On today’s dating apps, singles must read between the lines before swiping right on a book lover | Canada Voices

A few years ago, Brayden Ross’s big frustration on the dating apps was Fish Man: some guy holding up his latest catch to signal rugged masculinity to prospective matches. For Ross, a marketing professional who loves books and has zero interest in the outdoorsy type, the trend was just another spin on a familiar trope: Guys posing with a symbol of traditional masculinity – think sports car or giant tiger. Back then, she recalls, men who listed reading among their hobbies were few and far between, but there was one advantage: “At least when a guy said he likes to read, you could assume that he did actually read.”

These days, Ross and many book-loving love-seekers like her are dealing with a new kind of poser as hardcovers supplant freshwater trout in profile pictures. Suddenly book boys are everywhere, but whether this reflects authentic bibliophile tendencies or just savvy branding is a different story. “You meet a guy who says he loves reading and then it’s like, ‘Really, your favourite book of all time is Values by Mark Carney?’” Ross says. Another time she swiped right on a guy who listed books as an interest. When they started chatting he asked what she was reading and she answered King of Kings by Scott Anderson. “That’s one of my favourites too,” the guy messaged back. Only Ross (who works in publishing) was reading an advanced copy – the book wasn’t out yet at the time. When she tried to make light of the gaffe her prospective suitor disappeared – caught in the act of the dating world’s latest dupe.

Bookfishing, derived from the term catfishing, is when one person (usually a straight man) exaggerates or even flat-out lies about their interest in reading on their dating profile in an attempt to attract romantic prospects. In part this reflects the growing cultural cachet of books: once a private and largely solitary pursuit, today a public-facing expression of identity and, let’s face it, a vibe. It’s more than just aesthetic – the rise of #BookTok taps into a genuine desire to build identity and community around shared passion. But it is an aesthetic. (Dior’s recent runway collection featured book totes emblazoned with classic covers like Dracula and Les Liaisons Dangereuses, costing up to $5,000.) And on the apps books have become an increasingly common bait-and-switch.

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Certainly this is not our first encounter with the performative reader, recently satirized in The New Yorker as a man who sits at the bar with his inconspicuous copy of David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest, “begging to be noticed with the aid of a big, look-at-me, capital-‘B’ book.” Similarly, the bookfisher employs reading material as bait. (Sure he “could” read the latest Colson Whitehead. But Obama’s summer reading list makes for an effective crib sheet.)

Last year, Bumble released a report showing that straight women are 66 per cent more likely to swipe right if a man lists reading as a hobby. On Tinder, terms like “reading,” “book,” “bookstore” and “book boyfriend” have all spiked in popularity over the past few years. The Instagram account Hot Men Reading, with more than a million followers, may feel a bit objectifying, but as far as cultural indicators go, surely this is preferable to gym bros with protein shakes. For legit book boys, a love of reading has become a beacon for right swipes. But what about the men whose version of a good book is the Joe Rogan podcast?

Amy Chan is a Vancouver-based dating consultant whose latest book Unsingle: How To Date Smarter and Create Love that Lasts came out this spring. Chan would never advise a client to lie, but she understands the impulse. “Bookfishing is symptomatic of something larger that’s going on in online dating culture: It’s pretty dire for guys on the apps these days,” she says, citing research from the dating company Hinge that shows about 10 per cent of men get the attention of about 80 per cent of women on dating apps. “I think when a guy says that he likes to read what he’s trying to say is: ‘I’m intelligent, emotionally mature, I care about culture.’” Chan has also seen an uptick in men who list being in therapy on their profiles – a response, she believes, to the same demand. “Women have made it pretty clear that they want men who are emotionally available, but that’s hard to say on a list of hobbies.”

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So, some men are fudging the facts. But have women in this space become overly discerning? Chan believes that the conversations around dating red flags (reasons to rule a person out) may have reached the point of overcorrection. “A lot of the women I work with have gone from no boundaries to sky-high boundaries, so now every guy is a sociopath, a narcissist.”

Perhaps a professed fondness for reading, in this context, is the rare reliable green flag that doesn’t require Jacob Elordi’s jawline or Timothee Chalamet’s baby blues – a forgivable fib if handled with good humour.

Thinking back on the guy who ghosted her, Ross says it didn’t have to be a deal breaker. “I think he probably could have recovered if he had just been honest and said: ‘I was just nervous, trying to seem cool,’” she says. “It could have been one of those hilarious ‘How did you guys meet?’ stories, but I guess we’ll never know.”