This article is part of Run, Die, Repeat, Polygon’s week-long series exploring roguelikes.
I’m so glad I reinstalled Returnal.
Housemarque’s bullet-hell roguelike was one of the first next-gen games I played after getting my PlayStation 5 at the end of 2021, and I spent about 20 hours — and racked up exactly 19 deaths — to get to the end credits. Having seen its ending, I was satisfied, and a little intimidated by the prospect of needing to beat its second half (and final boss) once again to get Returnal’s secret ending. The game is tremendously difficult, and its long runs produced some of my most stressful gaming experiences this side of Dark Souls 3. So I let the game rest, eager to try out what else the PS5 had to offer.
That is, until recently. I couldn’t get Returnal off my mind after years away. Knowing Selene was still stuck in that time loop — and knowing what was really going on — ate at me. I had unfinished business the completionist in me wouldn’t let fall by the wayside.
Returnal’s fast-paced, third-person shooting ignited something in me that the rote cover shooting of something like a Mafia title just couldn’t. Its combat encounters created a good kind of stress, in the way the best Soulslikes do. I wanted to be stressed out by a game while feeling the exhilaration that comes from defeating it, and something new like Elden Ring Nighteign just wasn’t going to scratch that itch for me.
I had to return to Atropos.
The frightening alien world, and the haunting score that makes it all the more creepy, welcomed with open arms… if open arms actually meant “death by tentacle-monster in the second room I entered.” I rewatched the tutorials and cleared a couple rooms, but a couple quick deaths let me know my skill level wasn’t up to snuff with my late-game save file from nearly four years ago. To get back into a groove, I switched profiles and started Returnal’s time loop from scratch, eager to explore its mysteries all over again. After all, that’s what a time loop is good for.
I had forgotten how quickly Returnal gets into the action. A quick cutscene introduces Astra astronaut Selene and her ship Helios before they crash land on the hostile alien world of Atropos. She soon discovers a corpse of herself, implying this isn’t Selene’s first rodeo; the time loop already has her in its clutches.
I died again (of course), though not as quickly as I had in my Act 3 save. On my next run, I made it all the way to the first boss before perishing. Though, as any roguelike enjoyer can relate to, I was so close to victory. So close.
Hungry for one more attempt, I had to remind myself that it was getting late and Returnal’s runs are long. It took me an hour to get to that boss, and for some roguelikes one hour of play is half of a successful run. Still, I looked forward to venturing through Atropos again, as well as challenging the aptly named Tower of Sisyphus, which acts as an endless mode for eager challengers to test their mettle.
As more fantastic games come out with each passing week, I have less time to revisit my favorites of yesterday, no matter what type of comfort food they provide. In a lot of ways, revisiting a game, any game, is like playing a roguelike a few runs in. You know what you have to do. You know what to expect. You know you’re gonna die (a lot). Yet, you can’t help but persevere.
