When two people move in together, their pets are also undergoing a major transition.Illustration by Photo illustration by The Globe and Mail. Sources: Mira Miller (cats); istock (comic graphics)
When my partner and I decided to move in together, we understood we would need to make compromises as we navigated the next stage of our relationship. But we weren’t the only ones who would be adapting to a new living situation: Our two cats would undergo a major transition, too.
Like most people, animals prefer predictability and routine to the unknown. When a new critter mysteriously shows up, pets are likely to have some strong reactions. My partner and I were determined to make the transition for our cats as smooth as possible as we moved into our new apartment. So, we sought out some expert advice before joining together as a big and (hopefully) happy family of four. Here is what we learned.
Take a gradual approach
Billie Rousse, the adoption coordinator at Montreal cat rescue Heart in Hand, advises a go-slow approach when introducing cats. She says each cat will react differently based on their personality, past experience and how patient you are with them. “Cats won’t be friends right away, but there are tricks to make them get along,” she said.
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My partner’s cat, Dragon – a black male he’s had for almost 10 years – has a dominant disposition and has had trouble getting along with other cats in the past. My two-year-old cat, Caramel, a calico female I adopted just one year ago, has lived with other cats before and is more submissive and easily frightened. Rousse suspected their opposing character traits, as well as their opposite sexes, would help them gradually become comfortable with one another.
Nonetheless, she suggested we keep Dragon and Caramel separate for at least 24 hours after moving in. The move alone would be stressful, she explained, and we should give them a chance to smell each other from afar and explore the place on their own before placing them together.
We kept our cats in separate rooms for the first day and night. We also gave them each a turn to roam the apartment on their own. But it was clear from their growling and hissing that they knew another cat was nearby.
On the second day, we swapped their blankets to give them a chance to smell one another. We also put a ribbon under the door that separated them so they could play together while maintaining their distance. Our cats continued to hiss and growl – including when we finally put them face-to-face for the first time later that day.
“Hissing is a way for them to let them know, ‘Hey, don’t get near me, I don’t want to be your friend for now,‘” Rousse explained, adding that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Hissing is how cats set boundaries.
We allowed our cats to get accustomed to each other for short, supervised periods throughout that day before separating them again for the night to give all of us a break from the tension.
Other tips Rousse suggested were rewarding them for good behaviour with treats, feeding them separately but near each other, and ensuring they each had their own comfortable places to sleep and relax.
On the third day, we were pleasantly surprised to find that our cats’ hostile behaviour had mostly subsided. And by the end of the fourth day, Dragon and Caramel lay adorably facing one another at the foot of our bed.
Help them feel safe
Not every blended pet family is as lucky as ours. Xavier Martinez, a behavioural manager for the SPCA in Montreal, says that while cats have a reputation for being moody and unaccommodating, many dogs can also struggle with cohabitating with other animals for the first time.
Integrating a dog and a cat together can be particularly challenging, he says, as can introducing two dogs to a shared living space.
“You want to create a routine with the new animal and the new surroundings to make them feel safe,” Martinez said. “When they’re stressed and they feel like the environment is unpredictable, that is the worst time to try to teach them new things and have them learn new relationships.”
This might mean keeping feedings and walks on the same schedule as prior to the move, holding on to some of the same furniture and placing it in similar spots to your old place, maintaining a quiet environment, and continuing to spend one-on-one time with your pet.
For cats, Martinez suggests offering them plenty of hiding spots and high places to escape to when feeling unsafe. For dogs, he advises leaving a thin leash on while at home to make it easier to get a hold of them if needed, at least for the first few weeks. And if you’re integrating two dogs, Martinez says going on walks together is optimal bonding time.
Both Rousse and Martinez say investing in baby gates to offer pets safe separation from each other without fully enclosing them in a room is worth considering. And they stress that having pets sterilized is imperative to give them the best chance at getting along, as this tends to make them much less territorial.
Be patient and realistic
Most of all, it’s important to be patient and have realistic expectations.
“They don’t have to be best friends, they don’t have to cuddle each other,” Martinez said. “As long as everybody is happy and not stressed, that’s what the goal should be.”
I am delighted to report that after a couple of weeks of living together, our cats are now friends and playmates, chasing each other around and willfully sharing space in the living room. Taking those few extra steps to ease them into cohabitating was more than worth the effort.