Time: Who is to say much more of it we have left? If someone is chronically late, it can feel like they think they have all the time in the world—at the expense of everyone else’s.
“Time is one of our most finite resources,” explains Dr. Gayle MacBride, Ph.D., LP, a psychologist with Veritas Psychology Partners. “When someone consistently arrives late, it may communicate—whether intended or not—that they value their own time more than yours. This sense of disregard can be especially grating in professional contexts or high-stakes personal situations.”
Psychologists report that people who are often late have a reason, whether others find it valid or not. Often, people who are always late also share these eight common traits. Psychologists revealed these characteristics and, if they sound familiar, offer a five-step guide to showing up on time more consistently.
Related: People Who Avoid Responding to Texts Right Away Often Share These 9 Traits, Psychologists Explain
Common Reasons Why People Are Always Late
“Chronic lateness isn’t usually about laziness,” Dr. MacBride explains.
So, what gives? She says that consistent tardiness can result from:
- Struggles with planning and executive functioning skills, such as those associated with ADHD.
- Avoidance, such as from anxiety.
- Other physical or mental health issues.
- Poor boundaries and over-committing.
- Cultural attitudes toward time.
- Caretaking (if you’ve ever tried to leave the house with a toddler, you probably feel this one in your bones).
Related: An Etiquette Expert Is Begging You to Never, Ever Show Up to a Party at This Time
8 Common Traits of People Who Are Always Late, Psychologists Say
1. Time optimists
Optimism has its place in daily life. However, Dr. MacBride reports that excessive time optimism is essentially toxic positivity—on someone else’s watch.
“Time optimists consistently underestimate how long tasks will take,” she explains. “Psychologists call this the planning fallacy: a cognitive bias where people assume best-case scenarios rather than realistic ones. A ’10-minute drive’ might actually take 20 with parking, but they focus only on the ideal version.”
2. Poor time awareness
Some people may not feel optimistic about time but rather lose track of it.
“This can be related to executive functioning challenges, like those seen in ADHD, or simply to personality differences where time feels more fluid,” says Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa, Ph.D., a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor. “Without a strong internal ‘clock,’ these individuals can regularly find themselves behind schedule.”
3. Easily distracted
There are so many more ways to get sidetracked these days, thanks to constant notifications popping up on your smart devices. However, being the first to know about a news item may make you the last to arrive at a dinner party—and when you do get there, you’re way late.
“Those with trouble sustaining focus are more prone to getting derailed by small tasks—answering one more email, putting away laundry or scrolling their phone,” Dr. MacBride shares. “This can be due to personality style, ADHD or sheer lack of organization. Minutes add up quickly, but these people don’t notice.”
3. Over-committing
“No is a full sentence” remains buzzy on the internet. However, for people who are always late, “no” may not be a word in their vocabulary.
“Chronic lateness often accompanies saying ‘yes’ too often,” Dr. MacBride says. “These people overfill their schedules because they want to please others, fear missing opportunities or overestimate their capacity. The result is a domino effect of running late from one thing to the next, never making anyone really all that happy.”
Related: 75 Inspiring Quotes on Setting Boundaries and Saying ‘No’
4. Rebels
People-pleasers can overextend themselves at the expense of showing up on time. However, rebels can often chalk their nature up to a cause of chronic lateness, sharesDr. Hannah Yang, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist and founder of Balanced Awakening. Think the mindset of, “I do things on my time—not on an institution’s.”
“Often, this is informed by an unconscious belief about authority or systems being ‘bad’ and needing to take a stand by doing things one’s own way. It’s also a show of independence,” she explains.
Related: People Who Felt Ignored as Children Often Develop These 14 Traits as Adults
5. Thrill-seeking
Some run from pressure. Others can’t run until they’re under it—but they need to pick up the pace or they’ll cross the finish line well short of others’ expectations.
“Some people experience lateness as a form of adrenaline,” Dr. MacBride explains. “They delay leaving—doing one more thing or thinking, ‘I don’t need to leave yet’—until the last possible moment, then rush to beat the clock. This ‘deadline high’ feels energizing—even if it frustrates everyone else.”
6. Chronic stress
Pressure can also manifest as stress, contributing to chronic lateness.
