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Illustration by Drew Shannon
I read that on the History.com website, that 4,000 years ago the Babylonians started their year off by making a resolution. They believed if they honoured their goal, good fortune would follow them throughout the year. A typical resolution back then would be to pay off a debt or return borrowed farm equipment.
Current resolutions typically involve exercise, weight loss and saving money.
Well my 2025 resolution doesn’t fit any of those categories. The only reason I even chose to make one this year is because I have a bad habit and I’m kind of ashamed of it.
I went back to do internet research on the success rate of keeping a New Year’s resolution. Brace yourself. It’s dismal. British psychologist Richard Wiseman stated 88 per cent of people failed within the first two weeks and he suggested it’s because the human brain lacks the willpower to maintain said resolution. That bit of information was almost enough to stop me from even attempting to start mine, but I love a challenge.
My bad habit started innocently enough many months ago when the quiet “ping” from my iPhone, sitting on the kitchen counter, caught my attention while I was on the way to the bathroom. I grabbed it because, who knows, maybe it could be an important text? I read it while I sat on the toilet. It wasn’t important. But I sent a response anyway. How efficient am I?
From then on, I got in the habit of taking my phone to the bathroom. Every time. In fact, I would look for it as if my body functions would not co-operate without its presence.
Not only did I read messages, I checked Facebook, swiped left to Instagram, scrolled news articles and I even read emails. Bathroom breaks took longer but I felt quite clever with my multitasking efficiency. Plus, I was keeping on top of all that was happening with friends and strangers, globally and locally.
In the middle of December, I responded, from the throne, to an email. I used full paragraph format, a courteous salutation and even added a cheeky P.S. That’s when I realized I was hooked. I had a problem.
Who did I think I was? And when did I think my life was so busy, I needed to respond to friend’s messages and scroll social media in the bathroom? I will point out that I did not ever participate in this activity in a public washroom. Eww, the germs in there.
Hence, my New Year’s Resolution evolved.
I asked Google: “Do people text while on the toilet?” One of the responses was from a study done by Nord VPN, a cybersecurity company, and they stated that 66 per cent of Canadians use their phones while they’re on the toilet. Phew. I’m not the only one in Canada doing it. What a relief. The old saying “misery loves company” is applicable here and now.
In order to break my habit, I knew I had to be held accountable.
I told my husband, “My New Year’s resolution is to not use my phone in the bathroom. No more texting or reading emails or stuff. Nothing. I’m quitting cold turkey.”
“You text in the bathroom?” he said. “Really?” And he walked away without saying another word. He’s such a wise man.
To ensure success with my resolution, I practiced a few days before Jan. 1. I was confident it would be super easy to stop. But it wasn’t. I would argue with myself to leave my phone in the kitchen. My husband would smile at me when I was successful. Other times, when the urge not to miss out on something took hold, he looked the other way.
Now here I am, a month and a half into the New Year and I can guarantee my bathroom is a phone-free zone. Yeah, I’m crushing the New Year’s Resolution failure rate.
I admit I have been tempted to sneak a peek while peeing. But so far, I have only had one near miss. It happened when I rushed into the house from a chilly walk, headed straight to the bathroom and pulled out my phone as I went to sit on the throne. Shoot. Old habits are hard to kick. Not wanting to jeopardize my resolution, I set my cellphone on the counter and pushed it out of reach.
As I pondered my near miss, I noticed the bathroom baseboards need a paint touch up and the ceramic floor needs buffing. Lucky me. My New Year’s resolution has added items to my job jar.
Barbara Wackerle Baker lives in Calgary.
