for F and a doll’s cot for a friend’s little one, £3.50.
12:50 p.m. — Get home to discover I’ve not got my house keys and we’re locked out. Duck into the nearest shop and get cheese, pittas, boiled eggs and raspberries for an emergency lunch for F and a packet of crisps and sandwich for me, £11.84.
1:30 p.m. — Meet T to get house keys from him, F naps on the way home.
4 p.m. — Relieved to be home and play and read books with F until dinner.
5:30 p.m. — T is home and we all eat leftover curry for dinner.
7 p.m. — F is down successfully. We clean the kitchen and then both settle on the sofa with our books. I’m currently alternating between Cribsheet by Emily Oster (will take all the parenting help I can get) and Richard Osman’s We Solve Murders.
8:30 p.m. — Up to bed as these early starts are really taking a toll.
Total: £15.34
4:35 a.m. — F wakes up, she settles while feeding until just after 5 a.m. and T gets up with her.
6 a.m. — Get up and make F apple and blackberry porridge and have a bowl myself. F decides she’s not a fan of it today.
9 a.m. — F and I snuggle down for a nap after some time playing.
10:15 a.m. — F is awake and enjoying her porridge cold as a snack, also give her grapes, cheese and egg muffins.
11 a.m. — Head to a free baby group at the library — these are a bit hit and miss but gives a good chance to exchange F’s stack of library books.
12:15 a.m. — Home for lunch, scrambled egg on crumpet served with some tomatoes and cucumber. More berries to finish!
1:30 p.m. — I’m feeling wiped so F and I settle down for a nap in bed so I can doze too.
4 p.m. — F wakes up in a great mood so we walk round the corner to the park for a quick swing.
5:15 p.m. — T is working late today so I make F spinach and pea pesto pasta with various veggies on the side. She has yoghurt and baked oats for pudding.
6:45 p.m. — T is home in time to say goodnight to F who settles pretty quickly.
7:15 p.m. — T and I have gnocchi with chorizo, homemade tomato sauce and whatever veg needs using up from the fridge, today this is peppers, tomatoes and spinach. I top mine with a large amount of cheese as pasta is just a vehicle for cheese in my view.
8 p.m. — Play a quick board game before bed, this is something we used to do all the time, but feels harder to motivate ourselves to do when we’re constantly tired!
9 p.m. — Read a chapter before bed.
Total: £0
4:35 a.m. — F wakes up again!
5:30 a.m. — Manage to get her asleep so back to bed.
6:55 a.m. — F wakes up, feeling mighty refreshed from the extra time in bed and start our day with family cuddles (which is F repeatedly hitting us in the face and crawling over us).
7:45 a.m. — F and I both have crumpets for breakfast, one of her favourites, followed by yoghurt and satsumas. I make some pesto and cheese puff pastry pinwheels for F’s lunch.
9 a.m. — Settle down for F’s nap, scroll Vinted for ideas for her birthday presents. Thinking of getting her a soft doll and some puzzles.
10:30 a.m. — A quick cheese and muffin snack before getting in the car to drive to baby gymnastics.
12:30 p.m. — She gets her walking award today — so proud!
1 p.m. — Stick around to have lunch with a friend and their little one. I have a ham, cheese and tomato pitta and give F her pinwheels and some leftover orzo.
1:30 p.m. — Stop at a farm shop on the way home for some nice milk for F’s porridge and birthday fudge for T, £4.75.
3:30 p.m. — F fell asleep in the car so I go a very long way home to extend her nap.
4:15 p.m. — Alternate between making dinner and playing with F. Orange and soy salmon with tahini and veg noodles, a real hit for F.
6 p.m. — Dinner, bath and bed with T home from work to join the fun.
7:30 p.m. — Do some meal planning for the weekend, it’s T’s birthday so we’re hosting different friends for three consecutive days and making cake for him to take into work. We love making food for people and haven’t been able to do so much since we had F so looking forward to it.
Total: £4.75
5:55 a.m. — F wakes up! We set the heating to come on in the early hours and it looks like it worked. Take her downstairs to play with her kitchen.
7 a.m. — Make F breakfast of mashed banana and peanut butter on a wholemeal English muffin, and I have a muffin with butter and marmite.
7:45 a.m. — T leaves for work, I put yet another load of washing on (for someone so small she sure generates a lot of washing!).
10 a.m. — F wakes up from her nap and I give her a quick snack of an egg muffin, pesto pinwheel and some cheese before we both wrap up warm.
10:30 a.m. — Brave the cold to head into town and try and find T’s birthday present. Had been hoping to find him a work jumper in the sales but can’t quite find what I’m looking for.
12 p.m. — Pick up a couple of Vinted parcels and buy a pack of thank you cards while in town, £3.75.
1 p.m. — Get home and give F a late lunch of leftover noodles, some broccoli and grapes. Having devoured the noodles yesterday she’s not such a fan today.
1:45 p.m. — Realised I’ve missed her ideal sleep window and as she’s overtired it’s a fight to get her down for her nap. She eventually settles by 2.20 p.m. and I manage to put her in her cot so I can start dinner prep.
2:30 p.m. — Make a Japanese style chicken curry for dinner.
4:30 p.m. — Nip to the shop for cake ingredients for T’s birthday cake. The baby event is on, so I also come home with a toy box and a couple of books that will be birthday presents for F next month, £20.98.
5:45 p.m. — T gets home from work and we do the dinner, bath and bed routine.
7:30 p.m. — I fall asleep on the sofa and decide to make the most of an early night before we have some later nights hosting this weekend for T’s birthday.
11:25 p.m. — F wakes up and seems to be in pain, think we’ve got another tooth coming through!
Total: £24.73
Food & Drink: £140.99
Clothes & Beauty: £27.62
Home & Health: £0
Entertainment: £112
Travel: £0
Other: £31.73
Total: £312.34
Conclusion
“This was definitely a more expensive than normal week, with brunch out and emergency lunch buying when I was locked out increasing our food budget for the week. So did the clothes and toys for F, which are not bought on a weekly basis. It’s alarming how quickly it creeps up and food is definitely an area I need to keep an eye on our spending. The e-reader is also a one-off purchase but has already made such a difference — I’m loving reading again. I’m keen to keep recording our spending so I have a greater understanding of where our money is going and how achievable our budget is.”
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