“When someone is under constant pressure, their attention is pulled in multiple directions and their mental energy is stretched thin,” Dr. Lira de la Rosa shares. “Stress makes it more difficult to plan ahead, prioritize or smoothly transition between tasks, which increases the likelihood of arriving late.”
7. Perfectionism
This one may seem ironic—lateness feels like the opposite of perfect, right? However, Dr. Yang points out that perfectionism can leave people perpetually behind.
“Sometimes the struggle to be ‘perfectly ready’ or to check all of ‘the things’ before leaving the house ends up making this person late,” she explains.
For instance, she says that someone may need to change outfits or hairstyles numerous times until they feel like they’ve achieved the “right” look. Sometimes, Dr. Yang notes that these traits stem from OCD-like symptoms.
“Someone with OCD-like traits may need to check that the door is locked a few times, for example,” she says.
8. Social anxiety
Dr. Yang shares that people with social anxiety might prefer to show up late rather than be the first one to arrive, fearing awkwardness.
“Also, avoidance may be flaring up, and they may prefer to spend as little time as possible at the event—coming late and leaving early—to limit social contact and time feeling uncomfortable with others,” she adds. “Lateness is all about reducing or avoiding discomfort for the socially anxious.”
Related: A Clinical Psychologist Is Begging ‘People-Pleasers’ To Start Doing This One Thing
5 Tips for Arriving on Time if You’re Always Late
1. Cultivate self-awareness
While people who are always late often share common traits, it’s important to remember that we’re all unique. So, pinpoint the reason or reasons that you struggle to roll up on time.
“Reflect on some of the reasons and traits above and see what resonates with you,” Dr. Yang suggests. “The solution starts from within. Bring awareness to your own process—make any unconscious beliefs more conscious—and be honest with yourself about any reasons you may have for lateness, showing up consistently for you.”
2. Work backward
Dr. MacBride says working backward can help you take significant steps forward in time management and awareness.
“Instead of deciding when to leave, decide when you need to arrive and then plan backward,” she advises. “Factor in your commute, parking, walking in and a small buffer for the unexpected.”
She explains that working backward counters your brain’s inclination to underestimate how long things take and shortchange the “in-between” steps, like the commute (in rush hour traffic).
3. Tell yourself a fib
Consider this strategy a white lie that benefits you and those depending on you.
“Tell yourself the meeting starts at 12:45 instead of 1:00 or plan to arrive at the airport a half-hour earlier than you think you need,” Dr. MacBride recommends. “This shift reframes what it means to be on time—the time you are aiming for is actually a little early… Automatically adding a cushion helps absorb unexpected delays, like traffic or last-minute tasks, without throwing off your schedule.”
Over time, she shares that this buffer can become a genuine habit.
4. Use transition rituals
Dr. MacBride suggests having consistent cues to stop what you’re doing before heading out, like setting an alarm 15 minutes before your departure time.
“Getting one more thing done before you leave isn’t a character deficit,” she emphasizes. “It is easy to miss how little tasks add up to larger amounts of time and result in being late. Be willing to set up a system that works for you and respond to that queue, even if you think you can unload the dishwasher before you leave the home.”
5. Visualize success
Dr. Yang encourages people who are always late to visualize other people’s happiness (and perhaps pleasant surprise) when they show up on time. It can serve as a sweet and non-shaming motivation factor.
“Since being on time or late has social and relationship implications, with lateness sometimes bringing up negative feelings like disrespect and lack of trust, flip that around by thinking about the positive emotions you’ll set in motion for others when you show up on time—or even early,” she says.
For instance, she says you might begin by envisioning not feeling so bad that you showed up late.
“Then, move on to imagining what good vibes you might create by being on time,” she explains. “If you practice this short visualization regularly, you’ll naturally become more motivated to be on time. You might even find that your routine and behaviors around getting ready even adjust a bit to facilitate your timeliness.”
Up Next:
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Sources:
- Dr. Gayle MacBride, Ph.D., LP, is a psychologist with Veritas Psychology Partners.
- Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa, Ph.D., is a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor.
- Dr. Hannah Yang, Psy.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist and founder of Balanced Awakening.
